Trades & Labor Fiance Job

Repetition is the key.......so how do you feel about expats that borrow money? lol

 

Wow...some story there friend. I hope they put away the bad guys that did this for a long time.

I just get a sense of hopelessness around this subject. The endless grind, the poverty, the efforts of many to improve themselves in a system that hasn't given anyone a chance of a head start anyway...family, culture, 3rd world economics and labour laws...one big stack of cards against you when perhaps all you have been dealt is wits and intelligence. Jeez, it's no wonder some folks fall back on the handouts from those that do....I believe it's called the Bystander Effect.

I haven't got a close to family story to rival yours. My wife worked hard, her Father (mother had died very young) sacrificed everything. She went to school, avoided the uneducated OFW slavery trap and chanced into meeting me (um, I guess she could sue me for sexual harassment as I was her boss). There by the grace....

There are some rellies that 'try it on' but the answer is "find your own Gwapo foreigner to marry" -which causes some confusion amongst the more macho of them, but I am sure they get the message. My advice to anyone marrying, living, working here is to keep those boundaries tight. Be generous in the face of hard work, thrift and honesty; don't be played a sucker for the sob stories, emergencies and get rich quick schemes.

Good luck to you and your fiancé. I hope things turn out ok.

C

Wow

 

Sorry, but based on the circumstances I will ask. How do you know this information is true? Would not be the first time a story like this has been used to separate money from a foreigner. It is possible that it is the actual horrible story that has been described, it is also possible that the only truth in the story is the family wanting you to send p17k+.

 

It was the actual lawyer that contacted me via skype. Her husband is also a judge in Cagayan De Oro.
You are right though, they have used pretty big stories in the past, based partly on truth to fluff their actual need of how much money. I had caught them in lies before and I didn't initially believe them on this either at first until after I spoke with the lawyer. I didn't send much as I didn't have much to send, so my ex and her BF sent the rest.

 

i live in a farming community and most of my neighbors are partly supported by other family members. i can only think of a few households that put much effort into ''putting bread on the table.''

 

I think another thing that is working against my girl, is the fact that she was out of a job for long enough that things have piled up on her. It seems like such a mountain of things to do compared to how much she makes that it seems almost impossible. It keeps her up at night. I've helped as much as I can, but I also have my own family, bills and life to maintain as well. I'm thinking that there's got to be better ways to get money to her than the usual remittance like Western Union or Xoom. I wish she had a good reloadable visa or mastercard that I could simply reload so she's not carrying cash in the big city. We are both trying to keep it so that she doesn't have to rely on me for financial support. She's got a lot of pride and actually doesn't want me to send anything. She has actually never asked me for help, I just sometimes send it because I can sense the impossibility of her situation. She often wishes that she hadn't left her job in Kuwait because she said that even though it was abusive, she could deal with it and she made way more money and she didn't need my help. She said that she's so ashamed that I help her and yet, she feels like a burden on her friends that she's living with if she can't pay her share. She feels like she's forced into dependence on me and on the charity of her friends and she feels terrible about it. She's a hard worker, I've seen her work with a bad ankle sprain where it was swelled up like a grapefruit. Working a 12 hour shift on her feet. In the USA, people don't know how well they have it with the labor laws here that favor the worker. I'm proud of her that she has a sense of pride and independence, not many there have that from my experience. If she goes somewhere as an OFW, I wouldn't blame her, I just hope she can go somewhere good. One day, when we can be together for good, I think we could make a good team and build a better life because I know that she's not above working hard to make her dreams a reality. She wants to eventually own a restaurant.

 

I don't think there are any easy ways around your problem other than to face them head on and take it one step at a time... After living here for a bit over two years I tend to ignore the poverty side of things nowadays, because a lot of it is caused by sheer laziness on the part of many who hold out their hands... Once you live here for a while you will get a better idea of how things work and sometimes initial impressions from a quick visit to this country tend to sour once reality sets in...

 

Backing up a bit, before we got married my wife was working in the Duma market arranging/selling flowers (she is the one who did the Easter arrangement outside at the old Cathedral last year) and was making p5,000/month working 6 12 hour days a week, same amount for her cousin working at Foodnet.

It sounds like it will be awhile before/if you move here. There are more places than Kuwait and Hong Kong to be an OFW, especially since she has experience. I would suggest she look into OFW jobs in Canada, much easier for you to visit and much closer if not the same time zone to talk etc.

 

Yeah, there are other places to be an OFW for sure, and Canada would be great, Alberta would be even better as it's only over the Montana border, & Calgary is only 400+ miles from my home. It would be great if she could. I don't know how hard it is to get an OFW job in Canada though. I would like her to try for it though.
In the Philippines, I noticed that since they only get 1 day a week off, and in her case that is often taken away when someone leaves or is fired, which seems quite often, it makes it harder for them to look for another job. Almost like it's intentionally designed to lock them in, making it nearly impossible for them to find something else unless they quit first. I think that the dream sold to her by a relative about how great a ladyguard job would be was greatly exaggerated, and it was expensive to get with all of the license & paperwork & uniform & bullets to buy. She knows of better paying ladyguard jobs, but they are also much further away and so she would also have to spend a long time in transit between her home and the job and risk being late due to how unreliable transportation and traffic is in Manila.
I'm definitely looking into some Canada OFW jobs for her if any are available. I'm sure those are even harder to get than other OFW jobs and probably high fees to obtain them to boot.