Suggestion Best Posts in Thread: The miracles that occur on internet dating sites

Many of us are shy to walk up to a complete stranger in a public place and just start up a conversation. Plus girls here even more so never travel alone, always in packs which is even scarier for many guys. Many of us have had so much rejection by women back home the thought of it in public in full view is scary. Plus in public we never know if they are just to shy to be seen ignoring us and really want nothing to do with us as there are actually some Filipina's believe it or not that while available specifically do NOT want a foreigner young or old. Also the guys who can easily walk up to a random girl and strike up a conversation are generally the experienced players, not the good guys to take home to meet the parents.

The internet allows us a bit of saving grace to test out new strategies, see responses to what may seem crazy attempts and idea's, and try and figure out how to sell ourselves without much at risk. But with this we do lie and often lie big. Hence I say never trust anyone over the internet has ever told you the truth but as well don't assume they are a bad person just because they lied (after all your there as well).

 

First off one has to understand that much of the feel of not trusting online data sites is a bogus feeling. Those players, scumbags, and gold diggers would be doing the same thing anywhere else. The internet dating site is just a tool like any other be it a bar, restaurant, boulevard, or even a church (yes some scumbags use churches).

My tips of wisdom though from all my experience on dating sites.
1. Look for newer profiles, if they have been there a long time there is a reason usually and rarely they just broke from a long good relationship that went sour.
2. Don't ever trust a girl who goes out saying she is a virgin when starting to chat.
2.b Don't ever trust a guy who asks if a girl is a virgin when starting to chat.
3. Never date a girl who has been with other foreigners already. May sound harsh but usually they are either easy to play and trick, gold diggers, or just not the keeping type of girl (few exceptions do exist but most they want the lifestyle foreigners provide more then anything). Further they have expectations based on previous relationships with foreigners such as a big allowance, fancy things, and so on not thinking that just being taken care of is good enough. (I knew a guy who got into a relationship with a *good* girl as he thought but she pushed for an 8k a month allowance because her last foreigner did which only lasted like 2 months and he was abusive).
4. Make sure the girl actually has interests, knows what she wants out of life, and where she hopes to go in her life. No dreams means a dead girl in the mind just good for one thing only.
5. Try and meet some casual friends, this goes for him and her. Its not like asking to meet the parents but just hang out with a couple of the regular casual friends. If she pays attention to the friends she can get a good idea of what he is really like under all the charm and potential falseness. If he pays attention to the friends (sadly need to try and push English only unless you speak bisayan) he can get an idea as well and taking to a disco with a drink or two to loosen up their tongues and actions helps also. Based on the whole *birds of a feather flock together*. If his regular friends are scumbags, womanizers, players, and chick boys more then likely he is also. If her friends are very materialistic, seem to be about money, what you'll buy for them, and can't hold any form of conversation more then likely she's no good either.
6. Always assume that while a person you meet online may be a good person they most likely are major liars on 95% of what they are saying. Never expect the real person guy or girl to be what you see of think is on the other end of that internet conversation.
7. Demand webcam chat but time planned after a couple normal chats that go well. If he goes whipping it out straight off bad guy. As a planned video internet date of a sort both should be looking fairly presentable. Nothing to fancy but shouldn't look like a slob. If either fails this test you get an idea of the work involved. But the guy should never be whipping it out (or even suggesting it) or asking the girl to show him *stuff*. The guy could however ask the girl her experience on doing video chats before acting like he's new at it and if she seems experienced to a point joke about if she's had many bad guys doing bad things on there. Then also ask a properly worded question under assumptions such as *when was the first time you showed under your shirt on one of these chats* in a joking way. She will either flat out deny (more then likely), get pissed (usually because its true and you assumed right), or confess just *once* sort of thing. This gives you a good idea on her character as well.
9. Play your age range with considerations. Does anyone really think a hot 19 year old girl finds the love of her life in a 65 year old fat (or not fat) guy? Or that a 65 year old guy is finding the love of his life is some hot 19 year old? It could happen but odds are highly against. I say consider *family value*. If she is young enough to just be getting into wanting the family life (they all want this btw) and he is to old to stick around for the whole thing more then likely there is an issue. Older guys are better off looking in the 30's range to find someone a bit more likely to be true to you and not your wallet. Same in reverse for the girls. Do they think grandpa is going to want to start a new family with that 19 year old and then stick around (not dieing off) until the kid is fully grown through college?
10. Always know your breaking point and your way out. Let them know you don't believe in unconditional love and that certain things are required to keep that flame burning. This goes both ways. Who can love someone who ignores them as long as they get what they want. But when people know of an active risk of loss they tend to work harder and if they don't you know its time to cut and head off.

