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How Are We Perceived Marrying a Young Filipina

Discussion in '☋ Expat Section ☋' started by PatO, Dec 2, 2010.

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  1. RonEtue

    RonEtue DI Member

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    Grandfathers and young chicks.

    Enjoy what you have as long as you have it..... If young feels better and makes you happy...so be it. PatO is right... the filipino people look down at the girl in most cases. We also know that an 18 - 25 year old girl in California will not give an older guy a minute of her time, and the reason is that she don't have to, nor does she need him, maybe as a Santa Claus for X-mas. Already heard stories about guys in Philippines getting married and building houses, but shortly thereafter the old man is no longer welcome to live in the house, and when the family says "OUT", out he goes. Very sad, but that is the way it is in many cases. Also remember that a young girl maybe start re-think her situation when she gets a little older and maybe wants a life with someone in her own age...for longivity and stability. Babies is not a solution, and the sad part is that older men will never enjoy the child growing up and be there for all the needs. Children needs parents together for a happy life. It has been proven so many times that a stabil strong family is the best for our children.
    I married a Filipina in California many years ago and we are 13 years apart and it works well. She is still a headturner for the right reason when we are out together....nobody looking down at her. But again keep what makes you happy and enjoy as long as you can. Communication is the most important thing and therefore I prefer some close to my age. When there is a 50 year difference between husband and wife, soon it it will be pretty quiet when the "LOVY DOVY" is over. Nothing in common beside what you have created for the short time being together. Not judging anybody, wish all of you good luck and a long relationship, hopefully happy forever. Continuing my travelling and soon flying to Davao and Samal Island. CHEERS!
    MHO..........what is yours?
     
  2. Mike17

    Mike17 DI New Member

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    Staring is one thing but..."these two guys walked by and said something in the local language as he sneered at me." I would have a hard time ignoring that. I'm not suggesting you did the wrong thing but I don't think I could easily just blow it off. Is it the the 1st time you have encountered that? As for a win-win for all, it's not so for the guy on the street, he/she is probably not going to benefit at all from the fact that you're there and may be resentful of your young wife and jealous of your perceived wealth. Since I've only visited but will be moving there in a matter of months, I'm curious if this is a common occurrence.
     
  3. OP
    OP
    PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    Mike, thanks for the reply. You have to ignore a lot that goes on here. Guys here like to check out the girls the same as foreigners here sitting around the mall will check out girls, they are just less diplomatic so to speak. My builder hired 32 local people, some are his skilled workers, but most of the others are laborers who would probably not have work if he didn't hire them. Some of the resorts here survive on foreigners visiting. So when I say win-win, that is what I'm referring to.
     
  4. OP
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    PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    You make some good points. Don't think I would have a lot of luck in the US finding and marrying a nice young lady. Here and all over the PI, common place. Your point on communication is interesting, maybe that is why there are about 20 Americans hanging around McDonalds every morning bs'ing with each other. Me, no problem or perceived problem. If there ever is, my dog love me.
     
  5. Kenny

    Kenny DI Forum Adept

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    I got a lifetimes worth of communication in the 13 years I was married to my first wife (Irish American). Mostly from her to me delivered at about 90 decibels.

    I have been married to my filipina wife for 30 years. We have a couple kids and a couple grand kids but have yet to have what could be called a conversation. Silence is golden. If I want conversation there are a number of establishments where I can share true wisdom over cold beer.
     
  6. RonEtue

    RonEtue DI Member

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    Found the Moderators opinion....

    09-14-2008, 03:02 AM
    Rhoody
    DI - Mod Join Date: Dec 2006
    Location: Bamberg Germany, Dumaguete City
    Posts: 3,705

    I think there is a big difference between a local marriage with that age difference and Expats in their 60'th who call their (age-wise) granddaughters the true love. Why they don't use common sense and look for a 50 year old and still pretty widow of a fisherman who died in a storm ??? For sure they know more about life than a mid-20- girl with the experience of a Kindergarten-kid in the western world.
    Guys, be a little bit honest to youself...
    __________________
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  7. RonEtue

    RonEtue DI Member

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    During my visit in Dumaguete I heard that most of the Big Mac Donald boys
    are from the Bacong area..... What is missing in Bacong???? When we have nobody to talk with and don't have mutual conversations with our loved ones, isn't that the time when the "BS'ing starts" or is it the DAILY NEWS at MAC's? Who can eat there anyway....I rather sit by the ocean and fry and eat fish, snails and frogs.....lol

    Cheers , Ron
     
  8. felisa gil

    felisa gil DI Member

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    The Philippine society is very stratified, if you have not noticed it yet. Most foreigners marry girls who come from poor families. Once these girls marry, their economic status changes abruptly and both the society and the girls themselves are put in an akward situation. Negros Oriental being a small province, one's social status is very transparent. It is still an oddity to see mixed marraiges, more so, when the girl is much younger than the man. Mostly people just stare but sometimes guys make derogatory comments, mostly to the women for selling out.

    That is something one can choose to ignore. Afterall, if it the marraige works, who cares what people think.

    As a local who has lived in has in the US for many years, I would like to think that eventually the foreigners who will settle down to live here would circulate among a wider range of social strata.

    Please realize that as much as your input helps the local economy, it takes more than that to keep it going. That attitide is offensive. You take as much as you give, if not more.

    For those still looking for long term relationships, meet the local girls in the town, widen your horizons! There are many teachers and professional singles around.
     
  9. firefly

    firefly DI Senior Member

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    This is something you can ignore indeed.
    It is much more difficult to ignore the neighbourhood where you live your daily life, and Bacong is not exactly very tactfull in handling gossip.
    Living in a subdivision is much more comfortable on this matter.
     
  10. felisa gil

    felisa gil DI Member

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    That is small town living for you. This applies, whether you are an expat or a local. Gossip is a major source of entertainment. When they get used to you then you are no longer news. Give it time.
     
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