Where's the humor on here?

Not here in the PI, there would be a man and a bucket Hmmmmmmmm maybe a whole family just waiting and catching. Everything here has a price.


I Kid you not

JP

 

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction.

The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man. The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned ‘This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform for as long as you want."

The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition. We could end up with a dangling participle.
[DOUBLEPOST=1437521049,1437520974][/DOUBLEPOST]Canadians caught stealing American Netflix to be punished with 3-year Bell contract
Friday, 05 June 2015 21:10 Written by David Horrowitz

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Photo from: Flickr.com/flashpro cc-by-2.0.

OTTAWA -- At the Canadian Telecom Summit on Friday, the CRTC announced new laws that will punish Canadians illegally accessing American Netflix with a restrictive 3-year Bell TV+Internet+Home Phone bundle package.

When asked how this contract will punish abusers, a representative of the CRTC explained, “Now Canadians who use VPNs to break copyright laws will suffer Bell’s spotty internet quality, the uselessness of having a home phone in the cell phone era and the hundreds of unwatched channels included with a classic television bundle package.”

In a test application of the law, a Pembroke man was given the choice between taking the bundled package and jail time.

“The prosecution gave me the option of a 3-year contract with Bell or 60 days in jail. In the end, I chose the 3-year contract.” said the man.

“Twenty days in and I’m already starting to regret my decision,” he added as he flipped through several separate channels showing Cake Boss.

The new laws may still be evolving. An anonymous source at the CRTC has suggested that repeat offenders could face a forced subscription to Bell’s online streaming service, Crave TV.

 

Coming from a hunting family, I just had to chuckle....

Taken from The New Yorker....

 

One hot summer day, a blonde tied her dog in the shade of a tree and headed into a restaurant. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?

The blonde said it was hers.

'Your dog seems to be in heat,' the officer said.

The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.

The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.

'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning.

The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!

The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog!

 

Mary, a shy virgin was discussing her worries about her up-coming marriage to Paddy, with the parish priest.

“He dropped his trousers last night Father, he has a thing between his legs that I never saw the likes of before.”

“Sure that’s only his penis Mary.”

...
“But father there’s a purple knob on it.”

“That’s just the head of the penis Mary.”

“Yeah, but then Father, about 16 inches back from the purple knob there’s two big round things. What are they Father?”

“Well for your sake Mary,

I hope they’re the cheeks of his arse!!..