Leaving family behind

I'm curious how tough moving to the Philippines was for those that have children and grand children in their home country. In particular, if the children are just starting their adult life. I realize you have facetime and other ways to connect, but I don't think that is the same as seeing them in person on occasion. Do you travel once every year to two to see them or just rely on facetime?

 

This is a question I have asked of Filipino's living in UK.
At the age of 58 and my youngest daughter had decided to leave home, I found myself in an empty house full of old memories.
As a widower of over ten years and never having found a lady I would choose to live with in UK, I met my Filipina wife via a Christian Friends Friendship site.
When I told my three Children of my intention to move to Philippines, they were shocked, as it turned out my health suffered due to the climate and I decided that apart from visiting, the Philippines was not the best option.
Eventually my wife was able to join me in UK and is happy here, however many younger Filipino's who living in the UK who have children born here, they face that same dilemma, of leaving their children/ grandchildren behind to retire to Philippines, they now realise that is a hard decision to have to make.
Having said that, I have never relied on my children in anyway, I have let them lead their own lives, so I feel they should let me do the same.
Living on the other side of the world would I of missed them? yes, do I see them as often as I would like? no! but that's their choice.

 

A while ago my wife and i went back to live in the UK due to the fact that after 18 months of no work it was the only place i could get a job in my line of work.
I have a grown up son and daughter there 35 and 37 years old now and at the time we went back a new born grandson.
We were back there for 3 years and i think i was lucky if i saw them more than once or twice a month and only if i put in the effort to call them or invite them for a meal.
Due to the UK home office BS which makes it difficult and costly for legal people to get visas and mainly the fact that they refused my Filipino stepdaughter a visit visa we left and returned to the Philippines.
So for me leaving family behind was not a hard choice, i think i have more contact with them now on facebook than i ever did when i was there in person.
Sad but true

 

I've lived here since early 2016.
We have travelled to the Netherlands (together) to visit family and to get married in 2018 and again in 2022, mostly to visit family and to do some touristy stuff.
I travelled back on my own in 2017 on the occasion of the birth of my 2nd grandchild, and again in 2019 because my mother's health was in serious decline. Sadly I missed the birth of my 3rd grandchild because of covid travel restrictions.
In the opposite direction, my eldest daughter visited us here in 2018 and 2023, and my youngest visited in 2017, 2019, 2022 and we met them in Bali early this year.

Obviously I have pretty strong ties with my kids, and yes of course they would prefer papa/opa (granddad) to live nearby instead of a 16 hour flight away, but they do recognize that a happy father in the Philippines is better than a lonely father nearby, and they understand and accept my reasons for living here rather than there. Obviously Whatsapp helps to stay in touch with family also.

I also recognize that if my daughters would have been just starting out in their adult life when I left, it would have been a harder decision to move to the Philippines. As it is they are both in their mid/end thirties, have a stable life with a good partner, nice house and excellent jobs, so doing really well.

 

Same here . the barstewards refused my stepchild too. But the UK is giving those who break-in a helping hand and free legal help to get visas (and future citizenship) they refuse for their own citizens' new families!

Also, I read of a Vietnamese woman put in prison in the UK who was allowed permanent residence upon release, leading to citizenship, on the basis her family would not like her because she had done time! You couldn't make it up.

 

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2. Although not strictly on Topic this may have some interest, My eldest Son has a business here in UK he is the CEO and has a small management team here, but he has 30 Filipinos that work for him they are all in their home country, they do on line research for him, normally him and his management team take a trip over to the Philippines once a year, but for the coming year he has decided to bring his Team over to UK all 30 of them. So I suggested to him to get his young half brother plus the Mother lumped in to this block Visitors Visa application, so all 32 of them are sitting in Manila at the same Hotel at this moment and tomorrow Saturday 6th, Immigration officers will turn up at this Hotel and do the necessary checks on them all.
   
   Personally I think the Mother of my young Son will be rejected as she has no good reason to return back to her home country, I put a lump sum into her bank account a couple of months back, but they will notice this has only been there a short period and since they go back for a full 6 months they will see she gets an allowance from me every month but likely it has all gone withing a few days? she has no job and although she lives in the house that I built, it was never put in her name but her Fathers as she is already Married and the Husband although estranged could possible make a claim on this?
   
   Being a block booking as this is, I'm trying to kid myself on that she may just squeeze through it all and slip through the net, but reality tells me this is highly unlikely?
   
   However I'm sure the other 30 will get theirs, it will be interesting how my young Sons application will be viewed? at this very same time I am going through the process to obtain his British Passport, we both had our DNA tests done just the other day and we are waiting the results, I have no concerns that this will not have a positive outcome.

 

Best of luck for ALL of them to get the Visas. The immigration world is getting tough these days - not helped by an orange man.

In respect of the house: The father would be expected to decease before the child(ren) and so the house could eventually belong to the child(ren) and possibly the father's wife. The whole process of compulsory heirs creates massive complications and has led to whole tracts of land being frozen because beneficiaries cannot agree what to do with it. But having a compulsory system is supposed to be good for the country (even if it means a troublesome heir gets a share)! Same as no divorce is supposed to be good for family life when, in reality, it leaves many mothers alone and struggling to raise their children, with the possibility of imprisonment for finding a new partner.

I have read a lot about inheritance in this country and, apart from having to read pages and pages of gobbledygook, I find different opinions. However, children (or their children if they are deceased) and the spouse are the usual beneficiaries. Interestingly, Wills can be notarial or holographic (written fully in the Testator's handwriting and do not need to be witnessed).

I have experienced that laws described by legal experts are then disputed by businesses (and they refuse to shift on that). So how does one cope in a country where each finger has a different opinion???

I have also read that (but, as stated above, who knows for sure???) :

* Property is jointly owned only if it is acquired whilst a couple are married or cohabiting. Property acquired during a marriage (which means in this country even after the couple have parted) is excluded from joint ownership by gratuitous title, such as through donation or inheritance, unless it was expressly mentioned by the donor or testator that such property will form part of the absolute community of property.

* A spouse can be disinherited from a Will if legal separation has taken place OR the grounds for legal separation are present.

* A Will does not have to be written and instead an extrajudicial settlement can take place.

* If any legitimate heir is excluded from a Will then that Will becomes void.

But because of so many contradictions and complexities, I guess in many cases there are fights in Court or on the streets!

It's not that difficult to create simpler laws that help society in so many ways - but it appears to be a low priority (and not only in this country).