Hi. I am looking for a couple counselor in Dumaguete City. I and my boyfriend are expecting a baby and are planning to get married but we seem to always have an argument whenever I express concerns to him. His default reaction seem to be defensive and acting hurt instead of listening to me and understanding the situation first. Please help. Thanks
Here is a thread from a few years ago. Some ideas of where to look and the last post has a first name. https://dumagueteinfo.com/board/thr...counseling-family-therapy-psychologist.22940/ I'll warn you it's from the male perspective. The last post is a member who offers help and is a psychologist, but I haven't seen a posting from her in my time here so not sure how you would reach out. Maybe an admin can help. Her name is Christine. I'd be pretty concerned when you need pre-marriage counseling. That usually comes after a few years of marriage. It's good that you recognize there are issues and are trying to resolve before you get married. The truth usually lies somewhere between the right and left perspectives. Another thread from this forum. Mr C is a specialist and has some thoughts. https://dumagueteinfo.com/board/threads/good-psychologist-in-dgte.23079/ Here is a newspaper article on the Behavioral Science Clinic (BSC) in Barangay Candau-ay, Dumaguete City. https://www.sunstar.com.ph/article/90528 Here is the resume of a Silliman faculty member that may do work on the side. Her email is in the resume. http://silliman.academia.edu/MicheleJoanValbuena/CurriculumVitae Good luck!
You have received some very good advice here from the very helpful section of members. But one thing that concerns me is: Are you BOTH asking for counselling or only you? Sometimes a partner (usually the male) is very hesitant but will attend if persuaded by the other partner - however, both being motivated is obviously the best way forward. That brings me to the point of whether you posted this without his knowledge. That is not necessarily a bad thing but he may react negatively once he knows. I am not a counsellor but I do know that people can come at relationships from different angles - for example, males tend to think intellectually and females emotionally. You need to both be on the same side and I think that would be to look at the differences from an emotional perspective. Maybe you are probing his emotions and he is being defensive as he is not good at emotions - you are asking him to go somewhere that is not in his current comfort zone. But if you are to marry and have a successful union then I believe it essential he can deal with emotions. If there is that gulf then perhaps a third party (counsellor) will be a solution but I am sure you are aware that counsellors don't solve problems - they help YOU to solve problems. Just someone asking him how he FEELS and helping him understand how to know how he feels would be a start. There are possibly other issues her, which I am not going to discuss, but which may come out within or after counselling. You always need to be prepared for things not to be as you wish - but be positive and hope for the best.