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Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. robert k

    robert k DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Veteran Army

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    I had a GF who was interested in learning to drive and I was in the conversational/instruction stage and I was explaining that the fewer stupid things you do, the more comfortable you feel. Well, I evidently had a VIF very important Filipino behind me one day in stop and go traffic and without even looking to see if there was someplace to get back into the lane going our direction he pulled out into the opposing traffic lane and as an example I told her I'm not going to let him back in (normally I would) and the twenty cars behind us didn't let him back in either until someone finally did. he was stuck out there for about 3 minutes, or eternity, depends on where you are sitting. I then asked my GF "How do you think he felt"? I told her I would have been worried because anyone who wanted to try to make some money could hit me and it would be my fault if I were in the VIF's place.

    Staying on the safe side seems like the best idea to me because I know for a fact that my guardian angel is an alcoholic and misses a lot of work days!:o o: But they have been there for the really crucial things so I won't complain too much.
     
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    robert k, Mar 16, 2016
    #2991
  2. nwlivewire

    nwlivewire DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Army Navy

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    Dear Alex:

    You are too funny!

    Keep 'em coming!

    hahaha

    nwlivewire
     
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    nwlivewire, Mar 16, 2016
    #2992
  3. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    alex, Mar 16, 2016
    #2993
  4. Crystalhead

    Crystalhead ADMIN Admin ★ Forum Moderator ★ ★ Global Mod ★ ★ Moderator ★ ★★ Forum Sponsor ★★ ★ No Ads ★ Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Army

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    A Bishop died .... God asked "were you a good man"?
    Bishop replies... "well I did fornicate once".. so God game him a Cadillac to drive.
    A priest died .... God asked "were you a good man"?
    Priest said "I stole and had 3 mistress's" so God gave him a Volkswagon Beetle.
    One day the Bishop pulled up along side the priest and said....
    "lol, look at you" "must have been pretty bad to just get a Volkswagon"!
    Priest said.... "don't feel bad at all"! " I just saw a Pope riding a skateboard"!
     
    Crystalhead, Mar 16, 2016
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  5. nwlivewire

    nwlivewire DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor Veteran Army Navy

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    :hilarious:
    Oh Man!
    Guess I'm in BIG trouble....:laugh::jawdrop:
    nwlivewire
     
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    nwlivewire, Mar 17, 2016
    #2995
  6. AlwaysRt

    AlwaysRt DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Blood Donor Veteran Air Force Marines

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    Yup, if I get there first I'm taking the running shoes with the built-in skates LOL
     
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    AlwaysRt, Mar 17, 2016
    #2996
  7. DaveD

    DaveD DI Senior Member Showcase Reviewer Veteran Navy

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    AN EXOTIC PARROT

    [​IMG]

    I was in a pet shop when I noticed a Muslim girl with the most amazingly coloured parrot perched on her shoulder.

    "Where did you get that from?" I asked.

    "Germany. There's f ---ing thousands of 'em!" said the parrot.
     
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    DaveD, Mar 17, 2016
    #2997
  8. alex

    alex DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster

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    An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to live."
    "But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great. I haven't felt better in years. This just can't be true. Isn't there anything I can do?"
    After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start going down the street to that new health spa and take a mud bath every day."
    Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?"
    "No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt
     
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    alex, Mar 19, 2016
    #2998
  9. Toto

    Toto DI Senior Member

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    Another:

     
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    Toto, Mar 21, 2016
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  10. Show Pony

    Show Pony DI Forum Patron Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    [​IMG]
     
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    Show Pony, Mar 21, 2016
    #3000
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