This morning started just like most week days, my wife showers first and then me, while she then gets ready for work, I put the kettle on, an Englishman loves his tea. Having enjoyed my morning cereal breakfast I tidied the kitchen then returned to the lounge where my wife was sitting eating her cereal. Looking out the window, she said isn’t our neighbours roof nice! Me being a practical man I replied if it isn’t broke why fix it. Wrong answer! Being accused of giving an aggressive answer, a silence descended upon the room which continued as I then said.....It would be nice had you said those flowers you planted are beautiful, despite the lack of rain during our rare English heatwave. The silence continued all the way, as I drove her to her employment......and then I said to myself "What a wonderful World" oh yeah I see trees of green, red roses too.......
Yes Dear. that's usually the best response to any question. "does this dress make me look fat?" is an exception.
I know what I see. Me being a wise guy and an old softy rolled into one I hold up two fingers at about 1cm apart and tell her I love you this much right now. Just as that look comes upon her face, you know that look, I quickly pull my hand up to my face with one finger above and one below my right eye, run my eye up and down from her head to her toes, raise and lower my eyebrows several times while telling her don't forget, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Tell her in a slightly serious voice "give me a big hug first, after you hug tell her in a pale tone of voice like you were simply measuring, "I can still reach all the way around, we're good", then walk away before she can respond.
