Guys Trying to find a GF Here

Interestingly, I was yack yack with two guys separately this past week and they were telling me how hard it is to find the right girlfriend here. I'm sure there are many others also on the hunt. My advice based on my lessons learned (very bad and very good) the past seven years is as follows:
1. Don't go for the "trophy girl".
2. You have to sacrifice something - maybe not as perfectly pretty, maybe not as tall, maybe small boobs, maybe
a little chubby, maybe extended family, whatever.
3. Check IDs and background.
4. Beware of drug habits. My experience is if they smoke and drink be cautious.
5. If you think you found a winner, go meet the family.
6. Make all known that you are not the family ATM machine.
7. Reach agreement on ground rules. i.e.. texting or Facebook other dudes, etc.
8. Don't cheat on her, if she cheats on you once, shame on her, twice, shame on you.
9. I have no experience going to Why Not to meet chicks but i have heard stories...
10. If you are into Ladyboys, also can't help you...

 

Let me tell a story to explain of what I speak of first. Me..married 17 years.. bad from the start. But I was catholic ( different story ) so I stuck it out way too long..never fixed it. Left..then 4 nasty NASTY years of divorce crap..During those 4 years no woman would have dinner or go to to zoo or even have a drink with me. They all considered me just a *cheating husband*..after all I was still married not divorced .. So I played with computers and got into a couple chat groups..pre-social networks like Fbk etc. And I found people to talk to. I had to work seven billion hours a week to pay rent..pay my support of way too much..numbers are not important here and now.. So anyway..I found myself getting junk email for dating sites.. And got into that. With a zillion Philipino and Chinese chicks constantly telling me in the 2nd letter they were in LOVE with me..Ok.. They were salesladies..turning a lot of rocks..and getting rich !!

Now lets zoom ahead to these guys coming here. Many of them are *broken*..really want to be told they are good people. It does not matter how broken down ..balding fat..guy that smokes and drinks too much ..inside he remembers himself in PRIME..and he wants to BELIEVE the women that tell him he is great..He almost needs it. remember he is broken..emotionally distraught and beat up. The fact that the women is way young..pretty ..sexy and he can bed her in 2 days or less..Wow.. he must be good after all. This is how it can very easily go for some of them. I personally did my best to try to stop 2 different Train Wreak marriages to no avail. One of them really knew it was bad..he was being used..but he did like the Trophy part..and so far..pre marriage they were getting sex regular..He was *ALL IN*.. I ran a Yahoo expat group for 10 years.. guys are going to be stupid no matter how much good info you tell them. When they are in the middle of it.. Its party time.. Most of them know inside its not going to be long term..so they ride it for a while. The trouble is the girls are smarter and been playing the game longer and much better then these guys ever would imagine. In the sixties overseas.. I was one of a couple of guys sitting in the back booth of a G.I. bar with my lady doing her job..bar-girl. I got to drink for free and and took her home every nite while 5-10? guys waited out front we slipped quietly out the back. Guys ..Eighteen or Sixty Eight..still the same guy inside...thinking with his dick still..

When it walks like a duck.and quacks like a duck..yaddy yaddy.. guys think they have the *golden goose*. and the girls know
they have the *dying swan jackpot*

 

Maybe I saw you in one of those GI bars Ed. lol

 

And I'm quite certain you weren't participating in such behaviour. Just stopped by for a cold bottle of the "Nectar of the Gods" :dnr:

 

Good post. 1) Depends, how trophy is the guy? I think you mean don't go after someone out of your league? Can be modified, depending on how generous you are and how "practical" the woman is I think. 2) Of course you always give up something, or almost always. It's hard to find a complete package in one woman. That is why so many guys prefer to stay single and play the field. 3) I would only check IDs and background if I invited a woman I did not know well to live with me. Some guys just don't have a good feel for who is real and who is not, an especially important 6th sense in a third world country. 4) I don't date drinkers or smokers, but I think they are suspect often. 5) Yeah if you're getting serious you need to know a bit about her relatives. 6) Yes and be honest and frank-don't gloss over things that might be a major issue later. 7) Does not apply to me as I don't follow the "cheating" logic 8) I found out all about discos at home. Discos are not good places to meet women. Neither is the internet. 9) Gosh some of them are pretty as long as they keep their pants on.

 

Alot of these women are very good actresses. Some guys think they cannot be fooled. But they can be so wrong.

 

Robert Palmer & Ricky Ricardo sang:
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter

A little boy sat down and cried
An old man passing asked him why
He said I can't do what the big boys do
Old man sat down and he cried, too
"Abbreviated"

 

Internet

I met my wife on the internet , 12 years ago . No regrets and couldn't be happier . I won't do a point by point take down on your post though .

regards Tony

 

I know this will not be welcome since I am American female, but as I walk around here and see these men, with their "trophies" dressed up like hooker Barbie, I am embarrassed for all involved. I hear the remarks and the muffled laughs, but when someone asks me "whhhyyy??" I tell them these are grown men who should know exactly what most of these girls want (financial security), and if these guys don't realize that, then they have not done their homework. Even the nicest, most kindhearted girl here is still just looking for the money. My suggestion to find the best girl is to use the head on your shoulders, not the other one (don't want STD either,"some terrible disease"), to determine her best qualities. Keep your wallet a secret, don't be a showoff, don't try to impress her by lavishing her with gifts, etc.(that is the worst thing you can do). Get to know her family and friends before committing to anything. There are lots of very nice, kind women here (why not even look at 30-40 year olds, maybe less drama) who will love you for YOU first, and then you can start spoiling her!! I think the men here have given you some wonderful advice!!