Best Posts in Forum: Off-Topic Forum

Holy Cow! You guys can be funny!

My best friend became my life partner and he was quite a bit older than me when we married.

We spent 29 years together and he was the best mate ever.

Although I had wished from time to time that we were closer in age, it was a wish for us to have more good years together.

Looking back, I've no regrets as we had a wonderful relationship. I'd rather have had 10 wonderful years than 40 years of hell.

I know some women/men may only be looking for that "Sugar Daddy/Momma" thing, but my mate wasn't one of those (nor was I) -- and I know we chose each other for all the good and life-long reasons.

I guess it all depends on what life presents to you, what you value, and all the rest of it. But I think it's possible to have a good relationship with a mate that is older/younger than you.

V/R,
nwlivewire

 

As a child I was fortunate to be the youngest of four and the only boy. While I grew up my sister one by one left home.
However as their clothes were dresses I never had to wear the hand-me downs!
Climbing trees, fishing in the ditches with a net and jam jar catching tiddlers, my childhood was a happy one.
My schooling was basic but I managed to survive the authoriterian teachers and during my teenage years I never knew what it was like not to have employment.
In my twenty's my first marriage gave me the responsibility I needed to settle down and life has always been a learning curve.
Growing up in the 50/60's was the best time in my life and the memories remain.

 

I don't think anything in the Philippines regarding immigration (or most other official things requiring paperwork) needs to be made more complicated than it already is.
As the old saying goes be careful what you wish for....

 

Here, Here.

Requiring bank statements and police background checks for a visa extension would greatly reduce the number of social rejects. Many countries require this after about 3 or 4 months.

 

So you are saying, as I have read many times elsewhere, that it is the family who raise you that bears more value than those who created you?

If I am not in error of understanding you had a incredible adoptive family, I can compare that with being born into a family of 5 children and having a physically and mentally abusive father. Our ages (me and siblings) now total over 370 years but we still all suffer the scars, as did my mother from age 19 to her death at 73. Nothing beats a caring family, whoever the parents are.

 

There is usually no single way, but it depends on the level of anxiety. Someone facing an exam or a job interview usually suffers anxiety and that is NORMAL IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. That would tend to fade away and the person does not think about it again. BUT, if the person experiences anxiety in many other situations, especially ones where most people do not, then that person has learned something that is normal (i.e. low-level anxiety in certain situations IS normal) but is applying it in a way that is not helpful. The person just has WRONG LEARNING - that person is not crazy. And there is no point listening to people who say "just pull yourself together" as those people would not say that to a person with a broken arm and so they have stigmatised psychological issues - their opinion on the subject is ill-informed thus pointless and worthless.

The person with this wrong learning needs to correct it. The first step would be to learn how to relax (as relaxation is the opposite of anxiety) and there is much on the internet about that. IMO the process should initially be one of muscle relaxation and when that is achieved to bring in correct breathing (especially to stop chest breathing and learn to replace it with abdominal breathing) and then visualisations (being able to imagine a scene where the person feels very happy and relaxed) and mindfulness (focusing on the moment to stop distracting thoughts). This can then be combined with anchoring (where just pressing the forefinger and thumb together becomes associated with relaxation) and that can then be used in stressful situations (best if it can be done during the apprehensive stage and before the anxiety becomes panic).

The process of facing anxieties is something a person would then do - but I am not a fan of strong exposure therapy (this is called 'flooding' and is where the person is persuaded to face the anxieties full on) but of a more gradual approach. IMO, it is better to take months to start to feel better than to rush it and go backwards.

All of this requires effort - but then, sportspersons work long hours day after day, week after week, month after month in gruelling repetitive exercises and sometimes just to win a medal. A person with a physical disability may have to carry out daily exercises, sometimes painfully, and has to accept it and do the best possible. So a person with wrong learning may need to put much effort into correcting it (even if not 100% then any progress is a success) and there are books available and resources on the internet. As with any learning system, there are different approaches and it is best to read about them and find what most suits the individual - IMO, that means being comfortable with the ideas and pacing it to suit. There is NO magic bullet (there rarely is for anything) and trying to find it just postpones facing the situation and correcting the wrong learning. Facing anything that causes suffering is not easy, but the long-term rewards are usually worth it.

