⌛ Our damaged culture needs urgent repair

macsmomma, thanks for sharing your thoughtful assessment. The only one I would call in to question, in my experience, is the apologetic line as it relates to males. I have found filipinas to be almost over-apologetic while males seem to have a hard time apologizing. I understand the strong filipino pride but an apology when due can go a long way, IMHO.

 

Hi Kojak,

You are correct to say that my summation is a limited assessment…I was striving to capture what it is about the Filipino culture that its natives are proud of but seem unable to express when asked.

Your observations are astute…the examples you’ve given are idiosyncratic and yet oddly typical. My being Filipino would not qualify me as an expert on Filipino culture either, but perhaps “demystifying” it can be something to look forward to when I retire…it should be at the very least, an interesting pursuit.

I also agree that positive traits can have negative manifestations, and that there can be lot of gray in between.

 

Hi PatO,

I am probably very privileged to know a lot of enlightened Filipino males who are not stingy with their apologies, and recognize that mistakes have lessons to teach, but only if the mistake is acknowledged first.

Now and then I meet the odd one such as you’ve described, and, unless he has really redeeming qualities, I would quickly put distance between us.

 

I tried building a house and after three crews, I had to give up and sell the lot.
I was wanting to build a decent house, but the Filipino crews (3 crews to be exact) decided that they knew better than I did and ripped out everything we had gotten done as soon as I would leave the work site.
They wanted crumbly 4" blocks set on the ground and refused to let me have my foundation/steel frame house I was trying to build.
Their reply was always the same when I asked them why they refused to do as I told them, "It isn't done that way here in the Philippines".
With attitudes like that, I can see why any change for the better is hard to find here.
I figure if I am paying a person to do a job, they should do as I say and not as they please, after all, it is my money and not theirs (at least until the job is finished).

 

I have an American friend who some might say has some eccentric ideas about house building.....ideas that would be questioned even in America.... but he had no problem getting Filipino workers to break "tradition" and build his home the way he wanted it..... and as an ex-Army construction engineer, I must admit it turned out very nice....except for maybe the 10 inch risers but that is a small thing
Why your crews failed to appreciate your wishes is a mystery.... on our house after my wife fired her third laborer and second foreman.... things settled down and went fairly well....

One of the things that makes a Filipino worker so adaptable world wide is their willingness to follow instructions / rules without question or modification.... your problem would seem, possibly, to be a foreman that thought he knew better than you and wanted to keep you from making a mistake....
.... in America we often say, "He is paying the bills so he can be an idiot if he wants" but in the Philippines they often care too much.... have too much pride connected to their product.....couple that with learning only "one way" to do things.... maybe that was the source of the problem.... only answer to that is 24/7 supervision
also if you are building....make a locked tool and equipment room....sign stuff out and in.... light switches and other items have a tendency to grow legs and walk off the work site.... unintended work bonuses??

 

That would seem to be an individual quality.... my wife was having a fight with her sister....and was 100% wrong.... my wife admitted she was totally wrong
....I suggested she simply apologize.... a simple thing for an American....my wife was shocked and responded...."I have my pride!".....

For some Filipinos it is almost impossible to admit you are wrong.... that condition gets more difficult depending on the hierarchy.... a daughter apologizing to a mother is fine; but a mother apologizing to a daughter....VERY RARE

 

I was my own foreman and would never leave anyone in charge of building a house for me.
Even in the states, I was on hand at all times when I was having a house built because misunderstandings and mistakes can occur anywhere at any time.
The problem could very well be that this lot is in Cebu and all I hired were laborers who may have thought they knew how to build better than I did.
I was also told by a native that sometimes folks here do anything to stretch out a job as long as they can if they are paid by the day.
I don't pay anyone here by the day anymore and get a lot more done and a lot quicker too (on other jobs around our present house).
They and I will get together and agree on a price and I pay them only when the work is done and it really gets things done faster.

 

Brucewayne.... I agree with your points.... never pay by the hour.... learned that the hard way

 

I would be VERY interested in your insights.... I am constantly asking my Filipino friends how they feel about things in an attempt to understand

I talked with a local lawyer today .... we discussed General Garcia....the Health Care Initiative.... and dozens of other Filipino topics....I mostly listened and was enlightened.... He liked the column on Tourism and feels it is the way to go to break the chains of poverty....

 

Confused!

What started as a good thread, has turned into, lets Slag off the Filipino. WHY, I ask myself? WE! the foreigners, have said many times, we should not be here telling our hosts how to do anything. I for one, married my lady for love, We talk, discuss and make decisions based on our respective origins and cultures. IF! I wanted to impose MY ways on anyone, I would have stayed in the UK. I lived in Spain for may years, Gosh! it took me long enought to understand the people there, I have this opinion, Don't teach Granny to suck eggs. If the Builders, Painters, Carpenters don't or can't do it the way YOU want. Import those that can (If you can afford to) But come on guys and girls, lets get back to the real issue here. Lets try and HELP mend the problem, NOT make it worse. You never know, Ideas and thoughts may be welcome. Adverse directions and comments are not welcome.


Jack P.