Cebu Thinking of moving to Cebu.....

Really I do NOT GET the women here in Dumaguete.

First, hard to find ones in my ideal age range that don't have several dependents or are married/separated (no no)

Second, the young ones, too young for my old a**, seem to just want to text, which tells me they are not really interested. I am usually told I am handsome and I don't have a beer gut, but I think I am too direct or maybe AWARE for many Filipinas (how long have you been in the P.I.?)

Rest are too shy, too embarrassed by foreigners company.

I would consider even a part time or full time h**ker, IF she was honest, I am not proud and don't really hold that against them, except they would have to have certain tests before I got serious ;-) No shabu addicts please.

I don't go to bars, I don't approach strange women working at their jobs, I don't go to church as I am not religious.
I don't speak Cebuano so that limits my selection among English speaking women.

Oh yes, I am NOT rich apparently because I don't own my own big house and car-I choose not to spend money on those things.
Funny they ask the same questions as in the west, trying to determine how rich you are.

Any novel ideas most appreciated. I can always pay for company, but it would be nice to actually have some real feelings in the mix?
Oh yeah disclaimer for any flamers, no interest in ladyboys, thanks.

 

Why to Cebu, man? Looking for a girl from a bigger city? Try Iloilo. Girls there seemed to me more mature, independent and not so provincial.

 

You will need more than just a disclaimer. the flamers are extremely aggressive in Cebu.

I would choose a different place to move to than Cebu if I was looking for a good woman, or just start traveling about this island on your own, maybe on a motorcycle. You seem to have limited social contact with ladies, which will makes it difficult to meet a good one, or anyone.

 

Unkonven, I think the paid profesional reference you made was a sign of frustration and that will be my only comment on that.

I do have a few suggestions. I think you should just look for a friend, preferably a woman, they like to meddle and eventually she will find someone, to fix you up with, it seems to work the same anywhere, networking. I found my special someone online, the method can work, if you are selective and in no hurry. I think a change of venue may not be a bad thing if it really makes you more satisfied, otherwise I would not pull up roots and start over.

 

Wow, out of all the complaints about the Dum i've ever read on this forum for years, being unable to find pleasing female companionship has never been one of them! I'm surprised, a bit baffled -- as we say, ya can't swing a dead cat around ya without hitting a comely, smiling, curvy and available "gentle lady" here..... It's a good thing polygamy isn't allowed, or i'd be REALLY broke!

 

I believe that your description covers a great many of the women I saw in Dumaguete. I would ask you this though, how many are intelligent, trustworthy and can hold a good conversation? Sometimes a good bedmate is not enough. We have not yet established what age range of women that Unkonven is looking in. I suspect it is in the 30+ range where if you are looking for NBM and no kids, it can be a problem. If the women that Unkonven is seeing aren't striking him enough to walk up and start asking outright for phone numbers, maybe he should go somewhere else, I dunno. If I didn't already have mine picked out, that nice lady at the Robinsons mall who tried to sell me the massage chair would be high on my list. Of course I didn't speak to a great many women in Dumaguete because finacees frown on that sort of thing and she hardly let me out of her sight.

 

A book worth reading

Hmmm I always figured that if someone walks up to me and started asking outright for phone numbers, she probably also do that to another man an 1/2 hour before me and probably 1/2 hour after she finishes her conversation with me she will do it with another man. The same goes for the "good girl" who sleeps with you the first night. That has probably not been the first time she has ever done that with a man, not matter how many times she tells you the story, her actions say differently.

A very interesting book on the Filipinas is "A Man's guide to Life and Love in the Philippines" by Larrry Elterman. I was told he lives in Dumaguete but do not know that as a fact. The books is interesting in that it divides the woman up into ten categories from "young. Smart, Ambitious" to "Very conservative older Virgin". It describes the characteristic, habits and goals of each. It also divides us men into 6 categories from "No to Expatriatism" to the "Drinker". He then pairs each group and tell you what your may expect. He writes in a humorous mood, and tell all the interesting cultural information about the Philippines. I can highly recommend it for research reading, particularly the part defining the men, as it makes you think about what your are and what goals you may have and helps you find your own hidden agendas for life and love.

 

You have to get a foot in the door somewhere. I did suppose that some slight bit of charm would be used in asking for the phone number, such as I really wanted to meet you but there was nobody to make the introduction, may I text you sometime. Someone might even smile while they are saying this. I did not intend my words to be the exact step by step instructions of someone writing a service manual. Whatever.

I have read thousands upon thousands of books, some of them self help or whatever you would like to call them, books. I never did find an answer in any of them that actually fit any of the situations I encountered in the real world, but some of them were an entertaining waste of time. I'm not absolutely certain that that is what is needed here.

In my philosophy, if what you are doing is not getting results, try something different that could work, all you have to lose in this case would be lonliness. I know, crazy talk! I do that sometimes.:D

 

From what I have seen any foreigners wife / gf will go out of there way to set you up with whatever you are looking for. The key is to be honest with them about what you want upfront to avoid poor setups. Tell her strictly zero kids, age range, skinny etc... so that instead of her setting you up with her sister, she will search out that 3rd cousin of hers that matches the description - they will still be very happy to be the match maker.

I find most women in Dumaguete automatically assume you are already married as there are not a tonne of single guys here (who are not wh*re mongers at WhyNot, Pirate Cove etc...) so that makes it difficult.

This might be a generalization, but I think if you are looking for mid 20's without kids you should try women who have a job, such as the teller at BDO. My rationale is that women with a decent paying job are the breadwinners and supporting their parents and little siblings schooling etc.. so they have lots of pressure on them not to get knocked up by a trike driver and loose the salary.

Also, shift your daily routine to shops that dont often see alot of foreigners, such as doing grocery at Cangs instead of hypermart the just smile.

 

Gotta agree with that one. I just showed up here one day in December and got more dates than I thought possible, all from cute, eligible college age girls. I'm just an average old cuss, nearly 60, and yet I 'settled' for a beautiful 18 yr old nympho who took a liking to me. Life is good here. Better than Cebu in fact because Cebu seems to have a lot of girls who expect to get a monetary gift when they date you whereas in Duma they seem to be looking more for a relationship.

My opinion would be to choose Cebu for multiple partners or Duma if you are looking for long term. Just MHO