Best Posts in Thread: Working wives

A solid argument I have to agree with. However to me it also comes down to if its a career or a dead end job that sucks down any personal time.

For me I wouldn't date a gal and get serious if she's working a 6-7 day a week job doing the average 10+ hours a day if she isn't willing to quit it. However we also as partners need to think about her future even if we're a bit younger and could still be around for 25-30 years. To me that means sending them to school for a real career assuming they want to and/or are willing after numerous talks. If she's not that its her choice just as its the guys choice wanting a woman who actually has time to spend with him.

Its a huge difference between a gal working 7 days a week 10 hours a day vs one working 5 days a week and 8 hours a day. With the latter we still have time to have some semblence of a life and fun besides work and sleep.

Lastly I'll say the point of working is a two point thing. First being able to put food on the table and second is to have a financially secure future. Working a deadend job that pays 2k peso's a week and no real benefits doesn't put food on the table when your with someone receiving 60-100k peso's a month (or more) and it doesn't give the opportunity for a financial secure future either. This is why the last real GF's I've had plus my current fiancee all have been students for real professions with a future either starting on their own or my starting the financial ball rolling. If she won't/doesn't want to then she's not for me and I'd move on because I want someone who considers the future and wants to be prepared for whatever may happen.

 

I am working 4 days a week (not a happy job) and guess what, after four years of being inseparable with my bf, — eating together, watching the same shows together, (he even puts the tv on pause when I go pee) drink and eat out together, take walks, picnic, trips every now and then, do photography, cook, and it sounds pretty awesome but I found myself wanting to do things that he doesn’t do so I started taking evening/weekend classes at an American University and it helped.

 

Interesting point. It does come down to the family / relationships needs and someone who could help but won't is a problem and this goes for men and women. Its not his responsibility to support her and its not her responsibility to support him but its their responsibility to support each other and whatever kids they have mutually.

Key point I see though is one needs to decide early what they want in a relationship as far as some basics and make that clear early on. If you want a GF who has all the time in the world for you then don't go chasing someone who's working especially a career thinking she will drop everything so she can sit at home to be at your beck and call. Also consider if you want a career minded gal who wants a real job and real career to look for someone working at that or someone with the drive for that and make it clear early on. There is nothing wrong with stating what you want and looking for someone who fits your needs and wants but don't expect them way down the road to change course for you.

 

You know mine works, Mike. I admire her enthusiasm. At first I thought it was an excuse to get out of the house because I am boring to be with but now I see she wants to secure her future and her families future and not be dependent on me nor leech from me when her family needs something. She likes to feel independent and her business gives her that feeling. Also, when she gets home we enjoy each other's company more due to being apart. In addition, I like myself. I like the freedom to do what I want when I want and I enjoy that.

As a final statement on this, I have been told "if you really want me to stay home with you I will do that" and I realized I would rather have her working and happy than staying home and feeling like I have to entertain her because she doesn't really want to be there. So I told her to go to work if that is what she wants and I decided to myself that if it did not make me happy I'd just break it off and find a relationship that does make me happy. Pretty simple really, but after trying it I like it.

 

Ahhhh...’working wives’ eh? I know a few, and a merry bunch they were...

Great topic and here’s my story. Mine is educated, degree n all that but she chose to the child rearing thing, stay at home - despite the “children are expensive palanga, mmmm...would you like a part time....?” Several black eyes, tampa tantrums and the like I learned to keep quiet - until she raised the subject.

Now the kids are almost grown and away I can’t find a more industrious, multi-tasking hive of activity anywhere. A one woman whirlwind. In between finishing duties as a mother to 3 teenagers she runs 2 or 3 businesses, doubles as my Secretary (and yes I make her wear high heels in the office. RHIP - Rank Hath It’s Priveleges). So no complaints, guess I got a good ‘un.

I appreciate solid, rewarding employed opportunities are rare and at a premium here. The economies of scale between here and ‘home’ are different and I think mostly unjust. We made the decision to start businesses here rather than work for somebody else. It hasn’t been plain sailing, but with perseverance it’s looking ok. She’s engaged and involved with her work so it keeps the brain ticking over - guess it’s over to you to find that gap in whatever market. Good luck.

C

 

I totally agree the girl must decide for herself. My original post sounds as if I'm deciding for her..... far from the truth in fact. She had worked in 4 different supermarket chains in Cebu under the Endo 5month contracts and was finding it hard to find a new job so we discussed her not working for a few years and it was her decision to stop working. We moved to live in Australia a few years later and I supported her through colleges there and she got a full time job in Aged Care with a company car. Our break up was not connected in any way.

I am strongly against treating your Filipina wife or gf as property... they have the final decision. I have always tried to be very supportive of their career choices and will continue to do so with my new partner.

 

Wives (and gfs) are not 'property' to decide for them what is best. I agree to argue the case for the idea of not working for low wages if the partner can afford to keep the family financially sound - but any human being has the right to decide these things for themselves. Otherwise they become 'slaves' of the husband and not wives. Perhaps that is why you broke up.

 

I meet my gf when she works at my friends' resort. She has been at college, but else no education. Salary if she works will be a joke, I'm not rich, but we have more than we need. Ooohhh I forgot, I still want a Porche, a Ducati and a big and fast speedboat. We enjoy life, at least most of the time, haha and why not just enjoy life, travel a little and do what we like to do. If any work or business will come to our mind it needs to be fun, else no interest, life to short

 

Fifteen years at her current job. I can't stress this enough, it's not an issue for her so it's not one for me. We both work five days a week but Sunday is the only day we have off together. I get my chores done Saturdays and she does hers Mondays. It works for us.