One of the big factors is to learn to ACCEPT the feelings - they were not asked for but they exist - and not fight them. Acceptance is really the key but usually needs a bit of effort initially to minimise some of the more distressing aspects of anxiety conditions.

Medications can be used in small amounts to help with the initial stages but this requires medical advice and prescription - over-use is not only dangerous but is just avoiding making the effort as described above and is a bit like a parent doing a child's homework (it solves the problem but the child learns nothing).

 

Animals have distribution ranges. So the birds and insects you see in the Philippines will not be the same as species found in other countries and vice versa.

Parrots for example, are common and very diverse in Australia, New Guinea and South America, but are less so in other regions. The Philippines has one endemic species of cockatoo - the Katala, which is sadly critically endangered. But it is restricted to mountainous areas.

A few species are rare, endangered, or extinct because of human encroachment on habitats or overhunting - like Philippine eagles and hornbills. Others simply can't survive in cities, which are usually infested with sparrows which they can't compete with. Others simply don't live in or have never been common in the Philippines, like seagulls which don't really exist in most tropical islands.

But rest assured, there are plenty of birds once you get to the countryside. You just have to know where to look. In my province, these birds are common near towns and villages:

• Sparrows - nuff said.
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• Cave swiftlets - at least two species. They're the birds that are the source of bird's nest soup. Called balinsasayaw ("tumbling dancer") locally, they can be quite beautiful to watch swooping and gliding about.
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• Chestnut munia - called maya locally. They look like red and black sparrows and are very common in ricefields.
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• Olive backed sunbird - very tiny birds with brown, yellow, and blue coloration. They are common visitors of flowers. They drink nectar and are very similar to American hummingbirds (they can also hover mid-air and fly backwards).
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• Kingfishers - various kinds. My favorite to watch because they are a brilliant blue. Common near streams and ricefields.
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• Brahminy kite - Often seen soaring above farmlands and bodies of water.
  
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• Zebra dove - A gray and brown pigeon that blends perfectly with the ground. They have a distinctive coo-ing sound.
  
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• Philippine pied fantail - again one of my favorites. They are commonly seen flashing their black and white fan-shaped tails to each other near meadows and farmlands. We call them sayaw (literally "dancer").
  
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• Rails - usually called tikling. Common in ricefields and marshes.
  
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• Pipit - smaller than rails, but similar in behavior. Also common in ricefields.
  
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• Cattle egrets - commonly seen on cattle and water buffaloes.
  
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As for uncommon birds I've only seen a few times, they include ravens, crows, and several species of owls. Also note that chickens (more accurately - the red junglefowl) are native to and were first domesticated in Southeast Asia and the Indian subcontinent, which is why chickens here are usually far more colorful than your average European chicken.

 

14 years into retirement I think about working only in occasional nightmares. After years of anticipating being put out to stud, this is living a dream.

 

The Brexit negotiations under May were not going anywhere - certainly not to the UK's benefit. The electorate (i.e. those who voted) voted for Brexit and so elected the Tories, under a firm Brexiteer, to get it done. I have voted Labour most of my life (with a few periods of forlorn hope in the LibDems) but I recognise they would have either reneged on the Brexit vote or kept us as vassals of the EU. People in the UK are fed up with people legally trying to gain residency being refused, after spending thousands of pounds on Visa (and sometimes legal) fees, but thousands illegally entering and being aided by the State. Boris is no longer important to Brexit but Labour is currently unelectable because people know they will open the gates and send out the rescue boats en masse to assist illegal immigration. With a small country, housing insufficient for the current population, schools having students with a dozen different languages and essential services far less accessible than 50 years ago, people will not vote for any government which fails to introduce and enforce a system whereby the country gets the immigration it needs and through legal channels.