Health & Wellness Looking for Marriage Counseling, Family Therapy, Psychologist

Hi everyone!

I'm looking for marriage counseling in Dumaguete for me and my wife. Googling didn't give any results.
Some lawyers are offering such services, but I would like to speak with someone who has at least a degree in psychology, not law. Does anyone know someone that can help in resolving conflicts between husband and wife?

Thanks!

 

There's a mental health rehabilitation center here. My suggestion is that you drop her off there and flee the country.

That lawyers are offering this service should be indicative of what you should expect. If your marriage is in on edge, they'll charge a nice fee to push it off the cliff and then hit you again with separation services.

 

plenty of self help resources out there. The best ones, necessarily will be grounded in an evidence based approach - as opposed to the beard tugging hoping-the-client-comes-to-insight strains that were popular in the 1980s and before. You might wish to try the Overcoming Your (insert title of difficulty, eg OCD/Depression etc) series of books found on Amazon.

I delivered lectures on Couples work for Depression, Behavioural Activation and Trauma Focussed Approaches for PTSD a couple of years ago for Silliman's Nursing Department. Attending were a number of Docs too. Guess now's the time to see if any learning stuck lol.

C

 

Thanks everyone for suggestions. I believe our problems are not so serious to send her to a mental hospital (yet)

I think it is a common problem for filipinas - my wife doesn't do anything, she has only three modes: Sleeping mode, Brick mode and fighting mode
Most of the times she is in first two modes, and when I try to ask her to do something, she switches to the third mode without even trying to listen what I asked for.
Since she doesn't listen to me, I was hoping that there is a chance that she will listen to a family consultant, preferably woman.

I understand that I can read books about this, watch some lectures, but I can't force her to do the same and I can't properly communicate with her without her starting a fight.

Any advice regarding lazy idling wifes are appreciated.

 

This is none of my business, but if she is brick mode in the sheets then there is probably no hope for her and that's grounds for dismissal. I believe FREAK is something which can't be taught. You can teach technique, but you can't teach beast mode.

Otherwise, I would just leave her to brick out and get a helper. Maybe use her as a coat hanger or cat toy.

If she doesn't have a job, school or some sort of hustle to attend to every day then I wouldn't expect much. Retirement is a killer for old folks. I imagine it's not much different for the young. It's evolution. If the world has no use for you, then you slowly rot and your DNA goes into the waste basket. Good that the retirees are around just long enough to enjoy the rotting stage after a long run of usefulness.

 

This is the source of problems for many expat wives. The wife is surrounded by family consultants. Or consultants that are family. As with the lawyer services, they are mostly concerned with advice on getting the most money she can out of the husband and for a good chunk of those "fees" to go to the consultant.

 

This is the source of problems for many expat wives. The wife is surrounded by family consultants. Or consultants that are family. As with the lawyer services, they are mostly concerned with advice on getting the most money she can out of the husband and for a good chunk of those "fees" to go to the consultant.

 

Considering your issue nothing you *talk* about or books and the sort will help considering the standard attitude of that type of Filipina. Having other female friends for her to talk to about the real issues would be great except they tend to never talk about their problems other then the complaints they have about you.

The only thing you can honestly do is walk away from her. Be ready to split while saying how much you still love her but can't take how she treats you or acts anymore (still keep open communication such as texts after and try even maybe trying to ask her to dinner a couple times). Ball is in her court and either she tries hard to get you back realizing her issues or else it doesn't happen.

It really sucks but the women here are so very stubborn to admit they have issues (well women in general) and refuse to admit after a year or a few years they change and often stop caring for their partner moving into more of a roommate with occasional benefits situation.

 

My advice is move on, you only have one life and you can't help someone unless they want to help themselves. Whatever you do, it will always be your fault, whatever the outcome.