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Discussion in '☋ General Chat ☋' started by john boy, Jul 5, 2011.

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  1. john boy

    john boy DI Forum Patron

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    Hey Guys....Help me out here.
    My lovely Filipina wife would'nt hurt a fly, she is loving, caring and generous to those in need.
    Yet for some reason there is a rift in her relationship with my children from my late wife. Is this just down to me or has anybody experienced problems with children accepting your new wife. We have a wedding coming off next month and already I can foresee disharmony. This really cracking me up!
     
  2. E-man

    E-man DI Junior Member

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    First you call her your Filipina wife, and than you talk about an upcomming wedding, so my question is are you married yet or not? Regarding new wife and your children, let me ask you about her age? Taking care of children is a big responsibility.
     
  3. OP
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    john boy

    john boy DI Forum Patron

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    E-man,This morning I am at a low ebb for the very first time in a long long while!
    So forgive me, Just spouted it out.
    We have been married 7yrs, we are both over 50 and happy, my kids are grown adults with children of their own.
    Simply wanted to know if anyone else experienced resentment or whatever because they chose to remarry, regards JB
     
  4. E-man

    E-man DI Junior Member

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    If you refer to your grown up children resenting your marriage to a Filipina, than do what I did to my kids..... Ask them to grow up and stay away until they are. Sooner or later they will.....
    Who is getting married next month? Confused.....
     
  5. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    JB, sorry to hear your situation. At first glance, I would guess there may be a wee bit of jealosy and resentment, given their mother passed away and dad is loving someone else. The other possible element could be financials. Would your children possibly be losing some inheritance due to your new marital status. Lastly, maybe it is the fear of losing you to a far off land. Taking one from your Beatles I would tell them "let it be"...
    Good luck sorting that out.
     
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    john boy

    john boy DI Forum Patron

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    Appreciate your advice, It's the eldest daughter marrying and that's why I can't do as you suggest, much as I would like to. :wink:
    Thanks.....JB
     
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    john boy

    john boy DI Forum Patron

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    Thanks PatO, you may well be right in everything you said....|JB
     
  8. navytexan

    navytexan DI Member

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    JB I am also sorry to hear your situation. Pat hit on allot of the key thing's that occur when one has children not accepting a marriage or relationship. Believe me I have been down this road and it's not an easy one. My wife and I have children from other marriages (her 4 ) (Me 3). It took years and allot of tears to get to were we are today. Number one thing is you have a strong relationship (communication is key) with your wife. I look at it as they didn't accept me at first but I just kinda "Grew on Them". It's a slow process and trying to force someone to accept someone doesn't work well (teenager's are naturally opposed to any force by any parent) . Thing's I have done like supporting them in activity's (sport's)(theater) and school work have done wonders. I have never took the place of there father I am a additional supporting adult in there life. And believe me they look at it totally different today then they did many years ago when I first entered the picture.
     
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    john boy

    john boy DI Forum Patron

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    Thanks Navytexan for sharing your experience.
    It's marvelous what a bottle of wine and a Karaoke mic can do at times like these!
    Decided to let things settle down before approaching my daughters.
    regards JB
     
  10. gypsy

    gypsy DI Member

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    if u love your wife and she loves u and u two get along fine, then that is all that matters. your children may or may not learn to accept her in the end. as long as they don't try to murder each other i wouldn't really lose sleep over it if i were u. just let nature take its course...
     
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