When Trust is lost! We become Vunrable

I will try and keep this as short as I can but it shows how vulnerable we all can be at times.
We all hear and /or know of many problems that we can encounter here, We can all think that we have found our paradise yet sometimes it can all go so very Wrong. This is the 2nd Story I have come across this week about trust but this one left me with a Shiver down my Spine as I know the guy. Although he is not a friend we have spoken on Occasions and To me, he had a good Solid marriage but time away in his own Country ( No names or Country to protect him) has told a few home truth's I am afraid to say.

They( he and is wife) built a house not too far from me but in the Other Baringay. his circle of friends were of the Business Nature, which the Wife Enjoyed immensely.

His work got demanding and he was away a little more than usual.

He was not Due home until Jan 2015. but he managed to get home last week as a Surprise to his Wife of 7 years.

To his Complete and Mind Shattering surprise. the House was all in darkness when he arrived. (Although by Cell Phone his wife told him she was at Home baking)
On Opening the door, No Alarms, In fact NO Electricity, Phone call? Yep! I am at Home was the reply. OK so put the PC on and we can Chat.

He told her he was in the house and so were a family he did not know.
I will not bore all with any of the trivial but never the less lies that Followed over the next hour or two But.......

It transpires that to maintain the upkeep of this all Important Lady farce she had mortgaged the house for 1.3 million Peso, not paid the household accounts and rented out the house to family members friends.
I have now spoken to this guy who is besides himself with grief, she apparently has not paid the mortgage and of course the bank is now pursuing a foreclosure.
In short, all Trust built over the years has gone out of the Window, he has nothing but an Empty life, a house they may well loose, No Electricity or water and a wife who is apparently blaming him for all this, saying he should have been here. not realizing, no work no money.

We all say we have it sorted and it will never happen to us but, How Vulnerable are we.

A good friend of mine said to me not long ago, "Whatever we have or put into things, is only as good as the Relationship" How so very true is this my fellow members.


JP

 

Exactly my words to Him, Azon has got his Electric back on for him luckily it was only 3 months in Arrears and his Water Tomorrow. I have told him That is as far as we are Prepared to go in Helping him.

 

Just a Quick update on this, Whilst we can do nothing about his Relationship or his other problems, we have done what we could but bearing in mind what we have been taught " A problem Shared, is a Problem halved" I won't see a man Kicked while he is down, So I have told him I will sit and Listen. After a visit to a Lawyer, it seems his problems may be deeper than at first thought. I have told Azon, we can't get Involved but we can listen, if only for a further learning curve. Who knows it may yeald yet another twist, in our sometimes precarious life here.:indifferent:

JP

 

Its a good thing he followed the advice about never 'investing' more in a house here than he can afford to walk away from. At least we hope he followed it. It is rule #1 here.

 

Appears on the strength of information provided that a great deal of mismanagement has been applied by both party's involved.

 

This is the second "guy getting screwed over" story I have heard the last two weeks. Buyer beware for those entering the octagon.

 

Thinking more about this, we need to offer advice to those entering a relationship with a filipina, if they wisely use our forum for consideration. I will speak out because I had one costly nightmare experience and fortunately one happy marriage. The heart of the matter is some of these "chicks" are world class schemers. What I learned the hard way is, "if you can't trust them, you can't love them", and terminate the relationship no matter the investment. It doesn't get better, it only gets worse.

 

As a former business person, I cannot envision ever relinquishing title and control over a major investment to ANYONE with the level of experience and (often) maturity that the vast majority of "partner-type" Filipina's possess; however, that is required for any real property purchase here. Even with the best of intentions and purest of hearts, most Pinays are quite incapable of handling the day to day financial responsibilites of maintaining a residence in good order. If the foreigner partner spends a bit of time with them and a "check-list" of responsibilities, perhaps the basics can be covered for the monthly recurring obligations, but expecitng then to have a working understanding of international banking practice, debit cards, credit cards, PayPal, or (God forbid) the stock market is pure fantasy, IMHO. Couple that understandable ignorance with just a bit of greed and family "motivating" and the foreigner is sheared like a sheep, but not as gentley!!!

I mean no disrespect to the spouses or gf's of any of the members here with my comments, but the educational system here is pathetic in teaching real World skills and their previous (usually) provinical life gave little to no "hands on" experience in money management or asset preservation. JackPeterson, I am sorry for your friiend's plight, but he will unfortunately have to reflect at leisure on his decision to leave his wife "in charge" of his now defunct investment.

Hopefully, all foreigners can gain a deeper understanding of the Philippine culture and Pinay character from his misfortune.