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A Filipina wife who doesn't really want to return.....

Discussion in 'Expat Section' started by garbonzo, Feb 20, 2019.

  1. garbonzo

    garbonzo DI Senior Member Veteran Marines

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    I am sure I am not the only one with this issue....My wife is from La Carlotta, although she was educated and worked in Bacolod. I met her there on vacation in a 'guided' vacation in 1980....It has been wonderful since. We bought a magnificent block in a secure subdivision in Talisay several years ago....And she is for us building there one month and against it the next....It totally gives me the shits.....I am retired....she is still working part-time..And she is two years - older than me......We have a decent life in Australia, can't complain (although there is a bit of anti-Americanism here)...and a smaller bit of anti-Asian here too....But not to exaggerate....it is a good life here for both of us.....

    But we have just under 1000sqm in a very secure Talisay ( 20k's north of Bacolod) quality subdivision, fully paid for, that many wealthy locals live in......Suits me fine...But my wife is on, or off again - about medical care....traffic....(in Bacolod)......Even after building our perfect simple house, vehicles and furniture etc....we would be on about $3000 USD a month....Good enough in my mind....but not hers...in case of medical....My response is that is ok if we pay the Blue Cross....which seems to change every day. And then is the greatest fear - her relatives...not to me of course....I can fk them off easy, those few who could be an issue......For Negros veterans - what do you think? Thanks and semper fi!

    I am absolutely tired of one month we are leaving, next month we are not.....rinse and repeat....Anyone else had this difficulty......? I am quite exasperated by it.....Even my shrink tells me to move there....LOL....
     
  2. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    Why in the world would she want to move back to the Philippines after she has made it to the promised land?
     
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  3. Obliged Friend

    Obliged Friend DI Member Veteran Army

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    What price happiness...when I returned to the USA for health concerns during the examination told the RN, I had been been living in the Philippines. Later I read in my files...she noted..”was receiving substandard healthcare”.

    After my bloodwork..returned to the doctors office...the test results were already being transferred to a 32 inch led screen near her desk.

    Stay in Australia, let her return to the Philippines.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2019
  4. Notmyrealname

    Notmyrealname DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    This is a relationship issue and only you two can solve it. For what it is worth: People can use emotions or intellect in matters such as these and it is difficult if the two people involved are coming at it from different perspectives. If it was me and my wife I would try to find one thing that both can accept, even if not fully: 1) Stay in Australia 2) Move to the Philippine 3) Part of each. If the final answer is that one partner is not happy then it is not a solution. If a person is forced, not necessarily physically but emotionally, into a situation they don't like then it spells unhappiness for that person and ALSO the partner as the 'forced' one will have issues that affect both.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 20, 2019
  5. furriner

    furriner DI Forum Adept

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    You might do OK on US 3K in Bacolod if your home is paid for but it sounds like you would need a cash reserve in lieu of health insurance. Suggest getting philhealth for $600 per year for both of you; that card, though a ripoff for foreigners, at least will get you admitted into the hospital. You will need the liquidity of a savings account to pay 95% of the medical bills. If you actually look at the costs of what private plans offer and check the maximum payout benefits (most people only look at premiums but not Max coverage), you will see that the insurance companies here take maximum advantage of foreign dollars and stupidity. Phil health is a maximum ripoff for foreigners, though a blessing for Filipinos. Foreigners now pay very high premiums for very little coverage to subsidize Filipinos who pay very little for very high coverage. But we we pay for it not as insurance but as a hospital admission card, knowing that we otherwise could not get into an emergency room without $1k or $10k whatever pocket money that nobody happens to be varying in their pockets. Make sure you have the money to get on a plane and use your socialist Australian health plan for important longer term treatments. At 3K, you might eat out a few times per month. But figure about $100 per day, both husband and wife and you may have a few dollars at the end if the month to save in your cash medical fund. Coming to the Philippines long term should be fun and interesting, otherwise why come? At 3K you as a couple are borderline not having money for the fun things and for that I would consider remaining in Australia. Otherwise, if she has relatives and family that makes her happy to be with, that would be a reason to be here. Single people who like to drink and party will say “wow 3K, with that I could live like a king” and under their current living conditions that is probably true. But to live as a responsible married couple with a budget focused on other things than rent and red horse, as a couple you want to live decent lives in a western fashion and that is why I have concern about 3K being enough.


