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helping vs being used your input please.

Discussion in '☋ General Chat ☋' started by hsemitara, Aug 21, 2011.

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  1. hsemitara

    hsemitara DI Member

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    i know you all went thru this before, my gfs family is poor period. i love my girlfriend to death. unfortunatly i had to leave dumaguete and come back to hawaii cuz my year expired. anyway, what would u consider being used compared to helping. my money is just enough for me and i often have just enough to get by, and im trying to save money for my return to dumaguete and my plane ticket. i have just enough to give my gf. i dont want her to work because something happend at her job that was not good. if i dnt have to give her she gets mad and always brings up her work and gets mad and i get mad and we just end up fighting. what do u think?
     
  2. permres

    permres DI Forum Adept

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    I think you already know the answer to your question and are just looking for "back up" here....yep, look out!!
     
  3. OP
    OP
    hsemitara

    hsemitara DI Member

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    i knw lifes hard there, its not even a lot of money its like 200 dollars here and there, and idk man aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
     
  4. josephen

    josephen DI Senior Member

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    Let her work and if she got problems with her work before, she can always find another work or another establishment. Good Luck, I know it is hard...
     
  5. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Oh! Oh!

    :eek: IMHO,Time to move on my friend. The Rot starts here.:rolleyes:

    Jack P.
     
  6. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    I don't know you so I will answer what I would do, if I was in your shoes. For me, I would test her and tell her, listen, financially, I can either send you money and not be able to save money to come see you, or I can not send you money and come see you sooner, and I will send you a little when I can. If she wants the money and doesn't seem to care how soon you return, I would be looking for a replacement. Long distance romances are risky at best. Hopefully for both of you, your gf is not taking advantage of you.
    It seems some other members on the forum are experts at finding ways around not the having to leave here.
    Wishing you the best of luck in finding a positive solution and happy ending (no pun intended).
     
  7. Rhoody

    Rhoody DI Forum Luminary

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    Well I am not so diplomatic like others...

    sounds like a brilliant plan to me :D ...remember, no witnesses or anything which can track you.

    Joke aside, from some of your other posts I assume you are part the younger generation, you are not talking about spending the last few years of your life with a lovely woman like many retirees in Dumaguete.

    You talk about drama and fighting before your life together really begun.

    As long you don't have commitments (like kids etc. together), I have the feeling you already know the answer but it is your life. there are plenty of fish in the ocean.
     
  8. dancingrabbit

    dancingrabbit DI Junior Member

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    The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of..Author unknown


    Every exit is an entrance somewhere else.....
     
  9. jellyfish

    jellyfish DI Forum Patron

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    Althoughh none of us knows enough of the situation (the honesty and/or real intentions of your gf) we only can warn for a pitfall here.
    To me it sounds like a story I have heard many times here. I hope for you of course that that story is different in your case.
    My own case: We knew each other via some diving vacations I made. She NEVER had asked me for money when I was with her. Only once she asked me when I was back home.
    Although I did trust her, I verified during my next visit the truth of the reason for which she needed the money (medical situation).
    Be honest and carefull for the one you love....but be cautious to be misused. Love can be so blind :wink: and one-sided.
     
  10. pfotoguy

    pfotoguy DI Forum Adept

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    My experience has been the more u give the more they take and it is never enough.
    The big problem is the relatives putting a lot of pressure on the girl to get more money and take care of more of the family as the bread winner.

    I read somewhere that a family will take the "prettiest child" and "groom' them to be the breadwinner so to speak. They will get the best of everything and their siblings will go without in order to give them a chance to grab the brass ring.

    But good luck to you. It's a tough learning curve for all when we first start out.
     
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