⌛ Bisto ka’ng BisDak...kung…

By:Frederick Alain Docdocil

1. You feel insulted when a non-BisDak ridicules someone by saying "bisaya", but it´s okay for you if you or another BisDak use it to another BisDak, as in "ah, bisayaa pud oy!"
2. You feel proud when “Matud nila” is sung, and you sing along with it bisan dili nimo memorize.
3. Hibal-an nimo kung unsa ang “habal-habal” bisan wala pa ka kasakay niani, ug samot pa ang "sikad"
4. Common usages kung ga-tinagalog: the use of "kuwan" as an interjection ang superlative nga pirmi gamiton kay "masyado"; i.e., maingay masyado, sobra masyado, bilisan mo masyado (read: paspasi lagi) adunay tendency nga pulihan lang ang "o" or "a" og "i"; i.e., ang “atop” into “atip”, ang “kan-on” into “kan-in”, ang sud-an into sud-in ug ang utan into…
5. You know what "itlog mo `noy orange" means
6. You know that the karaang "bayle" aron nga mahimong modern kay gipulihan na og "disco" – dis-coral!
7. Aduna kay na hibaw-an nga at least usa ka kanta ni Yoyoy Villame o ni Max Surban - bisan sa tono man lang
8. You can use varied terms of endearment for friends and relatives; like bay/bai/ba’y, parts, paparts, migo, parekoy, pareng, choy, higala, kid, gaw, gaweks, manoy, nong, inse,ditse,iyo, iya, palangga, pangga, gang, etc.
9. You call someone "Inday" and/or "Dodong" as a term of affection, and hate it when other non-BisDak use the term as if it’s a title given for a househelp.
10. You know what "maning-hang" is
11. You know “vino kulafu” and “fighter wine” ...and may even know their jingles!
12. Instead of “stork”, you chose “snowbear” or you buy “Timbura” when you mean “Corniks”.
13. You’re familiar with the clothing brand “Loalde”.
14. You crave for inun-unan, paklay, halang-halang, law-oy, kinilaw, ginamos, bulad, binignit (tabirak), sikwate paresan sa puto maya, etc.
15. Esteban Escudero and Golyat are folk heroes.
16. “Handuman sa Usa ka Awit” is closer to your heart than “Maalaala Mo Kaya” TV show.
17. You know what HITACHI means (Himantayon, Tabian, Chismosa/o).
18. SUTUKIL is as common as TAPSI - in fact you know that SUTUKIL came first.
19. Your common pulutan for Tuba drinking is "TARGET" - asin nga targeton lang nimo sa imong tudlo!
20. You have at least once in your lifetime experienced "Ang Mysterio sa Paglawig sa Barko Padulong Manila"; a phenomenon that wherein as the Boat is approaching Manila, everybody around you suddenly becomes “tagalog” speaking nga adtong niaging adlaw pa lang pwerting bisaya pa ninyo!
21. You whisper bisaya to a fellow BisDak in the midst of a tagalog crowd...and he replies loudly to you in tagalog!
22. The first question you ask when you found out that someone is BisDak, "Taga-asa man diay ka?"
23. You usually use the warning phrase “Hala Ka!”
24. You know the meaning and proper usages of the following (irreverent) words/phrases: pesteng yawa, usapa na, pastilan, latina__ , butalo, wa’y kurat, hastang, puslan man (wa’y nag mahal), kuwangol, libod-suroy, ligas-paka, wa’y kuha, ka-ubo, kolera, sampila(koy) , burik_t, barbaki, mangga ka sir?, duha singko, balang, palag?, wa ka kyapi?, ok pas olrayt, haybol, ang pahak!, jer-jer, way ‘blema, tulibagbag, pagarpar, giro, pamalalat, kalandrakas, bulala, ambot sa langaw (pila’y idad sa ok-ok), bugnaw’g simod, buak ang pula, bagdok, gi-atay, gi-ahak, tibak (tiguwang nga bakla), NPA (nawong puros agtang), mamaklad, agua de pataranta, tira pasagad, basin diay pilay pad´s sa ungoy, banat kay awaaw, mat-an pa’s pinya, ngitngit pas’ alkitran, tak-om pa’s tuway, ug uban pa....
25. Sigurado ko’ng na-a pa kay ika-dugang ani... Unsa pa’y gi-hulatan nimo, share dayon ani.

I saw my wife LHAO reading this so I thought I'd share it with everyone. To my Expat friends..you know you have completely assimilated into the culture if you do or say even half of the things in this list.. Enjoy...

 

I saw my wife LHAO reading this so I thought I'd share it with everyone. To my Expat friends..you know you have completely assimilated into the culture if you do or say even half of the things in this list.. Enjoy...
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Panday,
I'd have enjoyed it a lot, I'm sure......if perhaps you would have added/interjected an English translation (example: like maybe in parentesis such as this?) after the Filipino words/phrases.
You know there are quite a few foreigners reading this forumn that haven't had the opportunity to understand the local language nearlyas well and fluently as you do - di ba?

 

I was thinking of doing that (translating) but that would ruin the fun of our expat friends sharing this with their local partners and having a laugh together. I will leave it to their partners to explain what it means. Plus, can you imagine how many pages it will take. Some Visayan word takes about 6 english words to translate..hahaha

 

Of course I get your point...and I easily can agree....but Panday, there are quite a few of us - like me - I THINK, that do not have an asawa from here. My asawa is from Luzon, and though a college grad, holder of 2 Master's degrees and a University instructor...she has not yet learned "conversational" Bisayan.....she was able to interpet a few parts...but not really well enough to catch the full flavor! LOL!

 

Nice one Panday.....I don't understand a word, but my wife was standing next to me and was laughing her head off !!!!!!!

 

Same here buddy, I understand the gist of it but I'm not a native speaker myself but my wife is. I have been trying to tell her to help me translate but she keep telling me it's not the same in english and I agree with her knowing that tagalog jokes does not translate well in english either. Hey John maybe your wife can translate this.

Sorry Don..you just have to find a girlfriend who can help you if the wife cannot do it (just kidding).

 

Again, I agree with 'ya...my asawa has often said that many phrases /words in Tagalog are alomst impossible to transalte into English! I was just hoping you could do so, as it does look as though it may really be very funny!

Oh...BTW -thank's for the tip of finding another girl to help in the translation, however, my asawa told me if I tried to follow your suggestion, I had better find a doctor to replace some kind of extremity I enjoy using.......gee - since she reverted to using some Tagalog words, I wonder what it is she means????

 

LLLLLLLLLL OOOOOOOO LLLLLLLLLL.........ouch.... are you sure she's tagalog and not waray?

 

That was funny

I understood maybe half, My wife understood 95% of it. But I have never gotten a good translation of "kuwan" and this is my wife's favorite word. So after six years of marriage I still asking about this word.