 

When you go to the Mall there are many people there to meet and see, but none have signs around their neck saying...." I want someone in my life now". Another words a lot of sorting and declarations has been completed that the people on the internet dating sites are actively looking for someone else in their life for some reason. When in public you can get the smile, and "look" from some lady, but that does not mean she does not go home to her live-in boyfriend, or even "husband" after walking by.... completely forgetting you.
With that said, I feel the internet dating sites are plagued with credibility issues on the part of the people that are on the sites My original point in the tread was be careful, misrepresentation can be prevalent on the internet dating sites. Misrepresentation does not have a gender preference both men and woman participate in the act of personal enhancements of character etc on internet sites. When you look at the two profiles of the people my GF found and compared them to their actual lives as you know them there is some huge variation in their lives and their profiles. Internet dating sites should only be used as sorting and meeting arena only.... anyone that goes steady with someone he has only meet on the internet site... needs more than his head examined he needs his heart examined too because that is when the "Desperation, loneliness, lies, b@llSh!t etc" issue become apparent.
There is many different reason for using the internet sites, ie development of a Long term relationship or set up for an afternoon sexual adventure. You should know your own intentions, and the intentions of "prey" (I mean others participant's) relationship goals and activities. Remember when trolling around Dumaguete you usually do not have a sign around your neck saying your a looking for someone, and here is what I am looking for and what you are offering.... unless of coarse you have your wallet on a string and are dragging it behind you as you walk down the boulevard.. . On the internet site your intentions (false or otherwise) are usually listed on your profile.

 

The miracles of internet dating are necessary to repair the creditability problems, calamities and scams one runs into on the dating sites.

Does anyone else have interesting experiences or gifts of wisdom for those using the internet dating sites to share?

As many of you have probably learned, the internet, and internet dating sites in particular, does not have a lot of creditability. Let this be a warning to many of those using the sites.

Two Examples:
In her boredom, my Gf decided to look up her old BF on Dating in Asia (I will remind you that the key for me to have quiet time is to use the modern day electronic babysitter know as a smart phone and to be sure the house’s Wi-Fi is on, the phone is the new electronic babysitter of the 21 century replacing the TV). Lord be my witness her X has completed a modern day miracle. When she left his life about 6 months ago, he was 52 years old, with less than a year left in his life due to lung cancer, which is why he wanted to maximize his experiences with other woman. Now he has grown younger by 14 years, now posting he was 38 years old, and is very active in sports, including hiking and rock climbing etc. That is excellent health and aging news for a man who had lung cancer when she left him. He must have discovered a medical miracle, or has developed golden fingers on his keyboard. Whichever she found it amazing and we both had a laugh.

After a short period of time (3 seconds) she decided to look for my X’s on dating site. With a glee of noise that sounded like someone stepping on one of the cat’s tail she came to me with all the drama she could muster and asked: “Do you know who I found on the Dating is Asia?” After I calmed down, realizing it was not me, she said it is your X from a ways back. (No names will be revealed). Wow, why is she on DIA when she is getting married to an older foreigner next month? On DIA she posted looking for a “girl from 18 to 40 years old for dating, friendship, serious relationship and networking.” She goes on to say “Been a long time ago I never have boyfriend so maybe it’s time to find.” I am glad she did not post something like this when I was with her. This of course made us laugh since she is planning to get married to her long time BF next month. I never did understand this lady, which is why I ended the relationship, so I am not sure she is looking for a man or woman in the ad. Maybe she is looking for a girl, as a pinch hitter on those nights when she is tired. No problem for me whatever is going on, I was just happy I got out of that relationship many years ago. It is just amazing to see what is posted on these sites when you know the real story behind the profiles. Do not believe everything you read that is posted. As Abraham Lincoln said, do not believe everything you read on the internet.

