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Best Posts in Thread: Dating and Bringing Chaperone

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  1. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
     
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    Rye83, Feb 9, 2015
    #12
  2. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    I wonder what the percent of guys coming here to meet a girl they met online and are looking for a serious or ongoing relationship vs. guys just looking for p*ssy? Conversely, I wonder what the percent of girls scheming guys online vs. girls looking for a serious relationship to get out of the craphole they may be in? And the beat goes on..
     
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    PatO, Feb 9, 2015
    #11
  3. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    This has been a problem for myself in the past as well. I've actually taken a girl on a date who brought 2 female cousins and 1 male "cousin" (who happened to turn out to be her boyfriend). I quickly discovered that the male cousin was being a little too over protective and the two females were ordering WAY to many drinks and a lot of food. I verified this with one of the staff members I am friends with. I stuck around for awhile to torment the boyfriend by holding hands with the girl and even managed to get a little kiss in. I let them continue to order more drinks and food for an hour or so then I acted like I had to go to the CR, went to the bar and paid for my food and drinks and then left, leaving them with a pretty large bill. That's how I deal with that nonsense. Also, if a girl brings the entire family as a chaperon I know what type of girl she is and I won't be interested enough to even stick around for the entire meal.

    If I am not spoken to during a date I will not be volunteering for a second one.

    I will accept a certain amount of questioning (what would be normal in getting to know a person) and I even allow one financial question, which is "how long do you plan on staying in the Philippines and how do you support yourself?". Which gets a very vague response with absolutely no specifics on how rich or poor I am. Any further questions into my financial situation gives me a good hint on what type of family they are. If I feel like I'm being interrogated like I'm a criminal I will politely try to put a stop to it....and if that doesn't work I walk away.

    Again, if they bring all their friends out for a free drink/meal then I don't stick around. If they leave me out of the conversation I lose interest in the girl I was supposed to have a date out with. Them talking only with themselves shows what their true intentions were (a free night out on the town).

    You've already mentioned this one. Say "no" or walk away. If the guy doesn't have the balls to say no then he is in for a lot more problems than just finding a date in the Philippines.

    The key is to just be able to say no and/or walk away. If a person can't do that then they have no business in the Philippines. I personally have no problem with someone bringing a chaperon; it actually tells me much more about their personality than they stand to learn about me from bringing one (or more). If I'm looking for a one night stand I wouldn't be looking on a dating website (and if I did the conversation would stop the second "chaperon" was mentioned).

    I see how this could start to bring the thread way off track. I'll start a new thread with it.
     
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    Rye83, Feb 8, 2015
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  4. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    Regardless of my intentions I would have told you that you are overstepping with the passport request. The security alarms in my head start going off when someone who has no need to see my passport asks for it, the conversation doors slam shut at that point and no further information would be volunteered to anyone at the table. A stranger being an expat doesn't earn them any extra trust from me. For all I know you could be in on a plot that's looking for a specific nationality to kidnap.
     
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    Rye83, Feb 8, 2015
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  5. PatO

    PatO DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster Showcase Reviewer Veteran Marines

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    Taking a simplistic view of a chaperone involvement in an introduction meeting, let's assume we can group the players into groups of fours. Two guy groups and two girl groups. Two guy groups in my scenarios are two types: Those hooking up with an online dating service hoping to find a serious relationship and/or marriage; and those looking for a one night stand as they travel likely Asian countries. The girl groups would be: Those nice girls hoping to meet a nice foreigner to improve their (and their family's) future; and those who have been around and schooled or experienced in dating foreigner and everything that implies. The way I see it the nice girl could possibly benefit from a chaperone as well as any naive foreigner could use a foreigner chaperone himself.
    We all know the experienced girls are going to have their own game plan and the one night stand guys will as well, so no chaperone needed.
    If I was a chaperone for a guy wanting to meet my sister-in-law, how many guys would show me their passports if I asked to see it? I bet d*mn few.
    Just yacking...
     
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    PatO, Feb 8, 2015
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  6. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Well No names So no Pack drill, But not all that long ago, a member here told us one Lunch time meet that he had only been here a few days and met up with a Staff Member of a Notoriously Questionable Bar/ Resto that he quite Liked. Long Story cut short, they arranged a Lunch date at a Resort for the Following Day. YUP! The Whole Family Turned up. Some 4.000+ bill and a Goodnight Vienna.
    Had he read this before Today, I am sure he would have had to make a Phone/CR call at an early stage in the Proceedings. :wink:
    Life really is a learning Curve.

    JP:bag:
     
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    Jack Peterson, Feb 8, 2015
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  7. vea abao

    vea abao DI New Member

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    As for my opinion u have to look both side, the girl safetiness to a strnger 1 is the most important, for me u dont hv to tell the guy that you bring a chaperon with u, the guy may feel awkward, its a lot of scary things happening of dating stranger, for me its better to bring some1 in ur first meeting with a guy but ur companion to be ur look up!!! He or she dont need to be in ur table, though i havent try to have a date with strsnger but for me thats the best way,
     
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    vea abao, Feb 21, 2015
    #27
  8. Jack Peterson

    Jack Peterson DI Forum Luminary Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Air Force

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    Yeah! and they remember this only until the round of wants and needs and the fact even you, use a term "Longnose" goes to prove somewhat how we are viewed by the Many.
    I don't wish to appear derogative but to those many (maybe not all) if the cap fits wear it. Chaperons are one thing, the family Fiesta day out is another.
    For me, Meet ( with your Cousin Aunt whoever) Talk, decide if you should meet again, You Do meet again with or without your Chaperon, talk some more,

    AH! you like each other, Then and only then Go meet the family, The Rest is then in the hands and/or Pocket of the Suitor.

    It worked for me and Azon's Chaperon was her Boss. After 4 days in Manila we decided we could make ago of this, We returned to Dumaguete, I funded a One Off Family Party to Introduce my self and those that were there just for the Food and Drink, are not even on My Christmas card List.

    That's me.

    JP :bag: :cautious:
     
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    Jack Peterson, Feb 14, 2015
    #25
  9. Rye83

    Rye83 with pastrami Admin Secured Account Highly Rated Poster SC Connoisseur Veteran Army

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    Needing to and wanting to are two different things. :wink:
     
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    Rye83, Feb 10, 2015
    #15
  10. tlrtraveler

    tlrtraveler DI Forum Adept

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    My response to the passport request would be "Why do you want to see it"??? Itsa similar response to when people ask me "how much did it cost?" If the guy is a "player", you will know in just a few minutes of conversation, if he is sincere and no "rookie" to travel, HE would be offended by such an intrusion--personally, I would just walk away from the entire situation. No offense meant, but I just refuse to be treated like a miscreant.
     
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    tlrtraveler, Feb 9, 2015
    #10
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