Where's the humor on here?

Pick you team!

 

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:
There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his granddaughter.
One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.
"Not really, Pop Pop, it was boring. We didn't see a single *sshole, piece of sh*t, horse's @ss, socialist left wing, blind b@st@rd, dip sh*t, Muslim camel humper, pecker head or son of a b*tch anywhere we went. We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn't have any fun."

 

Jealousy, anger and drama... part of the culture here:

.....................Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. Husband says: "Hi Darling, Your parents have come to visit us, so let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you said Hello to them"

 

@DavyL200 Davy I was going to do this on your Thread but thought better of it as your Quest I think, is Monumental.

The 24 foot Ladder.

I hadn't realized that bamboo the right thickness came in that sort of Length But seems like Noreco Found one

I daresay you will not be doing any Electrical s So I guess you are Practicing for this years Bugsalan

KIDDING

JP

 

If you are offended by the potential nudity, can not take a joke or are pissed because the DIF logo whipped out some of the words (what the hell are you looking at the words for anyway, the difficult to read words are a great excuse to the GF or wife as to why you have to stare at the picture so long to understand the joke ) then....... that is life.

(it says "I am an 18 year old girl from Arkansas {fill in your own favorite place} and I am still a virgin. Do you think my brothers are gay?"

 

At the Naval Test Center several AF F15’s stopped in and were RON one weekend. Naturally the AF pilots were invited by several of the pilots at Strike to enjoy an evening of attitude adjustment at the Belvedere across from the base main gate.
As it happens when fighter pilots from opposing services get together, after a few brews went down the conversation shifted to the relative advantages of the F15’s and the F14’s being currently tested at Strike.

As nobody could agree on a winner, a friendly challenge was issued by the Navy to the Air Force for a friendly “competition” to be settled the next morning. The plan was offered that 2 Tomcats would meet 1v1 at 26 thousand feet with the 2 F15’s head to head to settle the argument.

The Navy version for what then ensued is presented here:
“ You can’t trust Air Force fighter pilots. They lie! They have no sense of fair play and they all cheat. They have no morals and they are all of bad and corrupt character.
Don’t you know the next morning when we showed up in the restricted ACM area to settle the issue with these clowns, instead of showing up at 26 thousand as per the mutually agreed upon rules of engagement, those cheating bastards showed up at 30 thousand.

~ And if we hadn’t been at 36 they would have kicked our @ss !”

 

The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon:
"I have some good news and, I have some bad news”

The tycoon replies: "I’ve had an awful day, let's hear the good news first”.

The lawyer says:
“Your wife invested £5,000 in two pictures today and she figures they are
worth a minimum of £2 million”.

The tycoon replies enthusiastically:
“Well done, very good news indeed! You've just made my day;
Now what’s the bad news?”

The lawyer answers:
“The pictures are of you shagging your secretary”.