The point is when using the internet dating sites just be careful…. Very careful. (Read the Thread here in General Chat: she ran away with his money ). Do not go steady with anyone on a dating site, and do not send them money so they can come and meet you… it will most likely never happen, something will stop her from coming, but the money sent will be forgotten soon never to be discussed again.

Does anyone else have interesting experience or gifts of wisdom for those using the internet dating sites to share? (you can always post Anonymously if the experience is embarrassing) . It may be good educational and informative information for many on this site.

 

Overall ChMacQueen did an excellent analysis with lots of thought on the subject. Of coarse I have a few additional thoughts.
#3... personally I like a lady who has had a little experience with foreigners particularly with time management. I have been told "you are in the Philippines" it is OK to be late" but I do not buy that concept if we are interfacing with foreigners from a culture that is time sensitive. A lady who has been trained to value time, particularly your time, is much more attractive to me, but I tolerate the lack of time sensitivity, particularly if is is being applied when she is suppose to go home. Those that have learned the financial games from being with a foreigner, I can certainly live without. Remember many of these greedy Filipinas are trained by foreigners to expect EXCESSIVE financial support from foreigners, please do not screw it up for the rest of us by over paying for them. . They know how to play one foreigner against the last foreigner or future foreigner. Many foreigners will in is essence try to buy their time, out bidding each other, whether buying on short term 2 hour hotel time basis, or longer periods of time like two nights.. or a lifetime. These type of woman can be found the world over so why focus just on the Filipinas. Most gold diggers in the Philippines already have a man in the background, usually housed in the local jail that they expect you to support without your knowledge.
#9... yes learned that children are a necessity for most woman to experience, they are all mothers to be. I would also agree that if you can not afford to raise a child through college you should not plan on having one, consequently older ladies may be a wise choice, most "hotties" pass 22 years old already have one child.... each week your are with them they will share another little secret that they have another child in their past... (can I get an "Amen" to this?) In my early months in Dumaguete I saw an older man pushing a stroller in Robinsons Mall. I was applaud because I was not sure he was pushing a child or using the stroller as "walker" to get around, my thought was how arrogant.... he is trying to show everyone his sperm count is still good? Then I became aware that Americans on Social Security can get up to 50% of their monthly checks for their children from birth till they are 18 years old. That is enough money in my personal case that no wife or child would have to work until the child is over 18 years old, even if I was murder climbing out of window by jealous Filipino or for some other reason that my death may occurr. The total amount would come to about many millions of Pesos, and if that could not be invested properly by my widow then I married the wrong lady. Of coarse the money could not support the typical extended family of 50 + people but that would not be my problem, and I doubt I would ever roll over in my grave with whatever happened to the money. I had done the right thing for financially planning, if they, the survivors, chose to screw up their lives financially after I depart, that is their choice... the point is US Expat should be aware of the benefits that they can utilized so as not to leave a wife and child to live in poverty with their new BF and child's stepfather. Please think about you future children, and care for their future if you plan to have a child. (off topic again, but I would love to see the Expats that run off and leave single moms here be responsible for the mom and child after DNA test.... of coarse each situation varies).
#10... know you breaking point, when you will let go of is very important. If you want peace you need to not form attachments with any place or thing, and sometimes that applies to ladies also. Once the lady THINKS you have no choice.. you really do not have any choices left.
Take Care, be safe and act like a gentleman if you can...

 

Because its perceived to be like fast food. Quick, easy, no waiting. Same reason people would like to be able to find a job or an apartment online, but most accept that finding jobs or apartments online in Philippines is a lost cause but dating? Oh yeah, dating online is so easy