Where's the humor on here?

·

There was a male Law student at Harvard Law with a girlfriend and everything about her was perfect. Her looks were perfect, as was her figure. They had a wonderful sex life together. In fact, the young Law Student planned top propose soon after graduation. Then his girlfriend went home to see her parents and she never came back. The young Law Student then through himself into his studies and graduated third in his class at Harvard Law. All was going well until 5 years later he saw his ex-girlfriend with a set of twins. He asked her how old the boys were and she told him they were 5 years old. He then did the mental math and asked her if they were his sons. She said they were indeed his sons. But I loved you and planned to marry you after I graduated, why did you leave me? She told the young lawyer that when she went home to see her parents she knew she was pregnant, and after seeing a Doctor she found out she was pregnant with twins. But I could have made all three of your lives much easier, why did you leave me? She told him that she and her parents had had a long discussion on the matter and had decided they would rather have two bastards in the family than one Lawyer!!

Lik

 

Here is a link to driving in the snow in Montreal.
Funny Stuff is probably the right place for this.
CTV Montreal | News Videos

So, Who misses the snow. LOL

 

Two men are feeding pigeons.
One says "Politicans are like pigeons."
"Why?" ask the other man.
"At the bottom they are feed by us, but as soon they are above us, they will sh*t on us!"

 

As with many of you, the frustration of living in the Philippines seems to affect my attitude at times. Having to deal with the political rubbish of my mother country and the Philipines is over whelming sometimes. So I asked around for advice on Anger management… I got some Aussie style anger management program advice. If you get some really rude phone calls it may be from me… do not be offended I am just practicing my new style of Anger Management.


“When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it...

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said,
'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an *sshole!'
And hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word '*sshole' next to it,
And put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an *sshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*sshole' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an *sshole!'
And hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first *sshole (I had his number on speed dial)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW *sshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax
It's a yellow ranch style house And the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an *sshole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called *sshole #1.

He said, 'Hello'

I said, 'You're an *sshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah!'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me'

I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, '*sshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, a yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, *sshole,' and hung up.

Then I called *sshole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, *sshole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your @ss'

I answered, 'Well, *sshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on my way over to 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.