Better than a soap opera and for the most part true - at least as far as I can determine. The only written media reference to it was a brief item in the Visayan language press.

Our last 23 July transit to Bais is interrupted by a text from Den Den's father. He works, amongst other jobs, for a local radio station which has sent him to Holy Child Hospital to ascertain the particulars of an interesting local news item.

It seems that one of the local motorized tricycle taxi drivers was enjoying some pre-nooner delight with a woman in a local "by the hour" hotel. He became stuck!

Stuck, as in stuck inside her but unable to withdraw his still turgid member. Those of us, who have attentively read the product data sheet included with each purchase of Viagra or Cialis, will instantly and enviously recognize the signs of priapism.

Vocally seeking assistance, the hotel's room boy responded to their cries. He arranged for them to be rushed to the nearest hospital. This part is hard to visualize and no-one is furnishing any detail. Can you not just picture it? Throw a sheet over the pair of them and hop-shuffle along the hall, down the stairs and into the street. Transportation? Probably another passing tricykad. The mind boggles!

Here I must pause for you to gather your thoughts. Both are married. The woman, a native of Bais (hence the SMS text to us) is an instructor at Saint Paul's University here in Dumaguete. Try reporting that fact without incurring the wrath of the local Sisters of Charity nuns. The woman is married to a Filipino working abroad, hence the likely source of her need.

They are surgically (?) separated. Again a distinct lack of detail. The local chapter of the Bra-Burning Man-Hater Society speculates that the nasty and predatory male had his dick deservedly chopped off. I counter that this option would be both messy and ethically cloudy. Those of you who have experienced difficult deliveries in child birth are likely imagining the more likely procedure involving the undermining of the perineum.

Whatever the medical choice made, the woman died!

So now comes the interesting speculations. You are invited to join in and contribute whatever alternate ending you choose. There is no prize, but best responses will be circulated here.

What does one tell the husband? He will, no doubt. return from wherever in the world he is to bury his wife. Imagine the funeral? The er, um, ah visitation during mourning?

What instruction should be given to the funeral director? Will the deceased adulterer carry her fixed smile of contentment into eternity?

The preceding is true, as best as I can determine and despite the efforts of many to conceal the delightful details.

Enjoy!