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Lear from each other

Discussion in '☋ Dumaguete City ☋' started by kuting, Mar 18, 2007.

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  1. kuting

    kuting DI Junior Member

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    I went to Apo Island along with my local relatives for a swim.
    I’ve met a couple of blonds in their mid twenties walking around the beach. I said “how you doin “ ( really fast just like how Americans say it) and one of them responded to me in pure Visayan (Cebuano) dialect.

    Having been away from Dumaguete after my high school graduation to attend college in Manila, then migrated to the USA, I could not keep up with her speaking my native language.

    Both of them are American Peace Corp volunteers. Which answered my curiosity why this women can speak my native tongue fluently while me on the other hand loosing it to tagalong/taglish and now main stream American lingo.

    It is part of their job to learn local custom and tradition. For a small amount of US dollar pay check, they have to stay in an assigned local home and live like locals.

    I know that this will raise some eyebrows but I have to ask this question.

    How long will take for a mix marriage couple ( Filipina and Western Guy ) to really learn from each other, rather than “ everything is okay because we have plenty of money and we can afford to live upscale status here “

    BTW – I would love to hear from the Mr. rather than the Mrs.
     
  2. Timn8ter

    Timn8ter DI Forum Adept

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    I'm not sure what "learning" you're referring to.
    In my case, my wife's Filipino family is not wealthy. The children are beginning to do well but my wife is the only one married to a kano. When we visit the family we stay at the provincial home and live pretty much like everyone else in the barangay. We eat what everyone else eats, sleep on the beds or the floor like everyone else and hang out on the patio like everyone else. I go shopping with the family in the nearest town (which always creates a "stir" with the locals) and try speaking the language when I can.
    Here in the States my wife didn't teach me anything about Pinoy life other than cooking some very delicious food. I took it upon myself to read about the culture as much as I could and talk about what I was reading with my wife and members of her family.
    For those westerners that live in the Philippines the way they have always lived, and just hang out with their western buddies; they may never get a grasp on Pinoy life.
    I hope my blabber was on topic.
     
  3. sheelah

    sheelah DI Member

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    Kuting, I know that you would love to hear from the Mr rather than the Mrs. but I can't help it :smile: In my opinion, I think it all depends on how interested the person is in learning the culture. No matter how hard you try, if the person is not interested, it won't matter. People are more receptive if they want to learn.
     
  4. pickled_newt

    pickled_newt DI Forum Patron

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    Exactly , I do agree with this.
     
  5. pickled_newt

    pickled_newt DI Forum Patron

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    Kuting's query :

    "How long will take for a mix marriage couple ( Filipina and Western Guy ) to really learn from each other, rather than “ everything is okay because we have plenty of money and we can afford to live upscale status here “ BTW – I would love to hear from the Mr. rather than the Mrs."




    May I ask @ Kuting ,is this question targetted for mix marraige couples who tie their knot only after 4 days to two weeks of courtship,less knowing each other well ?:eek: :confused:
     
  6. OP
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    kuting

    kuting DI Junior Member

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    to Timn8ter

    Timn8ter - I appreciate your questions. You are very decent individual, your wife is lucky to you. Thanks for mentioning about those “ Westerners “ who came and open up bars in the PI.

    I am filipino, born and raised / educated in the PI, married to a very smart opinionated American blond who doesn’t know how to cook , which started my curiosity about mix marriages.

    Your blabber is right on money buddy !! :wink:

    One last thing, if you have a chance go to Blockbuster Video, try to find and watch “ The Joy Luck Club”.
     
  7. wretched_hyena

    wretched_hyena DI Member

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    I am reminded of military people I've known who had been stationed in Germany. I noted that there were two distinct schools. One lived in an American area, shopped in American stores, hung out almost exclusively with other Americans a,d avoided the clashing of cultures. The other rented an apartment from Germans, made lots of German friends and got out and lived the culture. The former always said they hated Germany and would never go back. The latter always cherished their time there and planned to go back to see friends and do things they never got time to do.
    As for learning, I have one other thing to say. I believe that the American government should pass a law that, before you can graduate from high school, you should be required to stay in a third-world country for at least two weeks...no hotels.
     
  8. Timn8ter

    Timn8ter DI Forum Adept

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    Kuting,
    I've added "The Joy Luck Club" to my Blockbuster queue. Thanks.

    hyena,
    I agree, in spirit. (in reality I don't want the gov't telling me what to do)
    My asawa and I were just talking about this. Too many Kanos are unwilling to expose themselves to other cultures because it's "uncomfortable" and they think they have the answers to how people should live, regardless what country they're in. To me, the best part of traveling to other countries is getting away from the tourist areas and finding out how the people actually live. It provides a much better viewpoint to the world in general and makes you appreciate what you have. Too many Americans take what the have for granted and squander their opportunities, complaining the whole way.

    I know a guy, married to a Filipina, with two kids. I asked him if they would be bilingual, Tagalog and English. He emphatically said, "NO!". My kids are Americans. I tried to point out that they're going to want to know about their Filipino roots.
    I don't think he gets it.
    There is a large Filipino community here in Seattle so I have the chance to see, first hand, what goes on between the immigrant parents and their "American" children. It's quite fascinating. One in particular lived in the Philippines until she was about 10 years old. We have conversations about Filipino life, her family, her parents, etc.. She really enjoys being able to talk to someone about it all.
     
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    kuting

    kuting DI Junior Member

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    Learning from each other

    To: wretched_hyena, Denton, Texas;
    Peace Corps - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    But of course, this is only in The USA.

    Must have at least 4 years college degree. Just like in the military, at least 4 years in service. Don't know if renewable or not.


    To: Timn8ter , Seattle, WA USA;
    Thanks for your comment.
    I am an officer in our local FilAm community which is mostly mix marriages.
    ( I wont call inter racial coz that’s pertaining to some other group)

    Our children are having their own “ FilAm” community group inside the state university well recognized by the State. They love to perform the ethnic song and dance that we introduced to them. The University embraced their small “ FilAm” group with respect. With the full support from our own community, the kids are proud of who they are.



    Sheela – Please don’t get me wrong but I have to ask you this questions and expect an honest answer.

    Being submissive is not the solution to accomplish harmonious marriage.
    Shutting off is not an option in establishing good communication.

    Sometimes, women like macho men or vice versa ( I am just kidding on this line):wink:

    1) Is that why the divorce rate is high?
    Divorce Rate : Divorce Rate In America
     
  10. chrissar

    chrissar DI Senior Member

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    Pickled_newt, Kuting might also have referred to not just the short-length courtship and then getting hooked but he might be referring also the so-called MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE and wide age gap perhaps.:confused:
     
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