Where's the humor on here?

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to fuss, "Where did you get that car???!!!

He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents? "We know what a Porsche costs."

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."

So the parents began to panic and asked. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "I don't know her name; they just moved in.

She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness," moaned the mother to the boys father, "John, you go right up there and see what's going on."

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know what was going on.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary.

The secretary took his money and left him after they had arrived.

He called me and claimed he was robbed and stranded. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money.

So I did.

 

A Utah Mormon was seated next to an Irish Catholic on a flight back to States from London.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey and a glass of Guinness,

which were promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.






He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be raped by 12 whores than let liquor touch my lips."






The Irishman then handed his drinks back to the attendant and said,

"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

 

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."

''Mrs. Sanders, please."

''Speaking."

''Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way, the results are not too good."

''What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for syphilis. We can't tell which is which."

''That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.

"Normally we can, but Philhealth will only pay for these expensive tests one time."

''Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

''The folks at Philhealth recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

 

I never make the same mistake twice.

Just to be sure I do this.

 

What would Ghandi do ?? ...


It's only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.