Dumaguete Info Search


Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

    Messages:
    9,092
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    Happily Retired
    Location:
    Northern Junob, Dumaguete City
    Ratings:
    +5,231 / 1,090
    Do you want to buy one.? :biggrin: 16 and will come with all the trimmings, Attitude and presumption of knowing it all.

    JP :bag:
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  2. nwlivewire

    nwlivewire DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Army Navy

    Messages:
    707
    Trophy Points:
    196
    Occupation:
    RETIRED
    Ratings:
    +715 / 91
    Blood Type:
    A+
    HAHAHA

    Too funny!

    Yep. Those teen-age years are a time, huh.

    No worries Dad.

    I bet she's going to turn out GREAT.

    But meanwhile, you will get a few more grey hairs.

    Your family is the better for having you in their lives - being an active parent is a very loving and selfless thing to be.

    Thanks for the offer - but I "did my time" with raising a Son. I finally have time for me now that he is grown - My Son married a "ready-made" family with three girls. He is the apple of their eyes and surrounded with estrogen. hahaha

    Your time is coming again soon.

    V/R,
    nwlivewire
     
  3. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

    Messages:
    13,106
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    FIRE
    Location:
    Valencia
    Ratings:
    +16,069 / 3,796
    Blood Type:
    O+
    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Show Pony

    Show Pony DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

    Messages:
    1,578
    Trophy Points:
    371
    Ratings:
    +2,423 / 1,265
    Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.

    He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.

    After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?'

    His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.

    Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the milkman wants to buy Mom
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 1
  5. DavyL200

    DavyL200 DI Forum Luminary ★ Global Mod ★ ★ Moderator ★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

    Messages:
    3,968
    Trophy Points:
    401
    Location:
    On an island
    Ratings:
    +5,126 / 466
    image.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
  6. nwlivewire

    nwlivewire DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Army Navy

    Messages:
    707
    Trophy Points:
    196
    Occupation:
    RETIRED
    Ratings:
    +715 / 91
    Blood Type:
    A+
    Be careful not to baptize your cat - no matter how religious she professes to be!
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. nwlivewire

    nwlivewire DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Army Navy

    Messages:
    707
    Trophy Points:
    196
    Occupation:
    RETIRED
    Ratings:
    +715 / 91
    Blood Type:
    A+

    Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

    Woman: Oh, I see.

    Officer: Can I see your license please?

    Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

    Officer: Don't have one?

    Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

    Woman: I can't do that.

    Officer: Why not?

    Woman: I stole this car.

    Officer: Stole it?

    Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

    Officer: You what?

    Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

    The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up.

    Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

    Woman: Is there a problem sir?

    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

    Woman: Murdered the owner?

    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

    Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned.

    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

    The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

    Woman: Betcha the lying b@st@rd told you I was speeding too.
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 3
  8. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

    Messages:
    9,092
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    Happily Retired
    Location:
    Northern Junob, Dumaguete City
    Ratings:
    +5,231 / 1,090
    http://www.google.com/public/style_emoticons/default/hystery.gif Now I wonder where you are getting the life history of my Ex Wife from or is DAT U Honey?

    JP :pompus:
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  9. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

    Messages:
    13,106
    Trophy Points:
    451
    Occupation:
    FIRE
    Location:
    Valencia
    Ratings:
    +16,069 / 3,796
    Blood Type:
    O+
    11737839_10153773278031840_3324864644578316682_n.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 2
  10. nwlivewire

    nwlivewire DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Army Navy

    Messages:
    707
    Trophy Points:
    196
    Occupation:
    RETIRED
    Ratings:
    +715 / 91
    Blood Type:
    A+
    And she who waits for Prince Charming will end up cleaning after his horse!

    Be careful what you wish for....
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Loading...