advice for the newbie

hey all,
i have been living in central america the last 4 years, but have grown somewhat restless and have been looking at the philipines for some time. i have a philipina married friend here that suggested i have a female companion/contact when i arrive. so, i started to search. i originally was looking for a gal from 39 to my senior of 56, so i was hesitant when i met a gal 27. we click, period. i find her to be unique in that she has no family nor children. i was reading a thread here about age difference and scammers. started thinking hard about my situation. i am an ex cop, so my radar is always up, but i am human and able to be mislead also. we chat every day and talk on the phone several times a week.
she has never asked for a cent, but i have sent money when i know she needs it as her contract for work finished. we are talking under $200. her rent is due now. i cannot see any deviation from her and have no reason to suspect anything, but still......
any thoughts or suggestions on how to proceed? some of the posts on this forum have me concerned over how cunning some people are, and how gullible some people, including myself when amored with a young beauty, can be. i will be in the country in 6 weeks. thanks.

 

She may be on the level, however - work contract just finished has been known to be a good scam, also the rent coming due ?

You will soon find out when you get here.

If she checks out, great, if not, you have learned something, BUT, do not let that deter you from all the lovely ladies here, they are not all scammers............

 

My mother is sick, can you please send me $199?
Seriously, you might question the "no family" situation. Here in the Philippines, most have very large families and extended families and girls get pregnant easy and often. Not sure what province she is living in but maybe you could get someone near her to check her out for you. She may not be a scammer but here they are not shy to ask for money. Hope it all works out for you.

 

There is an emotional investment

I agree with the quote. Everyday I think I am wise enough not think I can be scanned again, and I am wrong again. I usually make the right decisions, and I do listen to my instincts. But many times the only reason I now make the right decision is because I have made all the wrong ones in the past, and there are not other alternative decisions to make other than the right one. That is enough negative. O-|

This is how I see it. You have made an emotional investment already, "we clicked", which may have even been involuntary. That being said you have to weight how much time, emotion and money you have put into the relationship to date, versus what you have to invest to get good evidence of her intentions upon your arrival here. Do on jump ship without good proof. If you find out you have been scammed then look at it as a learning experience and remember the fantasy moments you experience during your courtship. As a ex-policeman you should know about jumping to conclusions. As an x-business owner I would look at what I have invested to date, and deciding whether I want to get negative, possible even running an forfeit my investment or put a little more into the relationship know whether I made a right or wrong decision. As I see for you, if you can afford an additional payment and half (6 weeks) and you feel she just may be the one then I would keep going, with my eyes wide open. You will know when you meet her pretty quickly how real she is, and how much what she has said in the past aligns with her life, and lifestyle here. Again your policeman experience will help. When I first arrived I thought that many things that filipinas did here rude and crazy, only to find out after some time here they were part of the culture. Be flexible.
When I arrived I feel like a youngter, about 5 years old I had so much to learn about the culture and people. After being here 18 months I now feel like a 6 1/2 year old, so I am growing. Remember if you do not risk your heart (and sometimes your wallet) you will never have the right one. If she is not the right one, do not worry, there will be thousands standing in line to take her place.

Just by asking your question, you have experienced some concerns, slow down and get your evidence. The Philippines is a very slow place.

Good luck to you in finding the right lady.

 

not shy to ask for money. well, not money but other material necessities. i dated a filipina gal once in vancouver with similar traits. perhaps i am just not accustomed to this, but it brought back a very familiar ring. yeah dave, i did the math and surprisingly enough, that is the way i feel. i had the ticket before i met her. carry on. and perhaps i have not reason to be suspisious. i have interigated her in circles. oh she is good. no, i feel she is genuine. we view on a webcam. there are so many definitive facial and body gestures that are dead giveaways when a person is lying. she does pass. so is this the norm for some filipinas to ask without warrant?
well, i have 4 years of rural southern nicaragua life, so i am adaptable and not an A type personality. so, we be excited for the next adventure. will be based out of minglanilla initially, but want to check out somewhere on the ocean near infrastucture, but not in it. i am a beach bum and still surf a bit. the inner islands cannot have much of a surf, oui? cebu?
so, any suggestions on where i(probably we) should check out?

 

You do realize that $200 is equal to about as much as she would earn working a regular job here, in TWO MONTHS? Many girls earn their living here on the internet, in just this way. Once you start sending them money, you lose the advantage of figuring out whether they are in the relationship for you (your good looks and charming personality), or for your money. If you feel you MUST send money, send enough to buy her lunch and pay for internet expenses, like $20, NOT $200. If she sticks it out with you for 6 months then, the relationship MIGHT be worth pursuing.

Larry

Pointman Cebu - Do you have questions or concerns about your Filipina being a scammer?

 

Actually the opposite is true. When you visit be uncommitted, patient and very picky.

 

Alot depends on where and how you met her. You did not say where so I cannot advise further.

 

I think we can assume he met her on the internet ! Which is fine. I met my lovely wife for the first time on the internet.

I had so many to choose from it was amazing, but being a very astute, Kiwi with a very high IQ.............. lol ................. I eventually made an excellent selection.............. lol ................. Well, actually I was very lucky, the lady selected me, and she turned out to be a real gem.:o