⌛ Understanding Women

Likewise (just missed the Funny side)

With you all the way on that Ron


Jack P.

 

How many volumes in this encyclopedia....? :D

 

there is a well known formula to understand women, as soon you memorize it you are good to go for a ever lasting relationship...

 

Haha yes and this is just on the BASICS !!!, HOPE Juliet doesn't read this ..........but I wear the trousers around here.......She told me so :D

 

Pocket Size?

Do you think they do, an Abridged pocket size, for Quick Reference? :D memory a little slow these days :(

Nice One Rhoody, as ever, quick off the mark :D


Jack P.

 

Not sure I want to understand women...... If I understood them I would have nothing to complain about.....have nothing to laugh about......and would soon get bored

My wife is the cleanest person I know.....she daily scrubs all the dirt and grease from her beautiful body...... then quickly greases it up again ????
My wife drinks the last of the coke......then puts the empty bottle back in the refrigerator????
She begged for a motor scooter so she could ride comfortable in a dress.....now she has her sister drive her everywhere???
She can decide in a flash what I will wear.....but it takes her hours to decide what she will wear????
She tells me I am a genius.....the slowly demonstrates how to clean my finger nails like in 70 years I had never done that before
Despite coming to me dozens of times saying, "You were right".....She still wont take my advice....

 

I noticed a quote in the back window of a car, it said........
"When God made Man.....she was only joking!"

 

here we are working on it

 

There is no need to understand women, just learn to live by the rules:

1. The female always makes the rules

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.

8. The female may change her mind at any time.

9. The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.

13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.

14. Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.

15. If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.

16. The female is ready when she is ready.

17. The male must be ready at all time.

18. The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.


A list of extra rules

1. When crying occurs you caused it and should fix it. Perfect time for a gift.

2. Watching Star Trek or any type of non-romance movie/ T.V. show should also be rewarded in a gift.

3. The toilet seat prefers to be down. Gravity; any questions?

4. When we ask if we are fat, we are looking for a "NO I love you just the way you are" answer.

5. Cindy Crawford cuts her hair why can't we?

6. We are not always thinking of you.

7. We are not always looking for the perfect gift... some gift is better than no gift, and we realize it is the thought that counts.

8. Our Cats truly are special friends.

9. Shopping is not a sport, it's an adventure.

10. We value your opinion on our outfits and perhaps you should ask for direction when you are dressing.

11. Wearing the same clothes because they are on top of the pile is not acceptable.

12. If we had enough clothes or shoes then why are there so many stores?

13. When we ask for something we want it then!! Don't wait for a birthday, etc. you may forget what it is that we want.

14. If you cant be expected to hit the toilet, we can't be expected to find the oil.

15. When the lights come on in the car, we let you know when we get around to it.

16. Three pairs of shoes in not a selection, its a crisis!

17. Boots, old tennis shoes, and grass shoes are not adequate shoe choices.

18. We don't believe you when you say you'll be right home.

19. Yes and No are not answers, you are not on trial and we are not your attorney.

20. We remember what you say regardless of how long its been. Why can't you?

21. Saying what you think we want to hear gets you in more trouble! Stop while you are ahead.

22. There are no good sports.

23. Why can't you ask for directions?

24. Why can't you follow directions?

25. How can we be expected to tell you about our day in just 30 seconds when it took all day to happen?

26. You too can order Pizza.

27. Chinese Food is a meal.

28. Chips and Dip are NOT a meal.

29. Why don't you know all of these rules?

Prenny's Bana (AKA prenilie's hubsband)

 

Having read the above rules.......How could my Dad let me get married?