Best Posts in Thread: Leaving family behind

I've lived here since early 2016.
We have travelled to the Netherlands (together) to visit family and to get married in 2018 and again in 2022, mostly to visit family and to do some touristy stuff.
I travelled back on my own in 2017 on the occasion of the birth of my 2nd grandchild, and again in 2019 because my mother's health was in serious decline. Sadly I missed the birth of my 3rd grandchild because of covid travel restrictions.
In the opposite direction, my eldest daughter visited us here in 2018 and 2023, and my youngest visited in 2017, 2019, 2022 and we met them in Bali early this year.

Obviously I have pretty strong ties with my kids, and yes of course they would prefer papa/opa (granddad) to live nearby instead of a 16 hour flight away, but they do recognize that a happy father in the Philippines is better than a lonely father nearby, and they understand and accept my reasons for living here rather than there. Obviously Whatsapp helps to stay in touch with family also.

I also recognize that if my daughters would have been just starting out in their adult life when I left, it would have been a harder decision to move to the Philippines. As it is they are both in their mid/end thirties, have a stable life with a good partner, nice house and excellent jobs, so doing really well.

 

A while ago my wife and i went back to live in the UK due to the fact that after 18 months of no work it was the only place i could get a job in my line of work.
I have a grown up son and daughter there 35 and 37 years old now and at the time we went back a new born grandson.
We were back there for 3 years and i think i was lucky if i saw them more than once or twice a month and only if i put in the effort to call them or invite them for a meal.
Due to the UK home office BS which makes it difficult and costly for legal people to get visas and mainly the fact that they refused my Filipino stepdaughter a visit visa we left and returned to the Philippines.
So for me leaving family behind was not a hard choice, i think i have more contact with them now on facebook than i ever did when i was there in person.
Sad but true

 

This is a question I have asked of Filipino's living in UK.
At the age of 58 and my youngest daughter had decided to leave home, I found myself in an empty house full of old memories.
As a widower of over ten years and never having found a lady I would choose to live with in UK, I met my Filipina wife via a Christian Friends Friendship site.
When I told my three Children of my intention to move to Philippines, they were shocked, as it turned out my health suffered due to the climate and I decided that apart from visiting, the Philippines was not the best option.
Eventually my wife was able to join me in UK and is happy here, however many younger Filipino's who living in the UK who have children born here, they face that same dilemma, of leaving their children/ grandchildren behind to retire to Philippines, they now realise that is a hard decision to have to make.
Having said that, I have never relied on my children in anyway, I have let them lead their own lives, so I feel they should let me do the same.
Living on the other side of the world would I of missed them? yes, do I see them as often as I would like? no! but that's their choice.

 

Same here . the barstewards refused my stepchild too. But the UK is giving those who break-in a helping hand and free legal help to get visas (and future citizenship) they refuse for their own citizens' new families!

Also, I read of a Vietnamese woman put in prison in the UK who was allowed permanent residence upon release, leading to citizenship, on the basis her family would not like her because she had done time! You couldn't make it up.

 

I'm curious how tough moving to the Philippines was for those that have children and grand children in their home country. In particular, if the children are just starting their adult life. I realize you have facetime and other ways to connect, but I don't think that is the same as seeing them in person on occasion. Do you travel once every year to two to see them or just rely on facetime?