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You Know You're Australian When......

Discussion in 'Expat Section' started by Knowdafish, Jul 4, 2009.

  1. Knowdafish

    Knowdafish DI Forum Luminary

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    For all the Aussies.....

    You know you’re Australian when…

    1. You’re familiar with Neighbours, Home and Away, Playschool, A Country Practice, Norman Gunston, Barry Humphries, Blue Heelers, Ray Martin, Bert Newton, Lisa McCune, Jon Burgess, Number 96, Molly Meldrum, Kerry O’Brien, and of course, Kerry Packer and Rupert Murdoch.
    2. You know that Burger King doesn’t exist. It’s Hungry Jacks.
    3. You know that snow is a memorable and freakish occurrence. Sometimes it’s even fake.
    4. You know the difference between thongs and a G-banga.
    5. You know that “stubbies” are either short shorts or small beer bottles, a “gimp”, “bogan” or “geezer” is a random idiot, someone in trouble is in “strife” and you’re liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans “rooting” for something.
    4. You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto etc.
    5. You know that some ppl pronounce Australia like “Strayla” and that’s ok.
    6. You know that there is a universal place called “woop woop” located in the middle of nowhere… no matter where you actually are.
    7. You know that while we call our friends ‘mates’, we don’t use terms like ’sheila’ and ’shrimp on the barbie’, contrary to popular belief.
    8. You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like ****. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
    9. You’ve seen Gallipoli, Crocodile Dundee, Young Einstein, Muriel’s Wedding, The Castle, Beneath Clouds, Strictly Ballroom, 40,000 Horsemen, and maybe even WolfCreek.
    10. It makes you happy when someone in Hollywood is actually Australian… Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Baz Luhrman, Elle MacPherson, Olivia Newton-John, Midnight Oil, ACDC, INXS, Greg Norman, Cathy Freeman, Dawn Fraser, Pat Rafter, Ian Thorpe…
    11. One word: Skippy.
    12. You know that Sydney 2000 was one of our proudest moments in history. We just ****ing rock.
    13. You know that you are not going to die of cholera or other Third World diseases (remote Aboriginal communities are a different matter)
    14. You know our country has never been conquered by a foreign nation (you don’t count 1788).
    15. We know that the Metric system will always be better than anything inches, feet, pounds and fahrenheit will ever offer.
    16. You drive on the left-hand side of the road.
    17. If you’re a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them. ‘Hit and runs’ just aren’t cricket. Because Aussies stick together.
    18. You know that New Zealanders are basically our naive country cousins, who have a weird fush-and-chups accent and, for some bizare reason, think that they invented pavlova. They are to be pitied. They have no hope of gaining the upper hand in the endless sporting rivalry between our two nations.
    19. You know that you can’t eat Fantales alone… Otherwise who will you play the ‘Who am I…’ game with when you’re reading the wrapper?
    20. You know that Sydney should be the capital, because Canberra is a hole.
    21. You know that Americans think we’re all Steve Irwin clones. And crickey, they couldn’t be more wrong.
    22. You know that lawyers wear wigs and gowns. And we make it look good.
    23. You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
    24. You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread… and actually grow to like it. You’ve also squeeze Vegemite through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
    25. You believe that democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of good ol’ Johnny Howard.
    26. You have the ability to compress several words into one – ie ‘g’day’ and ‘d’reckn?’. This allows more space for profanities.
    27. You’ve ever used the words – tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet – to mean good. And then you place ‘bloody’ in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
    28. You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.
    29. You say ‘no worries’ quite often, whether you realise it or not.
    30. You know what fairy bread tastes like, and you can’t imagine your childhood without it.
    31. You know the first verse to the national anthem, but still don’t know what “girt” means. And you’re ok with that.
    32. You’ve drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
    33. You know that backyard cricket is a nice way to bond with family and the rubbish bin. And the ‘one bounce, one hand’ rule always applies.
    34. You know that we are home to the just about all of the world’s deadliest of animals. That’s why if anybody messes with us we’ll get some funnel webs on their asses.
    35. You see people walking bare-foot on the sidewalk and don’t scorn…. because you’re doing it too.
    36. You know that in summer a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
    36. You know what trop-fest is and it makes you happy.
    37. Sausage rolls and meat pies. End of story.
    38. You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok and have offered advice that included the words, “she’ll be right, mate”.
    39. You have a story that somehow involves an excessive consumption of booze… but you can’t remember.
    40. You own a Bond’s chesty. In several different colours.
    41. You’ve ordered a steak the size as your head and only paid $5 at your local RSL.
    42. You know that Italy should never have been granted that fateful kick in the 2006 Soccer World Cup.
    43. You know how to slip, slop, slap like it’s nobody’s business.
    44. You’ve heard the Prime Minister dismiss anyone who disagrees with him simply as ‘un-Australian’, and that’s enough to make us sit down and shut up.
    45. You know that the value of a public holiday is measured in terms of alchohol. God bless the queen and her 4-day birthday.
    46. You refer to someone you like as “a total b*stard”, but call someone you don’t like “a bit of a b*stard”.
    47. You know there’s no lbw in backyard cricket, and over the fence is out.
    48. You know Drop Bears exist. Positively.
    49. You know you that roo meat tastes pretty good, but not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
    50.You know Australia IS the best bloody place on earth. Bar none.
     
