Events, Dictate, we need help!!

So my friends, like so many others here, we have tried many combinations of help, Family, Friends Young and indifferent, always living out. Now, with my sometimes unpredictable health and my Wife's increasing pressure and added responsibility, in her Professional life, added to that, a precarious 15 year old angel (The daughter) life is dictating, live in, help. After all the time, I have been here and all the Threads and posts, on this subject, I should, know the answer to this but I Don't.

I am normally able to say something, on this subject, in others threads but this, is new to me. My wife has come across a more mature lady, that she says, will suit us to a "T" A 50+year old Widow of 6 years, ( spritely and intelligent, I am told) who is living with her only Daughter, the Daughter can't afford to pay the lady and so she feels, it is time to go out and do something for herself. [from what I gather, she also feels a burden, on a Young marriage]

This is not, I have to admit, what I had envisaged, for our House but listening to my wife, I am actually coming around to the idea.

Having a more mature lady will I guess, be better guidance, for our 15 year old (when we are not around, that is) rather than a Younger one, who would perhaps be more like an Elder Sister or a Cousin. A Problem in itself, I would think.

So Guys and Gals, Anyone got any views, Opinions or General Inspirations to pass on to me.

We have to make a decision sometime this month and I will meet her, on Friday. She is not local and both the daughter and the husband work.

What do you think??


JP

 

With my previous partner, we went through many domestic helpers. The best one we had was a 40+ (close to 50) yr old woman who befriended and helped my partner. We had paid many different wage amounts, (from about 2K to 3K per month) to the different helpers but when we got this one she insisted on 4,000 pesos a month, living in, with one day a week off. I balked at it originally but in the end I was glad I paid that. She was not perfect but she was a great help to my partner and respected me enough to do what I needed her to do. This was in a different province but I suspect the wage here in Duma will be similar.

Other friends who have had older domestic helpers have also been quite content with them.

 

Well if you want a younger one , let me know , the best I have seen in my 12 years of going there , I think she is 25 , she currently is living at my house , and if we were there permanently I would keep her and get rid of the family members that pretend to help .

 

Have to agree with Wrye on this , personally I wouldn't go over 28 or so , you run the risk of them developing an attitude as to who is running the show , getting above their station , we had one about 30 once , and after awhile she was pointing at me shaking her finger when she did not approve of certain things within the household , so I booted her and she went and worked for my American mate and his family in Dumaguete , lasted about 6 weeks and got the heave ho from there as well

 

It depends on your personality as well.

Personally, I have gone through a few and they were all pretty decent. All of them knew what they were there to do and largely faded off to the background and did their thing. As long as the basics were taken care of, I was fine with it. I was too busy to be paying much attention. Any help is help, especially when you are paying such a small amount of money for it.

There wasn't any issues with me on who was running the house because I never told my helpers what to do and they didn't talk much to me either. What is there to do? Just cook, do the dishes, do the laundry and keep the house reasonably clean. If see something which needs to be done, I just think about all the stuff I wasn't having to do and sometimes just did it myself.

These days, I don't have a helper anymore. Why bother? Is there really that much crap to do around your house? I feel like if I have a problem doing my own laundry, then I have too many clothes (or I'm going through too many.) If the house is too much effort to clean, then I have too big of a house. If I feel like I'm too busy to do my own dishes, then I need to re-examine my life and start cutting out some of the B.S.

The issue with a helper and kids isn't that the helper might try to become some sort of an authority figure over your kids, rather it's that your kids don't learn how to do these most basic things. The kids become entitled and feel like they need to have a helper. Just like back home we feel entitled like we need to have a washing machine.

Bullshit, pack it in, pack it out. Clean your own d*mn mess. It gives you a closer connection to your stuff. Once you start feeling like you have so much stuff to deal with that you need a helper, then you need to start getting rid of some sh*t and simplify your life.

If you have disabilities or medical issues, then you might really need the help though.

Also, you don't necessarily need to get someone to do everything. You could have one person do just your laundry every day. Another person could do a good cleaning of the house once a week. Personally, I don't think I want someone cooking for me ever again. As I get older, food becomes more important to me, and that's not something I want to hand off to someone else.

 

I would say go for the older one every time.
My wife has an older house help, who cooks, cleans, paints does electrics, gardening and takes her to work and back every day!
And I thought when I retire I would be the one who is looked after.

 

Aking Asawa and I will be married nah four years this Sept. Unfortunately because of her attitude towards the U.S Immigration process, her willingness to come to the U.S. has slowed the process. That aside just in our time together I can guesstimate she has had no less than 30 helpers(most I have known).Asawa owns several businesses and loves to shop so she is away from home alot. The younger one's under 25 are tamad she says and cannot cook. She never allowed any helper to cook for me, which was okay because I refused to sit at a table to eat unless her and her anak sat with me. It's my family. The older ones 25-30 all had families and could not live in. I believe she paid 3-4 thousand peso, if they lived outside and less if inside, they got three-five hots and a cot so it was less. It's hit and miss Jack, just keep and eye on them as your trial and error period will not be quick. When my Asawa dismisses a helper, she always checks there bags and many many times have found our belongins in the bags. Just aking dalawa peso

 

I did suggest to asawa we get some hired help, she was more than happy.

Then I said I would choose a young pretty girl to stay in and help her around the house! hehe

(Reverse Psychology 1.0.1 :D lol)

Asawa is more than happy to play wifey and do all the chores necessary and ask me for help when needed. Juuuuuust the way I like it to be! :D hehe