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EDIT: Post Header should say Four Year Stroke Update
I post periodic updates on my stroke recovery to offer a heads up on hopeful prevention and warning signs for others to ponder.
To repeat earlier updates, you should have your blood pressure checked regularly as well as your cholesterol level. If you feel stressed, headaches, dizziness, or numbness in your arms or legs, do not ignore those signs like I did.
So four years later it appears like I have recovered about all that is probable (but I tell myself not impossible to get better). I am about 2/3 the man I used to be; paralysis in the right arm and leg and numbness in the left arm and leg. I have had to learn to be one-handed left-handed. My balance and control is about half normal and I had to learn how to walk again, with assistance. I require a driver and need him by my side while walking (not nearly a normal walk). I need a cane for steps and getting up.
The good news is last month we celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and this Thursday is my son's 6th birthday party. I feel blessed to be alive and able to participate. I am also blessed to have a great wife to take care of me and an extended family to look after me. I am able to go to the gym 5 times a week and walk the harbor walkway.
Other than coffee and talking with guys at Sans Rival at the mall, I am a home body and happy to help my boy with his homework and my wife with her college studies.p, and watch sports.
Once again I will close by saying take care, having a stroke has a catastrophic impact on your life, if you survive it.

 

One thing I often hear from expats with gf/wife at the same age is, that if you have a younger gf/wife with a gap in age it's more a kind of business deal. When I was young some years ago, I believe that it's possible to live of love and spring water. Over the years life learn me be more realistic and no matter of gap in age or where ever you live in the world, relation is about what did I get in return of what I give, only a few people ( I know a few and seen some) want nothing in return for what the give/invest in relation. Personally I enjoy having a young gf, it keep me young too lol. I believe in love no matter of age and cultural background it just makes it more eventful and fun, that said no all people fit together and the challenge is finding the right one for you, don't compromise go for the gold, good luck to the guy who started this topic, Philippines is rich of beautiful girls who want an expat bf/husband and the treat you in a way you feel like heaven compared with the west

 

I don't know how many threads in how many forums I did read over the years, where people are mentioning, and complaining, about dogs, Karaoke, roosters,corruption
and Pinoy behavior and manners in general.

Nothing has changed and nothing will change.

Neither you can deal and live with all of this issues, or you can't.

If you can you can live in a third world country with all its advantages and disadvantages. Noisy environment, corruption, murder and a non working legal system will be part of your life, as well as warm weather, beautiful young girls, and a lifestyle most of you probably couldn't afford in your home country.

If you can't deal with the circumstances of life here, it would be better to leave. Better for you, better for your neighbors, better for everybody.

If you try to change things here, you will be constantly disappointed and frustrated. And non successful. And maybe some day you will be a victim of shooting or stabbing.

In my opinion the Philippines are far away from being a dream country. It's just a place where you can manage your life. Or not.

 

It is good to read postings from people with empathy - I think those who have it, know it and those who have none are unaware.

I do not wish to discuss this particular case as I know nothing more than what is posted here but I think (and this will not be a popular comment with some guys) that in some cases of dispute between a man and a woman, the woman can feel very powerless and so strikes out with something that is more powerful than the man (be it a knife, gun etc.). If we think of women from poor situations who lives are lifted up financially by meeting a foreigner and then see that ebbing away from them (perhaps very suddenly), with thoughts of going back to what they had, perhaps having to face the scorn of their families, then it is not impossible to see where anger and frustration flows from. And add to that the very powerful emotion of love and it can end in an explosion. Something we all need to think about, especially if ever a difficulty arises in our own personal relationships.

 

Not sure if you have so many 'Likes' Dave because you said you are leaving or the other content!

But you have done wonders - which most of us could not even start on. You built a house here without previous experience (although I know you are a very good craftsman in general and quite a perfectionist) and tackled every problem by research and deep thinking. You have developed methods which the rest of us have learned from.

You have experienced the problems of working with locals who, mostly through no fault of their own, have not had opportunities to develop the necessary skills. As you have pointed out, cheap rates of pay are illusory when you add in the time factor and the need for remedial work (perhaps costing in new materials as well as further labour).

Now you made a decision based on the best needs of your family here - to be able to provide for them but from a distance. A brave decision to make and one which can be done only by a person who really cares. Anyone who knows you has not the slightest doubt about your devotion to your son - this is the case, I must add, with many other expats parents (I won't name the ones I know of as it would seem I am excluding others - but you all know who you are). I often reflect on what expats bring to this country and how the government really has not grasped it in its underlying dislike of foreigners. Perhaps things will change.

A pity you are going as your advice to house builders here would be very valuable - but you have offered to give advice to anyone who contacts you and I hope people take you up on that as you are a goldmine of information and technique.

For anyone thinking the same way, you all know almost everything in life is reversible and so over time it is fine to change the mind and come back. I am sure the RT in Valencia would be pleased to have your money (oops! I forgot that you are a Scotsman - but that is a joke as one thing I know about you very well is your generosity). You are always so willing to spend time giving advice, offering direct help and providing things people need - this is done without hesitation.

So, whatever you do in the future is obviously the best decision you made - as you are a thinker - and so we all wish you the best. You will be a loss but fortunately that marvellous creation - the internet - means you will always be in touch.