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Spoiler: Text

Read this without laughing;

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in
the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this
without a snigger,
though God knows after how many takes.

The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too much
for the whining herds. Try getting through it
without converting the spoonerisms as you
read.........

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly
isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a
marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard
frubbing sloors, emptying posspits, and
shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she
was knucking fackered. The sugly isters wereright bugly astards..
One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty
Swallocks; they were really forrible
huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty
swannies.

The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her
gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was
Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking
fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite
wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six
dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and
dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella
to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would
be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the
prandsome hince when suddenly the clock
struck twelve "Mist all chucking
frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out
tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping herslass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince
knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters
let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her
leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust
jarted?" asked the prandsome hince."Blame
that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he
tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters
without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and
gave the prandsome hince a knack in the
kickers. This was not difficult as he had
bucking fuge halls and
a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on
Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were
married. The pransome hince lived his life in
lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers witha follen swanny!