  2. anthony1

    anthony1 DI Junior Member

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    Mate, cobber, digger, pal, I agree with you except I DO call a bird, bit of skirt or doll babe a 'sheila'.
     
  3. Arie

    Arie DI Forum Adept

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    well I do know that :D
     
  4. PrensBana

    PrensBana DI Member

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    You know you’re Australian when…

    Actually, we pronounce ‘d’reckn?’ as "jreckn" (maybe its just in SA)

    My asawa is speaking good strine now. :smile:

    Can remember when i gave asawa her 1st lesson in strine. We were chatting in Yahoo (not voice).
    Asawa had to go to the Australian embassy the next day and was concerned about understanding the staff.
    The tips i gave to her were:
    (A) Aussies tend to emphasize the 1st sylable of a word then let the rest die off.
    (B) Aussies often omit consanants at the ends of words (the glottal stop for the learned)
    (C) Aussies often omit sylabbles in the middle of words (ie Probly = probably proply = properly)
    The next night on Yahoo asawa said she overheard an Aussie talking and excitedley told me that she had understood half of what he said! (yehey!)


    Some typical Aussie convo:

    Friday arvo:
    Dazza: avaguhweegen
    Bluey: oo'roo

    Saturday @ the bo'ullo:
    Bazza: Owzitgo'en Shazza?
    Shazza: Not too bad fanx. wochawanh?
    Bazza: Jussaslaba VB
    Shazza: Ereya'ar
    Bazza: Emmachizit?
    Shazza: Twennyayh
    SFX: Kaching!
    Bazza: catchyaladah

    Saturday night
    Bluey: wochupto?
    Bazza: crackinaslab, Jawannajringh?
    Bluey: Givussacoldie Ma'e

    Monday at work:
    Dazza: Javaguwegen?
    Bluey: Addarippa
    Dazza: Wochadoo?
    Bluey: Sankafew tinnies at Bazza's



    P.S. Shazza is a shiela :wink:
     
  5. paul-angie

    paul-angie Guest Guest User

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    ha ha ha ha ha very good.:D

    You missed out the Australian greating-

    gday, mate, owyagoinorright ?

    or - gday,mate - owsitanginorright?

    and, of course checking out the price of a product-

    emachisit?

    :cool::p

    Paul.
     
  6. PrensBana

    PrensBana DI Member

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    Aussie lingo

    PMSL

    No i didn't miss them out........... read again

    This time a translation is included :smile:

    Saturday @ the bo'ullo: ============== Saturday at the Bottlelo (Bottleshop/Liquorstore)
    Bazza: Owzitgo'en Shazza ============= Barry said: How is it going Sharon?
    Shazza: Not too bad fanx. wochawanh? === Sharon said: Fine thankyou, what do you want?
    Bazza: Jussaslaba VB ================= Barry said: Just a carton of Victoria Bitter Beer
    Shazza: Ereya'ar ==================== Sharon said: Here you are
    Bazza: Emmachizit? ================== Barry said: How much is it?
    Shazza: Twennyayh ================= Sharon said: $28
    SFX: Kaching! ====================== the noise the till makes
    Bazza: catchyaladah ================= Barry said: Catch you later


    Saturday night
    Bluey: wochupto? =================== Bluey said: what are you up to? (what are you doing?)
    Bazza: crackinaslab, Jawannajringh? ===== Barry said: Openning a carton of beer, do you want a drink?
    Bluey: Givussacoldie Ma'e ============= Bluey said: Give me a cold beer mate

    Monday at work:
    Dazza: Javaguwegen? =============== Darren said: Did you have a good weekend?
    Bluey: Addarippa =================== Bluey said: Had a ripper weekend (had a great weekend)
    Dazza: Wochadoo? ================= Darren said: What did you do?
    Bluey: Sankafew tinnies at Bazza's ====== Bluey said: Drank a few cans of beer at Barry's[/QUOTE]
     
  7. brian ausie

    brian ausie DI Forum Patron

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    Hey you know that aeroguard is fantastic for head lice, it kills the lice and nits, just reaply in 10 days when any unkilled nits hatch, trouble is i ran out, but have tried (off the local mozy repelant) mixed with water sprayed into the scalp with a spray bottle, seems to work also
     
  8. tomtorific

    tomtorific DI Senior Member

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    NOTE to self: Don't borrow brian's comb...............LOL
     
  9. brian ausie

    brian ausie DI Forum Patron

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    haha not my head the asawa when she visits realatives, I must admit i hace never had one maybe they don't like my blood, or its my oily skin?
     
  10. tomtorific

    tomtorific DI Senior Member

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    I will be turning 60 in June and it took this post for me to realize where the term "Nit picking" comes from......slow yes, stupid?hmmm could be :smile:
     
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