Trades & Labor Best Posts in Thread: Fiance Job

Yes, those two things square very well. The family being the most important thing in life does not mean physical contact; it means feeding, clothing, educating etc. So a Filipino (usually Filipina I think) will sacrifice her life to be an OFW (even to countries where they are treated so badly.... even executed sometimes for dubious reasons!). What concerns me is that some other family members use that as an excuse to do nothing to earn money; sis or whoever is abroad so she can look after us! I am told that The Philippines has no benefits system ... but it does ... it is called 'other family members who bother to work'.

 

Why don;t you apply for a fiance visa for her? i'm pretty sure you divorce does not have to be recognized in the phils for a finace visa to the US, it just has to be a legal divorce in the US. The person who could verify this for you is forum member shadow, but he hasn'ty posted in a while. This is his website;

www.pinayvisa.com

 

My source, a Filipina in Hong Kong, said that Canada was actually one of the easier places to get. She used a service in Manila and I believe is in Canada now (I wasn't married then but am now so haven't kept in touch). The reason it is easier is wayyyy to cold and wayyy to far from the Philippines for most even though the treatment, pay, and path to citizenship is better.

 

i live in a farming community and most of my neighbors are partly supported by other family members. i can only think of a few households that put much effort into ''putting bread on the table.''

 

Sorry, but based on the circumstances I will ask. How do you know this information is true? Would not be the first time a story like this has been used to separate money from a foreigner. It is possible that it is the actual horrible story that has been described, it is also possible that the only truth in the story is the family wanting you to send p17k+.

 

Wow...some story there friend. I hope they put away the bad guys that did this for a long time.

I just get a sense of hopelessness around this subject. The endless grind, the poverty, the efforts of many to improve themselves in a system that hasn't given anyone a chance of a head start anyway...family, culture, 3rd world economics and labour laws...one big stack of cards against you when perhaps all you have been dealt is wits and intelligence. Jeez, it's no wonder some folks fall back on the handouts from those that do....I believe it's called the Bystander Effect.

I haven't got a close to family story to rival yours. My wife worked hard, her Father (mother had died very young) sacrificed everything. She went to school, avoided the uneducated OFW slavery trap and chanced into meeting me (um, I guess she could sue me for sexual harassment as I was her boss). There by the grace....

There are some rellies that 'try it on' but the answer is "find your own Gwapo foreigner to marry" -which causes some confusion amongst the more macho of them, but I am sure they get the message. My advice to anyone marrying, living, working here is to keep those boundaries tight. Be generous in the face of hard work, thrift and honesty; don't be played a sucker for the sob stories, emergencies and get rich quick schemes.

Good luck to you and your fiancé. I hope things turn out ok.

C

Wow

 

Yes, my ex wife and I sent a LOT of money home almost to our own detriment. Always a newer, bigger, emergency than the last. Never called to ask how things are going here, only call to ask for money. I told them not long ago that we are divorced, so no more obligation. I think that this resulted in a barang being put on me and my ex. My ex's younger sister was murdered by her boyfriend's family. They were trying to get her to ask for money from me and my ex, and when she wasn't successful, they killed her. I DO feel bad about this. She was just a little kid when I saw her in person last. She was my little shadow everywhere I went, pulling off my slippers as I entered homes & stuff. So, her death hit me hard even though my wife and I were already separated. At the time, we didn't know she had been murdered. We were told that it was internal bleeding as a result of complications of having given birth 3 days before. A year later, a neighbor of the boyfriend's family came forward with information that she was murdered. This was confirmed by the autopsy that she was beaten and suffered internal bleeding as a result of blunt force trauma and she was strangled. The forensic Dr. said that she put up a fight and it was evidenced by the defensive wounds and skin under her fingernails. This made me sick to hear it all over again. The PNP investigation and exhumation and forensics were covered in part by the mayor's office since my ex-bro-in-law works there, but they asked me for help with the rest of the money which amounted to 17K+ for the investigation and prosecution of the exbf and his family. As far as I know, they haven't been arrested yet, and they have been actively sending death threats to my ex's family. Really a strange situation, and very surreal to witness so called "Justice" in the PI. Although, I don't feel responsible to them, and they could be a real pain in my arse sometimes, I still care about what happens to them and I don't wish anyone ill will.

 

I found classifying the the money as a loan and not as a gift had a magical effect, as long as you held them to the loan.

 

It always amazes me that when asked what is most important to a Filipino, they say "Family". So I find it ironic that so many take jobs overseas with 2 year non-return contracts which minimizes their contact with their family. So I guess that being the responsible party for financially supporting the family is the main role in the family relationship and the most important thing in their life. I just do not understand, but again I have never had to face that decision of money or family myself.