There are hundreds of posts on this forum about expats adjusting to the Filipino culture but I have recently came across a situation (that I won't go into here) that had me thinking about when the situation is turned around and it's the Filipino that needs to adjust to the Western culture. I'm sure it has happened many times where a guy has met a young Filipina woman online and had no intentions of ever moving to the Philippines and just came here to marry them and help pack their things to move back to their home country. I personally don't agree with guys who meet girls online, get married within a couple months of knowing each other (and even less face time together) but I'm curious to know how one would prepare a girl for such a major life change. Not that I think that guys who do this are too concerned with the girls needs and overall mental health. There is certainly going to be some extreme culture shock happening and they will be a great distance from the only support structure they have ever known in their lives (their family). Personally, I don't know exactly what I would do to prepare my girlfriend for such a move. The differences are almost impossible to explain to someone who has lived their entire life in a 3rd world country (especially if they have lived all that life in the province). I wouldn't even know where to start but I think it would be cruel to one day say, "Pack your things honey, we're going to the US. You'll figure it out once we get there." What would you guys do to prepare your girlfriends/wives for such a move?
Fantastic Thread Dustin, one that should if members are Honest will bring some real life stories and Truths. For me, I gave up after 2 years of even Thinking about taking my Wife to EU. The Daughter would have gone in 1 min but she would have been wanting to come back in 6 months. I realized that not Withstanding the Weather, Everything would have Gone Wrong, As it would have been Spain, I thought it might have made the Difference, but the Language although she would have mastered this I am sure, would give cause to Frustration. It would have been the day to day Small things that would have escalated. Cooking on Decent Equipment, although we have this, she still cooks daily on Charcoal. Not being able to Burn at night. Having to do here Work Now, (As in Job)Today not Later only. The List could go on forever, the main thing to my Advantage is they watch so many Foreign Films on TV and I can say that this was a saving Grace for me. She said OH! How and why do people live in all that Confusion? That said it all to me. No. Firmly here we stay, I can cope with the Culture and have Adapted far more in the time than she ever would have. I will admit that she is still finding it Hard to accept and adapt to the fact she has a Foreign Husband, So What would Happen if WE just Upped Sticks and Went. My Humour Insanity would I think become a Health Insanity. That is my testament. Morning All, JP
Several people I have talked to in the past who had lived in the western world for a number of years actually had a hard time adapting back to their own culture and know if they had the chance they would go back. I think the Mrs would be happy if she could get out of here as she always says my country looks so nice and clean. Not sure how she would deal with the cold or all the bullshit and rules though! I also keep telling her there is no later na Lang and people expect things done on time and you to be there on time.
AH! Now this is it in a Nutshell, "The Grass always Looks Greener on the Other Side" You have to Remind them "Grass always needs Cutting & Fades with the Changes in Weather" and of course it is the changes that are important to ones peace of Mind. " better the devil you know" comes to Mind. JP
I don't know if my gf could adapt. Being forced to work and then showing up to work (on time), *sshole bosses, driving (like a sane person), no "market" that's a 5 minute walk away, cold weather (65-70 degrees in Valencia is NOT cold), aggressive and loud people, getting your nails done costs more than 5 bucks, hair even more expensive, tickets and fines for the little things, the price of something is the price of something (no negotiating a lower price), their accent will make them feel like an outsider (at least where I come from)....it's hard to think of more because I grew up around it. I'm sure she would notice things that I would never even think about mentioning. They likely have many misconceptions about the US because of movies and/or the expats that are already in their country as well. Most people do not look like movie stars or not everyone is elderly....depending on which one they believe. You don't regularly see 60 year old men with 20 year old women, it's usually frowned upon in our home countries. Not everything is New York City or LA.....there's a whole lot of nothing in between. (and not everyone in Texas is a freaking cowboy and rides a horse.....Europeans are just as guilty of thinking that crap lol)
