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culture..adjustment

Discussion in '☋ Dumaguete City ☋' started by SWEET & SOUR, Feb 25, 2010.

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  1. SWEET & SOUR

    SWEET & SOUR DI New Member

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    being a diferent culture its hard to adjust. specialy the gap age. but how its work out if both wont learn about the culture aech other.
    i am accept im doing bad times with my fiance. but is not it enough reason to meet another person after a big argue. and why he need to keep not telling me after he back to me, till i notice after one month........... i wanted to trust him again but i dpnt know how, i need his coorporate but he not care.
    today. we have argue bcos the cellphone he use frm the woman to text b4. last month i decide to change a phone cos i dont wnt to remind about theyre dating. even he say is only friend. for me is big issue if only a friend why he did not teling me b4 about her............. today his upset cos i keep that cellphone i know he dont need it, i plan sumdy i give it to my daughter. mybe is my mistake i not control my temper but i sensitive & i hve thinking why he want to get it, after long time i keep.. & sumtyms i cnt understnd he always deliver a words is not good. he not thinking if thts gud or bad.........i need help and advice
     
  2. john boy

    john boy DI Forum Luminary

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    Sweet n Sour, maybe you should ask advice of friends or relatives.People who know you better can make a better judgment of your situation.
     
  3. Panday Pera

    Panday Pera DI Forum Adept

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    Sweet n Sour, I hate to tell you this but this has nothing to do with culture. This is about commitment and respect. He, obviously, is not committed to you nor does he respect you at all. This is not something that a person who's supposed to love you would do. It is mean and disrespectful. You deserve better....
     
  4. OP
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    SWEET & SOUR

    SWEET & SOUR DI New Member

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    we are new in negros. we are living a place without so many nieghbor. and very few trycicle. im feel very dificult to adjust a place like here, but i never regret bcos for me this is very nice, every morning we have breakfast in the garden. looking a butterfly flying. and bird singing & the other bird busy to making a nest. every morning im always happy cos i see my fiance & my daughter. even im bored here i try to do my best to fell free living here. the worst time to me everytime my fiance & i had argue. its very painfull, & stress
    we are one year & half living together but till now i not meet his family yet, yes sumtym im feel had a litle doubbt even i know he have a good record but not only that, his plan is living here for good, i understand cos his family was far here, but we have many option this time we are hi technology. everytime he call his mother his mother he going ouside the house, yes i understnd cs is dificult to reach a signal inside the house, i understnd also he not use our landline cos is expensive to call overseas, but why till now he not offer me to great his mother, i rely wonderl why? sumtyms i ask myself if he is serius to me, or not, i realy love him, i give up my opurtunity b4 to go dubai bcos of him. everyday we have a trials.last october i was pregnant we are not living here yet still looking a houses, we stayed at the hotel, but 3:oclock in the morning his not on my side, i woried where he is, i col to the front desk to ask what time the bar close, but even that im realy woried what happen of him. im afraid to walk alone with the midle of the night specialy that time im pregnant, but i realy want to know where he is, im woried also cos we have flight in the morning going back to manila, sudenly while im walking i was front of the park, its have white van stoping of my front, i dont know how many people inside, they call me a take my hand, i m very nervius and i dont wnt to take inside, .
    im very thankfull its have old man coming with bycicle, i shout & they are leving,im still walking to find my fiance, he was at WHY NOT with the trycicle driver and guard, drinking brandy i tell him is enough cos we have flight in the morning, some of trycicle driver laughing to me and telling a bad words, i was very upset, and nervius, his realy drunk i need to help him to walk, i want to tell him about what happen to me. but he fall sleep, the morning the front desk has a wake up call. he upset & slump the door. yes a litle bit disapoint and i leave the room i going to the church, when i coming back to the hotel his not there his in the airport, my mistake is i not answer the phone when he calling me, i arrive the airport the plane is ready to leave im feel very sad, i need to get new plane ticket & wait at 4pm flight, is realy stress, after 3 hours i went at the cr, i notice i have bleeding, but im alone i dont know what i do, i dont think its a miscariage, i setting down to the church, but i need to get a new clothes im sure i cant take a plane if i not change,, even im very weak i need to be strong that time.......... when i arrive at manila he was at the airport waiting of me, accepting all the mistakes, and apologies each other... after 3 days i went on my doctor cos i still bleeding i got check up, ultrasound, the result is i i had completely miscariage, im realy deepres im feel hopeless. he always on my side, an we promise we move in negros to start new life, and fucos with my 5 years old daughter, not in one week since i got miscarige we need to start to packing with our things, the day b4 we leave he want me to swap a cellphone, i agree then b4 we go to bed i check my phone and i read all text msgs inbox & sent items, i comfront him thats a big issue to me, if i ealy know he had afair the woman in negros, i not moving here. its to late to back out cos all of our thing was at the ship, HOW we can move on if the woman was also in negros, even im strong, im fell weak specialy the relationship......... for being here with a new place we need to more adjustment, we are also at the period of adjustment....tonight his not here his leaving with some clothes, i dont know if i talk to him or i give up. or maybe is good idea have space? i dont have friend here this time i need advice..I wnt to trust him again, but dont know how.
     
  5. OP
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    SWEET & SOUR

    SWEET & SOUR DI New Member

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    panday pera. thank you, i want to move on but i dont know how i cant get a work here.. i want to go back at manila but i dont know how to start frm the bigining with 5 years old daughter...
     
  6. mydestinyz23

    mydestinyz23 DI Member

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    Sweet & Sour,

    I have a lot to say... Based on what you wrote, I feel so sorry for you. Im sorry but in my own opinion, your fiancee does not deserve any forgiveness. I don't think he really cares about you or your daughter. Why would someone like him, asked for forgiveness and then turn around and do it again, anyway? That's a total BS, pardon my language. I can't helped it but to think that he is using you. It is time to tell him that enough is enough!!! You will have a better life without him! I feel sorry already to the other woman...Send me a PM if you wanna talk. Take care.
     
  7. Rarity54f

    Rarity54f DI Forum Adept

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    I am sorry to hear about your situation. It seems complicated and if you decide to continue with this relationship I am sure that there will be more pains and stress on your part. You have to be strong enough to end this relationship that seems to be heading nowhere.
     
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