Can't fix stupid?
What I have noticed is that many (not all, of course) of the guys coming here looking for a wife are complete social rejects in the West that no woman from their own country would waste more than 5 minutes with...with many of these guys seeming to not have had any positive attention from the opposite sex in decades (I'm guessing their mothers weren't too loving). Extremely low self-esteem, domestic abuse, prone to violence, fidelity and jealously issues seems to be a very common problem with these types. Coming to a country where their poverty level income (usually from a disability/retirement/online porn website check from the West) ensures that they get the attention their mothers never gave them only encourages these types to do everything they can to remain in the country, which leads to the easiest solution to stay in country...marriage. These losers benefit just as much as opportunistic Filipinas do from the no divorce rule in the country. A foot in the door to their own perceived paradise.
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- Thread: Covid-19 Opinion
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- Thread: Hospitals in Dumaguete
Notmyrealname DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer
Certainly Filipino nurses and carers are highly rated for compassion and work ethic. It is their culture to respect the elderly and so do not have the negative attitudes staff have from some other countries. They work abroad to care for themselves and their families at home and so do not look to avoid doing the job they are employed for - again unlike some other nationals.
I recently had a blood test in the Philippines and the Filipina nurse was incredibly good, both in manner and in competence. Once I had blood taken by a nurse in my own country and I was in great pain and almost asked her to stop after she had made about 8 STABS (no more appropriate word!) at a very prominent vein. I was left bruised and shaken. This Filipina nurse was totally the opposite and had I had my eyes closed I would not even have been aware of the procedure.
But in many countries they do have to undergo further training before starting the job.-
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grandpainak DI Forum Patron Showcase Reviewer
I took the wife there tonight, (Her birthday). On the advise of other posters, I ordered the Spaghetti Carbonara with ribs.
I am a fan of Spaghetti Carbonara. This Spaghetti Carbonara with ribs has to be the best I have ever tried. The birthday girl had Spaghetti and salmon pizza. She reported it being very good.
I found the bill to be quite reasonable and there is no doubt we will be back.
Two thumbs up for this Restaurant.-
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- Thread: Supporting Your SO
Maybe we could look at it from a different angle: We shouldn't forget that these men are adults with agency. They have made a decision, one that is in line with cultural expectations in their host country and is not uncommon among locals, to support their spouse and extended family. I'm almost certain that the reasons behind such a decision vary greatly between individuals.
Some likely do so because they have had past trauma in their life and have grown into a less than perfect adult (as we all are) with huge insecurities about desertion and trust and do it out of fear of losing their spouse.
Some likely do it because they truly love their spouse and want them and their family to prosper and be comfortable.
There could also be some with malicious intent that are actually the predators in this situation (not the spouse's family).
There are many who mutually benefit from such an arrangement. Say a foreigner is ill and needs to be taken care of. The family takes care of the foreigner while the foreigner takes care of the family. Quid pro quo.
There are a thousand other reasons why a man may choose to support their spouse's extended family. Is it admirable? Well IMO, that really depends on the intent and that is something that can only be known by looking at each case individually. Regardless, if nobody is being harmed I see no issue with it and I wouldn't look down on anyone just for having such an arrangement.
Additionally, from what I have personally seen there are very few foreigners that are being taken advantage of by the locals. Most of the time both parties are gaining from the relationship in some way (which is completely normal for relationships) or, which I see quite often, it is the opposite way around: Mentally unstable men controlling local women to an abusive level.
These type of men eventually get burned at their own game, but many times this is just a local doing what needs to be done to escape a relationship that they are, very frequently, financially held hostage to. I've heard countless sob stories from both the foreigner and Filipino viewpoint. Both parties almost always share some blame in the breakup but I tend to side with the Filipina who comes from a life of poverty, poor education and lack of opportunity. The foreigner knows better, knows how to reach out and knows how to get help for their mental issues. Their mental illness is in no way a defense for their cruelty.-
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- Thread: Lord Byron's Ribs
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- Thread: getaway from Duma
Notmyrealname DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer
Interesting that there is such a huge difference in first-hand experience between @mrossbach and @DavyL200 for the same resort.
So I looked at tripadvisor and found the same disparity: Excellent 24%, Very Good 23%, Average 17%, Poor 15%, Terrible 21%. A few of the 'Excellents' were more recent but many were 2016 and before, which is where most of the 'Terrible' comments are from.
One 'Terrible' comment was based solely on dining there and I found it very off-putting to read how him and his wife were treated.
I suppose if a resort has 53% average or below ratings then it is best to avoid until it proves itself with significantly better ratings. A pity, as its location looks very good.-
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