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Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

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  1. Oz-Roger

    Oz-Roger DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    In the US they join the Clinton Foundation..........:cool:
     
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  2. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    :eek: Apparently, this is not always the case here in the PI :rolleyes:

    Just saying :biggrin:

    JP :bag::whistling:
     
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  3. Oz-Roger

    Oz-Roger DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    All non-Australians may need to have this translated........lol...............so have an interpreter nearby......:biggrin:

    Aussie Bush Etiquette

    1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview
    2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting.
    3. It is tacky to take an Esky to Church
    4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
    5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it is rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.
    6. When using the outdoor long-drop leave the door open so you can yarn with your neighbor.
     
  4. Oz-Roger

    Oz-Roger DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    A new recruit to the Foreign Legion stationed in the middle of the Sahara, ( or was that Kandahar ? ), had been without a woman for a month since he joined, and he was getting extremely horny.

    He asked one of the senior guys there where they went for a woman.

    The guy replied, there are no women around this Fort, and the nearest town is thousands of km away, so once a month on a Friday night, the Commandant allows us access to the stables, and we use the Camels.

    The new guy, was quite shocked at this, and said no-way, he will just have to get over it.

    Well, several months went by and he just could not stand it any longer, and tonight was the monthly Friday night, so he asked his informant from before, what the go was.

    Well, after we are dismissed at 5pm from drill, we head down to the stables and pick one out.

    Ok, 5pm came, they were all dismissed and all the guys headed for the stables at a breakneck run, flat out.

    The new guy kept up with them and asked, why the rush.

    The reply was- " have to get there for first pick, don't want to end up with any of the ugly ones do you ?".................:hilarious:
     
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    Last edited: Apr 27, 2015
  5. sntmig

    sntmig DI Forum Adept

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    And the other version for the ending...
    "Oh, we use the camels to go to town"
     
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  6. Oz-Roger

    Oz-Roger DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    Angela Merkel arrives in Athens and is going through Visa check.

    "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer

    "German" she replies

    "Occupation?" he asks.

    "No, not this time" she says, "I am just here for a meeting.

    :biggrin:
     
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  7. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    Never mind, that one went over someone's head. :wink:
     
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  8. Oz-Roger

    Oz-Roger DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer

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    Maybe you are confused between Transistor and Transvestite perhaps ?:biggrin:
     
  9. KINGCOLE

    KINGCOLE DI Senior Member Highly Rated Poster

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    A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck.
    Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed-up with him.
    After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.
    After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
    One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
    As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man.
    Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
    After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
    A few weeks passed-by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
    The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.
    That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual.
    It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
    Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again.
    He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave-in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months.
    Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
    He said, 'Take the dog for a walk.'
     
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  10. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    It was a pun.....never mind.
     
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