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Elder joke?

Discussion in '☋ Dumaguete City ☋' started by phomsanuk, Aug 2, 2010.

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  1. phomsanuk

    phomsanuk DI Member

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    Benefits of OLD AGE!

    1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

    2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

    3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

    4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

    5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

    6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

    8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

    9. You can live without sex but not without your glasses.

    10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

    11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

    13. You sing along with elevator music.

    14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

    15 .. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off

    16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

    17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

    18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

    19. After a whole night of drinking you looked as wasted or no different than when you started..so drink up and be merry for tomorrow a new stack of cold beer is waiting.

    And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience..
     
  2. AndyG

    AndyG DI Member Admin ★ Forum Moderator ★ ★ Global Mod ★ ★ Moderator ★ Showcase Reviewer Blood Donor

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    Brilliant, I'd send that to my aging dad but he can't use a computer. Or, for that matter, a mobile phone, remote control or even an electric kettle. His favorite phrase is "I come from the time of wooden ships and iron men" and "No you can't have any money". He's priceless :smile:
     
  3. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    :eek: Thank Goodness for the Large print! This is the funniest for weeks!



    Jack P. :smile:
     
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