Funniest name I was called in boot camp, out of many. "you turds are nothing but whale sh*t, bottom of the ocean, nothing lower". I had to hide my laugh.
I found out the hard way what a boot-camp was after I had an negligent discharge.I can still feel the instructors boot up my butt.
My drill sergeants didn't know I existed until the last day when I made a smart @ss reply after graduation, which I immediately regretted. "Holy f*ck! Hey guys, we have a comedian over here!" *Waves 6 other drill sergeants over. A bunch of yelling. "Tell me a joke, private!" "get down! Push! Get up! Get down! Push!" "I'm not hearing any jokes, funny man!"
Some Fella 1st week of bootcamp could only do 10 push-ups and I still recall the lines screamed at him over the coarse. - "A (F#$K%^G) Dead Dung Beetle has more push than you do." - " If muscles were Gasoline, you wouldn't be able to drive an Ants Motorcycle around the inside of a (F#$K%^G) CHERRIO" - " If you keep laying on your belly like a piece of garbage.. the Japanese are gonna DRAG YAH OUT TO SEA" -This Drill Sergeant called anyone with more than 8 letters in their last name "Alphabet" - If Yah looked him in the eye he would say "Are one of those Fluffers that think your arse is a rotating doorway?" -"Listen........ I am not allowed to Punch Yah, but if I was allowed to Punch Yah...I'd kick Yah in the BALLS" -" Why the hell did you join this Army."Did your Mamma say you looked like Captain Crunch" - Your so damned stupid Yah wouldn't know if your own hair was wet from ...WATER.....YOUR OWN SWEAT.....OR INDUSTRIAL TURPENTINE. Everything he said we would laugh through the Night about it. On Grad night he stole an Ambulance, showed up at the Barracks drunk and invited myself & others to drive out into the sticks and we all got Hammered on Rum Toddy.
