Hot Logs Found in Ambulance

I keep "logging on" to this site, knowing this thread "wood" be at the top of the unread list because the title says its a "hot" topic. But I'm getting a bit "bushed" with the slap "stick" humor so I will try my best to make like a "tree" and "leave"
Top that!!!

 

Deleted

 

I cedar you are pine-ing for competition. I will have to look in my trunk to get at the root of the joaks made so far. Maybe using text in redwood help me find sycamore ways to keep going. Nope, don't want to cypress my luck any further.

 

As I said to my gf last night "Connie for God's sake, get your chest off my nuts. "Yew put them there", she replied, "so ash me nicely". I did and then she brushed me aside viciously with the palm of her hand. I screamed "You b*tch" (this is a hybrid of a Birch and Beech). Fortunately she did not firmly grab the overused helmet of my horn(beam), as that wood have been unbearable. I told her straight "All year you have asked for a shag(bark hickory) as a birthday gift, but now you will get NO PART of that! And while we are at it, spruce yourself up a bit, you have let yourself go." At that, she cried pitifully. Then, to say sorry, she put her tulips (as in 'tulip tree') around my 'trunk'. I felt like 'popping her cherry (tree)' there and then but she had drained my sap; I was plum out of juice and could flog it to death no more.

And that is a true story.

 

what was her name (Rosewood)

 

That's her came from (Cyprus)

 

I thought I read "hot legs"... sorry

 

Must have been a dying species.

 

I wonder if they were in hot pursuit of the ambulance when they found the hot logs on a hot day. Amazing how many meanings hot has here. Me? I like the hot girls.