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Suggestions for Estate Planning in Dumaguete

Discussion in 'Expat Section' started by Obliged Friend, Feb 17, 2019.

  1. Obliged Friend

    Obliged Friend DI Forum Adept Veteran Army

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    What to do in Dumaguete to prepare for the inevitable Grim Reaper?

    How to provide for our children. What really happens to them when we are gone?

    Funeral arrangements & etc.

    Any information this subject would be very appreciated.
     
  2. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Well this something we should all thing about now, Surely your wife will Bring them up?
    You can buy Prepaid services from quite a few place in and around Dumaguete. Funeral Plans they are called again, surely your wife will know about these things?
     
  3. OP
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    Obliged Friend

    Obliged Friend DI Forum Adept Veteran Army

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    The wife is from the “mountain”.

    Where do foreigners have their funerals and burials in Dumaguete? I’m eligible for burial at Arlington but...here I am.

    I have seen several cemetery locations in the area...they’re not a place where I want to be. I guess they are for the general public.

    What really happens to our “white” daughters after their fathers have departed? How will their lives be?
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2019
  4. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Here my Friend you are the General Public or had you forgotten who/what you are and certainly where you are
     
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  5. Notmyrealname

    Notmyrealname DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    Difficult to answer this in a general way without knowing specific circumstances. But I will have a go:

    1. Funeral: There are various Funeral Homes and others here may suggest a good one. If the choice is cremation then be aware that it has been stated on this forum recently that the Chinese one insists on cremation within 24 hours of death, but not all do. Part of one posting here (a person kindly helping with his friend's funeral where I think cash was an issue) is "3 days at the Garden of Saints funeral home (rejecting their packages) we bought an 'urn' from Claytown Daro (P150), a coffin for P5k from Green Pastures (Daro), then went on to The Haven Crematory in San Jose Ext. It was a quick turn around but there was a lot of running around and haggling. Garden of Saints was stuck with him while we did all this and as we hadn't agreed to even take him there they were in no position to argue. They got P14k in the end and they were lucky to get that." Jack Peterson has suggested here about checking on Funeral Plans.

    I suggest if it bothers you then do some research yourself so that you leave your family specific instructions.

    2. Leaving family in an adequate financial situation: This depends on your current financial situation. Either you have enough cash to have built up a fund here and/or possibly started a business your wife can run or you need to find something she could do to earn a 'living' (e.g. getting her some training). You mention "mountain" and am I correct that perhaps your wife is from a simple background and you have a concern about her opportunities for business/employment? I think the corollary of that is she would not have been used to an expensive lifestyle and these people are survivors - the poorest walk around with smiles and get by.

    3. Children: As Jack Peterson said, surely this would be in the hands of your wife. If you have any specific concerns about this then you should discuss them with her soon. I am a little unsure about your issue of "white daughters" - I assume they will live as happily in the care of your wife as if they were pure Filipino.

    I understand this matter bothers you, so may I suggest writing a list of your concerns, doing some research and discussions with your wife, then tick off each part as you feel you have dealt with it.

    My own personal view is that we must do the best can we can for the ones we love to protect them when we are gone but we cannot control their lives and so should not spend too much of our valuable time left worrying unnecessarily about it. Just that we do not leave them in a mess through absence of any forethought on our part.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 17, 2019
  6. cabb

    cabb DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster ✤Forum Sponsor✤

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    This is an interesting topic. If you have been married to both a woman in the US and a Filipina and have kids from both marriages where should you be buried, assuming good relationships with both sets for children?
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2019
  7. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    @Obliged Friend
    Marriage (Sound ones) stand on Commitment, trust and doing what is right and provide for our passing.
    In our cabinet are 5/6 Files(Each of course labelled) each one contains Instructions as to what to do when I pass for the things in any particular File, most of my pensions have Widow rights and so my wife must act on what is written in the File concerned, I have ( to my mind) covered bases that I can. Wills are there and Bank details that she would need to sort out with the Banks concerned, She is a working Lady so has her own money/ Bank account and can and would survive until all things got into gear for her, My Burial Plot is bought and paid for so I know where I am going and is a Triple Plot so that we would all 3 of us (Yep even our Daughter) go there when they also pass on. Sad part But...... The OP stated that his wife came from the Mountains, it matters not as a lot of Wives do here. If it is well documented by us then it can soon be sorted. No! we Certainly can't Control lives after we are gone but knowing we have provided and shown the way to retrieve that provision, we have done all we can :thumbsup:
     
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  8. Notmyrealname

    Notmyrealname DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    Depends which ones, maybe both, would wish the remains to be buried near them. If both then the only non-gruesome solution (and to avoid any dispute over which parts they get!) seems to be cremation and a division of the ashes. It is reported that Mick Jagger has had 4000 'lovers' (not sure the term 'lovers' is always appropriate) and this seems like his only solution to that problem.
     
  9. OP
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    Obliged Friend

    Obliged Friend DI Forum Adept Veteran Army

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    Is it fair to our children to be 4o to 50 to 60 to years older than them.

    There's a lot of this in Dumaguete. Now, in 2019, the Philippines is ranked at the bottom, in the World, for safety and security.

    We will probably not see them graduate, marry, have a family.

    I do like reading her school report card...hearing the word...”Daddy” ..the best word and sound a man can hear.
     
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  10. OP
    OP
    Obliged Friend

    Obliged Friend DI Forum Adept Veteran Army

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    It was the recent funeral service at Silliman, listening to Ron’s 10 year daughter. It was very moving. Some men were tearing up...

    Listening to her..talking about her daddy...is the reason I started this subject.
     
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