Where's the humor on here?

I remember someone telling my mother that he couldn't believe that a woman her size could have a son as large as I. Mom told him that really I was no bigger than a sack of flour when I was born.

I was kind of runty at 3 kilos. I got a cousin who has had a couple that were 5 kilos. I affectionately refer to her as the cow. Quietly of course. Her husband just smiles.

 

I think I will stay walking the Dogs, Ankle snapping gets to a new level.

 

Two Yankee boys were driving through the South and was stopped by a State Trooper.

The trooper walked up to the open driver’s window, reached in, and slapped the driver on the side of his head.

“What did you do that for?” the driver asked.

“I don’t know how yall do it up north but here in Alabama, you have your driver’s license ready when I walk up to the car.”

The trooper took the license when it was offered, walked back to his unit and then returned the license to the driver.

He then walked around to the passenger side of the car and tapped on the window. When the passenger rolled the window down, the trooper reached in and slapped the passenger on the side of the head.

“What did you do that for?” asked the startled passenger.

“Well,” responded the trooper, “I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You’ll get about two miles down the road and then say, I wish that redneck woulda tried that with me!'”

 

A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD.
"GOD", he said, "How long is a million years?"
GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?"
GOD answered, "To Me, it's a dime."
The man then asked, "GOD, can I have a dime?"
GOD said, "In a minute."


Read more on page: The best jokes (11 to 20)

 

Thank s to Eu commission. At Last, so easy for Frenchies

 

And wall street journal is à blessée to consule me for what I don't have

 

Sorry , a blessed