I can also add to the positive examples. I too was up-front w/ my wife before we married and told her that I wasn't the guy to 'save' her family and that I wouldn't be giving them money. She said she was okay w/ that.

Since we've been married (over 5yrs) she has only on a few occasions asked for small sums of money to help them. There were even some occasions where her family needed money and she never said anything. Later I would find out on my own that they were in need. And the amount was so small that I decided to help them out...