Where's the humor on here?

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Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

 

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

 

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

 

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

 

manila folder is a filipino contortionost

 

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

The boy replied, 'What turkey?'

The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.

If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'




The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his a#@ and let him go!'

 

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View attachment 8987

 

Now I know how to figure out the time zones....

Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In Clip #6 Goldie explains it all. - YouTube

 

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. Then when I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs.