Where's the humor on here?

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping just short of the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this inconvenience. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally I assumed you had stolen the car."

 

CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...

·Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.

·Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

·Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.

·Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

·Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

·Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

·Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

·War does not determine who is right; it determines who is left.

·Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

·It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.

·Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

·Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

·Wise man not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room.

·Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

·Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

 

[DOUBLEPOST=1430089118,1430089081][/DOUBLEPOST]"""COOL""""

 

Sntmig, thanks for the morning funnies. Me thinks sntmig might be living up to his name. In the immortal words of Kris Kristofferson, “And the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad, so I had one more for dessert.”

 

Confucius say girl who fly plane upside down have crack up

 

Man who lives with flat chested lady, has right to feel low....

 

Hey, I know that guy, his name is- Wan Hung Lo

 

Porn? where was porn mentioned ?.....I think you are breathing too much air in Stan, near where they are harvesting the Opium Poppy me thinks.

Anway, at least our Prime Minister does not work in an oval office and have young Monicas kneel before him on command.........lol.........