I married an orphan....yes, thank you god, I know I'm very lucky, and thanks again god .....and again..... That orphan though - came with a few brothers and sisters...and here is where it gets interesting. The brothers all quit school very early and went for the manual labour life. So be it. But the sisters were a bit brighter and slightly more determined. So we payed for their university/college educations..(which I agreed to support before we got married)....only to watch them instantly morph into baby factories after graduation - and meeting their life-long loves of their lives.....code for....useless Manila deadbeats. OK, that's life in the islands...so what we did is try and supply good educations to the brighter of their offspring....and most of them were in fact - very bright.....those children of sisters and brothers...we got their report cards etc....and there were plenty of course as most Filipino families.....So we paid a large part of their educations...year in..year out... I was skeptical at first....and for quite a long while during the process....but guess what? Last two years we have had some very talented university graduates who are now working (two in Singapore) and THEY are helping out the younger siblings - so our education funding is considerably reduced now. So, it has been a battle, but the light at the end of the tunnel is very bright - and I'm glad to see that these young people have raised themselves from the poverty their family has been so familiar with....and without asking - helping out the rest of the family and their education. Good for them! Big investment on our part for many years.....but it is having a happy ending....
My wife of 15 years isn't an orphan yet, her mother has been in a very bad condition for many years after having a stroke. Some relatives are very poor farmers in Mindanao and others are married to offshore seaman (chief engineer and engineers) and one married to a playboy Frenchman. I was asked for P4,000 one time to save the Mindanao farm operation and one time to bring my wife's mother to Cebu for better care. One time I gave her brother a cheap 2nd. hand china bike that still looks like new after 5 years of use. Around a year or so after I helped save the farm operation they tried to re-pay what I thought was a gift. So I guess my point is, if you get lucky, your lady doesn't absolutely have to be a poor orphan. If the need arises and someone can afford to help out, to educate a young person and give them even a small chance to prove themselves, Imho that's 3 cheers for the one that does.
Dave, I received some negative backlash when I posted some of my ground rules before so rather than posting on the forum I will buy you breakfast at Bambulo and we can discuss the strategy I used and you can see what plays for you. Again, I am fortunate that none of those ground rules were necessary. Cheers
Just to get PatO off the hook so he will be blamelss in the eyes of torrilian, i shall take full responsability for posting PatO's quote: My 2 cents worth..... Dave, get to know her and her family before you get involved Dont go into any relationship "penis first" The head at this command centre is "one eyed" and "short sighted". Speaking from experiemce..., unlike my present blissful, secure and committed relationship, 99% of my past failed relationships were entered.,,,, "penis first". Besides, the one who'll let you in without the ring don't have morals as high as those who won't. If you find a good girl with good morals you are unlikely to get stung cobber. If you keep jumping in looking for quick/easy sex, you'll keep getting women looking for quick/easy money. Patience will reward you with somebody worth waiting for :D Oh, get a country girl from the mountains, the highland girls have higher morals and integrity than the girls down in the city
Most young gals married to the oldsters are just real patient and demand he same from their relatives....party time will come soon enough.
That is one of the most truthful and honest replies I have ever read! Plain yet simple, yet 99% of the time impossible for most men to understand when they only think with the little brain... Sorry but it is true, I am a guy and I know what men are like, just I am glad I am not like my mates... In more than 4 years my Girl has only once asked me for money and that was when her Father was knocked off of his bike by a Car and in Hospital, she asked for only 500P for Rice, I sent more and was roused on for doing so, they sold their Ice Cream Cart and other needed possessions to pay the Medical Bills and when I offered, they refused, her Parents told her that to accept hand outs will make you lazy and it is shameful to do so, it was only when her Daughter fell sick and they had no food did she break down and ask me for the measly 500 pesos which I happily gave after the sob stories I had heard from so many others who had marked me as a soft touch simply because I spoke kindly to them... My girl and her Family are dirt poor, came from a farming background where medical expenses saw them having to sell the Farm and move closer to the City to find work, where the entire Family all work and work hard. I have had other's stereotype her and compare her to their own experiences, but if after more than 4 years my Girl has asked for nothing except that one time, I am positive I have picked a winner so will be taking it up a notch later this year to prepare for her and her Daughter to come here instead of me going there. I have to admit she is the total opposite to so many I have spoken to who many have been very 'street wise city girls' with a whine for every occasion... I am happy to read here the many positive words instead of the gnarly negative words so often spoken by guys who hunt the Bars then wonder why they wake up with fleas... Sleep with dogs what do you expect? :D
Yes i have a REAL good family. Yes think with the big head first, talk about what is expected of you and only agree to what you feel good about, many great soul mates to be found here to love and care for a good man, remember its a trade off why would a lovely young girl want to spend the best years of her life with an old fat fart like me if i had nothing to offer. (plan the dive and dive the plan) CHEERS
I have someone in mind, but have gone through many ladies, who only seem to have one rule: Screw the foreigner, both figuratively and otherwise. If one consistently has that problem, perhaps one should seek the answer within oneself ? and not necessarily the other party
so true stevewatson. you reap what you sow, I keep thinking back to who i may be with if i was back in my home land , omg one with more hang ups than a walk in wardrobe lol . good luck m8 they are out their go find one
