Trades & Labor Best Posts in Thread: Fiance Job

My Wife has a GREAT circle of 'Mama friends' from the school where our daughter attends, I am always telling her to spend more time with them, as I tell her; "you CAN choose your friends, but not your relatives" and to keep her sane, she NEEDS GOOD FRIENDS!

I was lucky because my wife worked at an internet Cafe, so she had access to the internet 12 hours every day, so we got to 'talk' for most part of the day when she was not dealing with customers.

Over many years of talking online to others from around the world, the one thing I discovered was the 'Class system' which I never experienced in Australia, the fact that many Filipino look down on other Filipinos I found to be sad, especially those from the City with their take on those from the Province. MANY times 'young hopefuls' tried to talk me out of talking to my wife to be, because she was a 'dirt poor province girl'... I found that 'Class comparison' to be next to bad as Racism! SO MANY of these so called 'Educated Girls from the City' were so ignorant! Often on their profiles they listed as their Hobbies; "eating and watching TV"... In the beginning I laughed, not taking it seriously, but eventually found that many of these girls who were being put through College by hard working parents only wanted OUT of the Philippines, they did NOT Want to work! It turned out that "eating and watching TV" was HIGH on their list of wants!

Speaking to the girls from the provinces, most were working VERY HARD to escape their life there by Studying HARD so that they could find a good job, unlike those in the City who (the majority) had it all, but did not want any part of it. In the end, I chose "My Province Girl" because she is a hard worker who knows the true value of something she never had the chance to take for granted. I now live with her 'dirt poor' family here and for the most, they are the most genuine hard working honest people I have ever met in my life. (Mind you a few of the siblings could do with a good kick in the rear end to reign in their expectations! hehe)

Now; our daughter (in my opinion) is growing up with a 'privileged attitude' and I fear for her future regards education as she does not have the same outlook as her mother who struggled each and every day of her life to try and gain an education. I could throw the best Private School at her and I feel it will be wasted, as the 'drive' just is not there to succeed in life. I raised 6 kids back in Oz (the eldest is 34 the youngest 24) and I find, as a parent; I still do not have all the answers...
Can only hope for the best, as I tell her; it is her future and what she makes of it will be by her own doing as I will not be here forever to lead the way for her.

 

I don't think there are any easy ways around your problem other than to face them head on and take it one step at a time... After living here for a bit over two years I tend to ignore the poverty side of things nowadays, because a lot of it is caused by sheer laziness on the part of many who hold out their hands... Once you live here for a while you will get a better idea of how things work and sometimes initial impressions from a quick visit to this country tend to sour once reality sets in...

 

I find it so very sad of what is expected of some family members here, SO MANY TIMES in a very short recent time we have experienced this kind of behaviour from relatives, I TRULY UNDERSTAND CRAB MENTALITY NOW! VERY SAD! No matter HOW MUCH my Wife gives the Crabs are there to stick her in the back, but now I have put my foot down and made it clear that all those able to stand on their own two feet can find a job and fend for themselves or GO TO HELL! Enough is enough!

You have made the right decision, live YOUR life and let them live their own!

 

Many like to go to Canada as a Caregiver, I had an ex-Fiance who I put through a College course to become a Caregiver, she moved to Manila and went to a 'good' College where they offered courses, a 6 month course eventually developed into a 2 year course where as far as I know to this day she still has not received her Certificate even after having to do extra courses to improve her English and 'Volunteer' (more like forced labour!) working in Public and Private "Old People Homes" to gain experience, MANY times she approached the Dean asking for her Certificate and was told it was being processed... IF you plan on going this route to improve your GF's employment opportunities then I advise you look very deep into where she will go including the hidden fees and charges that go hand in hand with many of these BS Colleges...

Strangely; she always kept me updated with pictures of her and her groupd or Dorm mate friends, and when working in the Private Homes conditions were TERRIBLE! Like; 5 to a room on a bamboo bed, soak in urine and shyte! No aircon, filthy conditions, sad Sad SAD! The people were praying to die!
Yet; when she worked in the Government funded Home, it was clean, the people smiling and happy, they had different things to do to keep them entertained and happy, they were fed three times a day and I could not get over the difference between the Public and Private Homes!

Most who will do a course rarely end up working in their chosen field, her very close friend spent years (and her Canada based Aunt spent a fortune!) to finish her Nursing course, to this day she has been unable to find employment and has given up and become a stay at home Mum while her Husband works OFW...

Very few will escape the poverty cycle here, a very sad fact of life I am afraid to say.

 

I'm quite certain that US embassy only cares that you (US citizen) are legally divorced in teh US, not what phils NSO thingks about it. If you wife had been previously married that would be a differnet story. At least that was teh case for my wife's visa several years ago. Larry (shadow) was a big help, he would be the one to ask.

He got my wifes visa in under two months, everyone else was telling me it would take 1-2 years.

 

Sounds like she's retelling my story lol! Yup, I'm also the youngest in the family and just imagine 20 years of that experience. I finally started to "live my life" since ten years ago. I do still send stuff and visit them from time to time but here's the funny part, my boyfriend and I decided to give ourselves a time off from that routine so we're spending our holiday now in Bohol instead. They are sulking!? LOL

 

I have noticed it depends on how lazy those who criticise are, most are too lazy to work and send money back themselves, so sit on their asses and complain when it does not suit them, the one who works away slaves and lives miserably to provide, then anything they may keep to provide for themselves, they are branded as selfish! The first time I heard the term; "makapal mukha" I was confused, now I understand all too well... You will also notice how the smiling faces change when you come here and stop handing out freely, it is fine to help those who need help, but I do not agree with helping those who refuse to help themselves... I can bet your GF has not told you the full story either as it is deemed very bad to talk ill about the Family here, so more than likely she will be ashamed and remain silent. All I can say is watch your back, keep your eyes open and live and learn, many times a Filipina marrying a foreigner is like a Lottery win for the family, many here seem to think that way... Being thin skinned, thick faced, insecure, jealous, immature and so on is a way of life for many, just be aware and set boundaries as others have suggested and concentrate on building a better life for you, your GF and children, you are marrying them, not the entire family.

 

Backing up a bit, before we got married my wife was working in the Duma market arranging/selling flowers (she is the one who did the Easter arrangement outside at the old Cathedral last year) and was making p5,000/month working 6 12 hour days a week, same amount for her cousin working at Foodnet.

It sounds like it will be awhile before/if you move here. There are more places than Kuwait and Hong Kong to be an OFW, especially since she has experience. I would suggest she look into OFW jobs in Canada, much easier for you to visit and much closer if not the same time zone to talk etc.