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Caring for relatives.....

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Forum' started by Union Jack, Nov 1, 2013.

  1. Larry_H

    Larry_H DI Member

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    You might be right, we'll see. I'll be surprised if it does change. Her family is not rich, but they do not have the mentality of "live for today, tomorrow will take care of itself". They have savings, homes, land, and vehicles. All the kids are college educated and on their own. They don't have any needs that aren't being taken care of.

    It won't change because I won't let it change. I have a budget and I NEVER deviate from it. I have separate savings account for each different type of alternative spending (health care, vacations, vehicles, home repair, etc.) and I will not withdraw money from those accounts except for the purpose of the account. Want to try sympathy to get me to let go? You will find sympathy in the dictionary somewhere between stupid and syphilis.

    If that pisses off her family, then so be it. I don't care.(See signature line)
     
  2. OP
    OP
    Union Jack

    Union Jack DI Forum Adept

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    Hi Larry_H, here is a short list of reasons for financial demands one may get over the years...some of them are genuine, others are just baloney, some others are simply a scam. I would be interested to hear others' experiences so to add to the list and also how they dealt with the issue. I got sucked in one or two of them but as we say from my part of the world... I'm just like a match, only got burnt once... or twice ;-))

    * School fees
    * Exam fees
    * College Diploma/Certificate release fees
    * Medical/Medicine fees
    * Running for Barrio Captain's councilor fee
    * Birthdays/Fiesta events
    * Repairs to buildings
    * Starting own business
    * Paying debts
    * Presenting fake receipts
    * Presenting grossly inflated receipts
    * Using material bought for a different purpose to the original
    * Selling back part of the material bought
    * Selling back presents
    * Document/Visa fees
    * Agency fees
    * Asking remuneration for work never carried out
    * Demanding to keep tools after work completion
    * Demanding compensation to leave lot or house after living there rent free
    * Expecting to be authorized to profit from relative's property
    * Declaring only a fraction of the profit gained by managing a relative's property, then pocketing the difference
    * Investment in "lucrative" ventures such as gold mining, precious stones....

    I might have forgotten a few but the above listed are the most common.
     
  3. Manzanita

    Manzanita DI Forum Patron

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    The best quote on this topic I've ever heard, bar none.....

    "They were fine before I came, they'll be fine without my help"

    Because the more you give them, the more they'll want, need and ask for.
     
  4. OP
    OP
    Union Jack

    Union Jack DI Forum Adept

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    Good one Manzanita, only thing is that before you came into the picture, they used to milk the "lucky" relative working abroad and now you are to them just one more cow to milk...;-))
     
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  5. Manzanita

    Manzanita DI Forum Patron

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    Mooooooooooooo!
     
  6. Larry_H

    Larry_H DI Member

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    I don't borrow. I don't lend. I give gifts to those I love or care about for birthdays. I have a budget for local charity and that is saved for all year and doled out once a year. (Our local charity contribution will be the Christmas Project that is been mentiond on this board). I believe in many things, so I don't just fall for anything. I am neither a sucker nor a soft touch. Both my parents were born in Missouri. The state motto there is "Show Me". I grew up with that motto as that is what my parents said to me anytime I ask for something and then gave a reason. Old habits are hard to break. I live by that today. I'm not a cheapskate, but I am frugal and live by a defined budget and nothing in my life has made me change that. Being married to a Filipina hasn't changed that, living in the Phils won't change that. Mom was a CPA and Dad was an Aerospace Engineer. You can imagine the precision and accuracy that our actions and decisions were held to as children. Standards, rules, and logic are never deviated from; unfortunately for those that have an eye on my wallet.

    My ex-gf (a Filipina), her father wanted to "borrow" some money from me. I told him I didn't have it (not true), but I would put some savings in my budget every month for him. I told him that I would have that saved up for him in about 14 months. That he should contact me then. Hmmmm....:confused:
     
  7. Larry_H

    Larry_H DI Member

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    My wife's exact words!
     
  8. OP
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    Union Jack

    Union Jack DI Forum Adept

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    love it...love it.....:wink:
     
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