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Free Stud Service - Desparate

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by PatO, Mar 18, 2017.

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  1. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    I have a 6 1/2 yr. old virgin male miniature pinscher with papers. He needs to get laid. He is on his third day with an erection that will not go down and his knot locking it (no envy comments please). I took him to the vet today and they will keep him there overnight as they treat him with some kind of sugar spray.
    A couple of years ago I hooked him up with an acquaintance (Bill) who has a female minpin but my dog just sniffed around and didn't know what to do.
    I'm sure he will not be choosy this time and will take on any dog from a German Sheppard to a poodle. No gay dogs this time.
    PM me for a treat for your pet.
     
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    PatO, Mar 18, 2017
    #1
  2. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    I have a narcissistic racist gay monkey that is confused about what species he is. (Always wants to groom me, attacks any woman or Filipino that goes near him and hugs himself when he sees his image in a mirror. Friendly towards white men (except Norwegians) and likes to wrestle with and then try to screw male dogs. Basically a monkey version of Milo Yiannopoulos.)

    I think he is a virgin as well. Might be a good match.
     
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    Rye83, Mar 18, 2017
    #2
  3. Liverpool fan

    Liverpool fan DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer

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    If you have succes with breed these animals, I will be very interested in one of the offspring. Do they come with US birthcertifikat ? LOL
     
    Liverpool fan, Mar 18, 2017
    #3
  4. TheDude

    TheDude DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    Maybe one of these from Lazada can help? sex-toys-for-dogs.png
     
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    TheDude, Mar 18, 2017
    #4
  5. Brian Oinks

    Brian Oinks That's Mr. Pig to you Boy! :) Highly Rated Poster

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    I would assume there is a lot more work in owning a pet Monkey rather than a Dog or Cat, would I be right? I always wanted a pet monkey, but I think I have my hands full enough now I am married, so feel I would not have any time to devote to a pet Monkey if they are also high maintenence... :rolleyes: :whistling:
     
    Brian Oinks, Mar 18, 2017
    #5
  6. OP
    OP
    PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    If you've been spanking your monkey, maybe he will give my dog (Apo) a handjob. Wait! Wasn't AIDS started with someone messing with monkeys?
    Maybe Dave @ Imp can help out if they have a female cat ready for the affair she will never forget? No fee Dave, keep the offspring. Please post pictures.
    Latest update, wife wants to get Apo's balls chopped off, she's tired of Apo licking his dick. So this is urgent, I will feel like crap if at age 6 he becomes a virgin eunuch.
     
    PatO, Mar 18, 2017
    #6
  7. TheDude

    TheDude DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    @PatO Maybe you should try wearing something a little less sexy around the house?
     
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    TheDude, Mar 18, 2017
    #7
  8. Dave & Imp

    Dave & Imp DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    You know the reason Apo licks his dick? Because he can... (just a small bit of advice Pat, do not let you wife catch you imitating your dog... or slice... :o o: )
     
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    Dave & Imp, Mar 19, 2017
    #8
  9. Dave & Imp

    Dave & Imp DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    My little dog, Rambo, thinks he is the father of the present batches of kittens we have here. They do not look like him so I think the cats were cheating on him. He licks the kittens and was even caught "kidnapping the kittens" from three moms.

    I do have a full range of Kittens available now. See the picture, and I have a promo. If you take 12 for free you get one additional kitten for free too.... just like the buy one take one deals around town.
    IMG_20170308_133153_1CS.jpg
     
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    Dave & Imp, Mar 19, 2017
    #9
  10. DELETED-shotshapers

    DELETED-shotshapers Guest Guest User

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    I have a 6 1/2 yr. old virgin male miniature pinscher with papers. (HE CAN READ TOO)
     
    DELETED-shotshapers, Mar 20, 2017
    #10
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