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  6. Notmyrealname

    Notmyrealname DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    I think you will receive comments on living on 3k USD (about Php150k) as many will have a lower budget than that.

    But I don't think the OP's issue is just related to money - his wife had cited other factors and when someone sees many obstacles in the way then it means they really in their heart don't want to move.
     
  7. Roadwitch80

    Roadwitch80 DI Junior Member

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    Can’t you go back to ‘Stralia when the “medical” becomes a real issue? My husband and I moved here a month ago and we have always said that if either one of us gets sick enough to require proper medical care, we would go back to Brisbane. Meantime, the local GPs will do for the every now and then check up.

    I reckon your wife’s issue of moving here is 70% family. Her family. And if it’s the typical Filipina family, their entitlement to demand from her financial support. The potential emotional blackmail and guilt heaped on her if she refuses to shell out money could be draining for her and she would rather not go back and deal with that.
     
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  8. ShawnM

    ShawnM DI Forum Patron ★★ Forum Sponsor ★★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Air Force

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    You'll get a lot of different opinions on this query; people have different experiences and reason to either retire or not in the Philippines.

    Folks seem to list the weather, cost of living, simple life and such but I've yet to read anyone that stated the reason being the top notch medical care.

    We've all read about the folks that move to the Philippines, build the house, buy the cars, furniture and a year or so later they sell everything and move back to their home country with vows to never return.

    Maybe rent a place close to your property for a few months to see if your wife comes around as well as how you feel about it.

    Shawn
     
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  9. Pompolino

    Pompolino DI Member Showcase Reviewer

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    Hi Garbonzo,

    I lived in Sydney most of my life and when I was on a high income that was fine but when I decided to retire at 55 years old, the cost of living in Sydney made life very difficult. Financially, a lot of the cost/benefit of moving will be determined if you are self funded or if you are on a government pension. I am self funded and being a non resident of Australia is beneficial on the taxes that I pay there - note that my accountant specifies that I must not own any property in Australia to have that benefit. As to healthcare be aware that Medicare continues for you for 5 years after you become a non-resident and if I needed to, could easily change my status back to a resident and take benefit of the health system (but go back to paying local marginal taxes and the medicare levy which I don't pay as a non resident). As to USD 3,000 per month I live on similar here in Valencia, rent an expensive (for here) home, have a partner and send my "step" daughter to a private school. I live far better here than I could do for that money in Sydney. I think it is important though that you have a pool either for a quick trip back to Oz or for emergency medical here. I have skin cancer and have to return back to Sydney every 4 months (used to be every 3 months) for treatment. I see a series of doctors when I return and each of them tell me that my general health is far better and they think that is because of the change of lifestyle - moving away from the high stress that is Sydney.

    But that was all about money, as hinted by Shawn, two people and three opinions - so emotionally you should try it out for some time and see if it suits - for me this is easily the best decision I have made (in 2015), for others it has been a nightmare. Good luck with your decision and if you want more detailed accounting/legal information you can PM me - I have spent lots of time with accountants, solicitors and financial advisers/estate planners before and since coming here. For me, the biggest confirmation came from my 27 year old daughter who, like me unfortunately is particularly critical of everything in her life and after visiting for the first time over the past Xmas and New Year said - "I have finally understood why you left Australia - it's so chilled here."
     
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  10. liannastar

    liannastar DI Member

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    Talisay is a wonderful area. 3k a month, you should be fine. I'm sure others would disagree, but I'm going to live on half that and have no reservations about it. As long you have a good cash reserve, 3k is way more than enough.
     
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